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October 2012
- 55 participants
- 66 discussions
Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effectsof new technology
by Del Morril 21 Oct '12
by Del Morril 21 Oct '12
21 Oct '12
Bless you Ester Mae!
Del
_____
From: oe-bounces(a)lists.wedgeblade.net
[mailto:oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of ESTER MAE COX
Sent: Saturday, October 20, 2012 8:02 PM
To: Order Ecumenical Community
Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effectsof
new technology
Sherry Turkle's "contact" web page is: http://alonetogetherbook.com/?p=3
Make it Good Day!
Ester Mae Cox
2330 265th Street
Peru IA 50222-8299
515-462-6798
missestermae(a)gmail.com
On Oct 20, 2012, at 2:59 PM, Del Morrill wrote:
I am overwhelmed by that fantastic and profound essay. I'd love to add it
to the articles on my web site if someone points the way to the author.
Del
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.
1
0
Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effects of new technology
by Del Morrill 21 Oct '12
by Del Morrill 21 Oct '12
21 Oct '12
I am overwhelmed by that fantastic and profound essay. I'd love to add it
to the articles on my web site if someone points the way to the author.
Del
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.
Del Hunter Morrill, M.S., N.B.C.C.H.
Personal Guide & Hypnotherapist, Teacher, Lecturer
And Author of the GREAT ESCAPES Script Volumes
TRANSITIONS, a Center for Personal Guidance
And home of NEW BEGINNINGS PUBLISHING
3217 North Mason Avenue, Tacoma Washington 98407 USA
Phone (253) 383-5757; <http://www.hypnocenter.com/> www.hypnocenter.com
To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually
thrown out of the nest. (Pema Chodron)
_____
From: oe-bounces(a)lists.wedgeblade.net
[mailto:oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of Shelley Hahn
Sent: Saturday, October 20, 2012 7:39 AM
To: Order Ecumenical Community
Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effects
of new technology
Thanks for sharing this, Paul. Very profound and important.
Shelley
On Thu, Oct 18, 2012 at 4:40 AM, <PSchrijnen(a)aol.com> wrote:
further to our little conversation about the impact of different
technological platforms.......
This TED talk by Sherry Turkle covers the challenge of what the digital
revolution
is doing to our communication, connection and capacity to cause and use
reflection
This is well worth the 19 minutes.
Paul
www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html
And here is a transcript:
Just a <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#0>
moment ago, my
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#2000> daughter
Rebecca texted me for good luck. Her
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#6000> text
said, <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#8000>
"Mom, you will rock." I love
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#11000> this.
Getting <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#13000>
that text was
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#15000> like
getting a hug. And so
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#17000> there
you have it.I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#20000> embody
the <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#22000>
central paradox. I'm a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#24000> woman
who <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#26000>
loves getting texts who's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#28000> going to
tell youthat
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#30000> too many
of them can be a problem.
Actually <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#33000>
that reminder of my daughter brings
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#36000> me to
the beginning of my story. 1996,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#39000> when I
gave my first TEDTalk, Rebecca
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#43000> was five
years old and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#45000> she was
sitting right there in the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#47000> front
row. I had
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#49000> just
written a book that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#51000>
celebrated our life on the internet and I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#53000> was
about to be on the cover of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#56000> Wired
magazine. In
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#58000> those
heady days, we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#60000> were
experimenting with
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#62000> chat
rooms and online virtual communities. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#65000> were
exploring different aspects of ourselves.And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#69000> then we
unplugged. I was
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#71000> excited.
And, <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#73000> as
a psychologist, what excited me most was
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#76000> the idea
that <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#78000> we
would use what we learned in the virtual world about
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#81000>
ourselves, about our identity, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#84000> live
better lives in the real world.
Now <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#87000>
fast-forward to 2012. I'm
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#90000> back
here on the TED stage again. My
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#93000>
daughter's 20. She's a college student. She
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#96000> sleeps
with her cellphone, so do
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#100000> I. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#102000> I've
just written a new book,but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#105000> this
time it's not one that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#108000> will
get me on the cover of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#110000> Wired
magazine. So what
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#112000>
happened? I'm
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#115000> still
excited by technology, but I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#118000>
believe, and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#120000> I'm
here to make the case,that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#122000> we're
letting it take us places that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#124000> we
don't want to go.
Over <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#126000>
the past 15 years, I've
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#128000> studied
technologies of mobile communication and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#131000> I've
interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people, young
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#134000> and
old, about
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#136000> their
plugged in lives.And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#138000> what
I've found is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#140000> that
our little devices, those
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#142000> little
devices in our pockets, are
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#145000> so
psychologically powerful that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#147000> they
don't only change what we do, they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#151000> change
who we are.Some
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#154000> of the
things we do now with our devices are
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#156000> things
that, only a few years ago, we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#159000> would
have found odd or
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#161000>
disturbing, but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#163000> they've
quickly come to seem familiar, just
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#166000> how we
do things.
So <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#168000> just
to take some quick examples: People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#171000> text or
do email during
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#173000>
corporate board meetings. They
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#176000> text
and shop and go on Facebook during
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#179000>
classes, during presentations,actually
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#182000> during
all meetings. People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#184000> talk to
me about the important new skill of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#187000> making
eye contact while
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#189000> you're
texting. (Laughter)
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#191000> People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#193000> explain
to me that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#195000> it's
hard, but that it can be done. Parents
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#198000> text
and do email at
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#200000>
breakfast and at dinner while
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#202000> their
children complainabout
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#205000> not
having their parents' full attention. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#207000> then
these same children deny
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#209000> each
other their full attention. This
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#212000> is a
recent shot of my
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#214000>
daughter and her friends being
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#217000>
together while
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#219000> not
being together. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#222000> we even
text at funerals. I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#224000> study
this. We <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#226000>
remove ourselves from our
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#228000> grief
or from our revery and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#230000> we go
into our phones.
Why <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#233000>
does this matter? It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#235000> matters
to me because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#237000> I think
we're setting ourselves up for trouble -- trouble
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#240000>
certainly in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#242000> how we
relate to each other, but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#244000> also
trouble in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#246000> how we
relate to ourselves and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#249000> our
capacity for self-reflection. We're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#252000> getting
used to a new way of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#254000> being
alone together. People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#257000> want to
be with each other, but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#259000> also
elsewhere -- connected
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#261000> to all
the different places they want to be. People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#264000> want to
customize their lives. They
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#267000> want to
go in and out of all the places they are because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#270000> the
thing that matters most to them is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#272000> control
over where they put their attention. So
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#276000> you
want to go to that board meeting, but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#279000> you
only want to pay attention to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#281000> the
bits that interest you. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#283000> some
people think that's a good thing. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#286000> you can
end up hiding
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#288000> from
each other, even
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#290000> as
we're all constantly connected to each other.
A <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#293000>
50-year-old business man lamented
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#295000> to me
that <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#297000> he
feels he doesn't have colleagues anymore at work. When
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#300000> he goes
to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody, he
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#303000> doesn't
call. And he
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#305000> says he
doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues because,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#308000> he
says, "They're too busy on their email." But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#311000> then he
stops himself and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#313000> he
says, "You know, I'm not telling you the truth. I'm
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#315000> the one
who doesn't want to be interrupted. I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#318000> think I
should want to, but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#320000>
actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry."
Across <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#324000>
the generations, I see
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#326000> that
people can't get enough of each other, if
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#330000> and
only if they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#332000> can
have each other at a distance, in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#335000> amounts
they can control. I call
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#337000> it the
Goldilocks effect: not
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#340000> too
close, not too far, just
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#343000> right.
But <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#345000>
what might feel just right for
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#347000> that
middle-aged executive can
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#349000> be a
problem for an adolescent who
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#351000> needs
to develop face-to-face relationships. An
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#355000>
18-year-old boy who
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#357000> uses
texting for almost everything says
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#360000> to me
wistfully,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#362000>
"Someday, someday, but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#365000>
certainly not now, I'd
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#367000> like to
learn how to have a conversation."
When <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#371000> I
ask people
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#373000> "What's
wrong with having a conversation?" People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#376000> say,
"I'll tell you what's wrong with having a conversation. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#380000> takes
place in real time and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#383000> you
can't control what you're going to say." So
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#387000> that's
the bottom line. Texting,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#389000> email,
posting, all
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#392000> of
these things let
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#394000> us
present the self as we want to be. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#397000> get to
edit, and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#399000> that
means we get to delete, and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#402000> that
means we get to retouch, the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#405000> face,
the voice, the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#407000> flesh,
the body -- not
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#409000> too
little, not too much, just
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#412000> right.
Human <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#414000>
relationships are
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#416000> rich
and they're messy and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#418000> they're
demanding. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#420000> we
clean them up with technology. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#423000> when we
do, one <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#425000>
of the things that can happen is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#427000> that we
sacrifice conversation for
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#429000> mere
connection. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#431000>
short-change ourselves. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#434000> over
time, we <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#436000>
seem to forget this, or we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#438000> seem to
stop caring.
I was <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#441000>
caught off guard when
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#445000> Stephen
Colbert asked
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#447000> me a
profound question, a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#451000>
profound question. He
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#454000> said,
"Don't all those little tweets, don't
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#460000> all
those little sips of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#463000> online
communication, add
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#466000> up to
one big gulp of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#469000> real
conversation?" My
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#473000> answer
was no, they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#475000> don't
add up. Connecting
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#477000> in sips
may work for
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#481000>
gathering discreet bits of information, they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#485000> may
work for saying, "I'm thinking about you," or
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#489000> even
for saying, "I love you," -- I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#491000> mean,
look at how I felt when
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#493000> I got
that text from my daughter -- but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#496000> they
don't really work for
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#498000>
learning about each other, for
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#500000> really
coming to know and understand each other. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#504000> we use
conversations with each other to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#508000> learn
how to have conversations with
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#510000>
ourselves. So a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#512000> flight
from conversation can
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#514000> really
matter because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#516000> it can
compromise our
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#518000>
capacity for self-reflection. For
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#520000> kids
growing up, that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#522000> skill
is the bedrock of development.
Over <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#526000>
and over I hear,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#528000> "I would
rather text than talk." And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#531000> what
I'm seeing is that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#533000> people
get so used to being short-changed out
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#535000> of real
conversation, so
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#537000> used to
getting by with less,that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#540000> they've
become almost willing to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#542000>
dispense with people altogether. So
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#544000> for
example,many
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#546000> people
share with me this wish, that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#548000> some
day a more advanced version of Siri, the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#551000> digital
assistant on Apple's iPhone, will
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#554000> be more
like a best friend, someone
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#556000> who
will listenwhen
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#558000> others
won't. I <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#560000>
believe this wish reflects
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#562000> a
painful truth that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#564000> I've
learned in the past 15 years. That
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#567000> feeling
that no one is listening to me is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#571000> very
important in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#573000> our
relationships with technology. That's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#575000> why
it's so appealing to have
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#577000> a
Facebook page or a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#579000> Twitter
feed -- so
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#581000> many
automatic listeners. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#584000> the
feeling that no one is listening to me make
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#587000> us want
to spend time with
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#589000>
machines that seem to care about us.
We're <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#592000>
developing robots, they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#594000> call
them sociable robots, that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#596000> are
specifically designed to be companions -- to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#599000> the
elderly, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#601000> our
children, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#603000> us.
Have <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#605000> we
so lost confidence that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#608000> we will
be there for each other? During
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#612000> my
research I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#614000> worked
in nursing homes, and I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#616000> brought
in these sociable robots that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#619000> were
designed to give the elderly the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#621000> feeling
that they were understood. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#624000> one day
I came in and a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#626000> woman
who had lost a child was
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#628000> talking
to a robotin
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#630000> the
shape of a baby seal. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#633000> seemed
to be looking in her eyes. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#635000> seemed
to be following the conversation. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#638000>
comforted her. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#641000> many
people found this amazing.
But <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#645000>
that woman was trying to make sense of her life with
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#650000> a
machine that had no experienceof
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#653000> the arc
of a human life. That
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#656000> robot
put on a great show. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#658000> we're
vulnerable. People
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#660000>
experience pretend empathy as
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#663000> though
it were the real thing. So
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#666000> during
that moment when
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#670000> that
woman was
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#672000>
experiencing that pretend empathy, I was
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#675000>
thinking, "That robot can't empathize. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#678000> doesn't
face death. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#680000> doesn't
know life."
And <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#682000> as
that woman took comfort in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#684000> her
robot companion, I didn't
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#686000> find it
amazing; I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#688000> found
it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments in my
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#692000> 15
years of work. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#696000> when I
stepped back, I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#698000> felt
myself at
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#700000> the
cold, hard center of a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#703000> perfect
storm. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#705000> expect
more from technology and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#708000> less
from each other. And I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#711000> ask
myself, <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#713000>
"Why have things come to this?"
And I <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#716000>
believe it's because technology
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#718000> appeals
to us most where
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#721000> we are
most vulnerable.And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#723000> we are
vulnerable. We're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#725000> lonely,
but <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#727000>
we're afraid of intimacy. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#729000> so from
social networks to sociable robots, we're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#732000>
designing technologies that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#734000> will
give us the illusion of companionship without
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#737000> the
demands of friendship. We turn
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#739000> to
technology to help us feel connected in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#742000> ways we
can comfortably control. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#745000> we're
not so comfortable. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#747000> are not
so much in control.
These <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#750000>
days, those phones in our pockets are
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#753000>
changing our minds and hearts because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#755000> they
offer us three
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#757000>
gratifying fantasies. One,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#759000> that we
can put our attention wherever
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#761000> we want
it to be; two,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#763000> that we
will always be heard; and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#766000> three,
that we will never have to be alone. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#769000> that
third idea, that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#771000> we will
never have to be alone, is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#774000> central
to changing our psyches.Because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#776000> the
moment that people are alone, even
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#779000> for a
few seconds, they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#781000> become
anxious, they panic, they fidget, they
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#784000> reach
for a device. Just
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#786000> think
of people at a checkout line or at
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#788000> a red
light. Being
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#790000> alone
feels like a problem that needs to be solved. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#794000> so
people try to solve it by connecting. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#797000> here,
connection is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#799000> more
like a symptom than a cure. It
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#802000>
expresses, but it doesn't solve, an
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#805000>
underlying problem. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#807000> more
than a symptom, constant
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#809000>
connection is changing the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#811000> way
people think of themselves. It's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#813000> shaping
a new way of being.
The <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#816000>
best way to describe it is, I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#818000> share
therefore I am. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#821000> use
technology to define ourselves by
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#824000> sharing
our thoughts and feelings even
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#826000> as
we're having them. So
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#828000> before
it was: I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#830000> have a
feeling, I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#832000> want to
make a call. Now
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#834000> it's: I
want to have a feeling, I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#837000> need to
send a text. The
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#839000> problem
with this new regime of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#842000> "I
share therefore I am" is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#844000> that,
if we don't have connection, we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#846000> don't
feel like ourselves. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#848000> almost
don't feel ourselves. So
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#850000> what do
we do? We connect more and more. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#853000> in the
process, we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#855000> set
ourselves up to be isolated.
How do <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#858000>
you get from connection to isolation? You
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#862000> end up
isolated if
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#864000> you
don't cultivate the capacity for solitude, the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#866000> ability
to be separate, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#869000> gather
yourself. Solitude
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#871000> is
where you find yourself so
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#874000> that
you can reach out to other people and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#876000> form
real attachments. When
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#879000> we
don't have the capacity for solitude, we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#882000> turn to
other people in order to feel less anxious or in
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#885000> order
to feel alive. When
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#887000> this
happens, we're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#889000> not
able to appreciate who they are. It's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#892000> as
though we're using them as
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#894000> spare
parts to support
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#896000> our
fragile sense of self. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#899000> slip
into thinking that always being connected is
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#902000> going
to make us feel less alone. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#906000> we're
at risk,because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#908000>
actually it's the opposite that's true. If
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#911000> we're
not able to be alone, we're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#913000> going
to be more lonely. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#915000> if we
don't teach our children to be alone, they're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#918000> only
going to know how
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#920000> to be
lonely.
When I <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#922000>
spoke at TED in 1996, reporting
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#925000> on my
studies of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#927000> the
early virtual communities, I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#929000> said,
"Those who make the most of
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#932000> their
lives on the screen come
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#934000> to it
in a spirit of self-reflection." And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#937000> that's
what I'm calling for here, now: reflection
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#940000> and,
more than that, a conversation about
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#943000> where
our current use of technology may
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#946000> be
taking us, what
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#948000> it
might be costing us. We're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#950000> smitten
with technology. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#953000> we're
afraid, like young lovers, that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#956000> too
much talking might spoil the romance. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#959000> it's
time to talk. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#961000> grew up
with digital technology and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#964000> so we
see it as all grown up. But
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#966000> it's
not, it's early days. There's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#969000> plenty
of time for
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#971000> us to
reconsider how we use it, how
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#973000> we
build it. I'm
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#975000> not
suggesting that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#977000> we turn
away from our devices, just
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#979000> that we
develop a more self-aware relationship with
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#982000> them,
with each other and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#984000> with
ourselves.
I see <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#987000>
some first steps. Start
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#989000>
thinking of solitude as a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#991000> good
thing. Make
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#993000> room
for it. Find
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#995000> ways to
demonstrate this as a
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#998000> value
to your children. Create
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1000000> sacred
spaces at home -- the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1002000>
kitchen, the dining room -- and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1004000>
reclaim them for conversation. Do
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1007000> the
same thing at work.At
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1009000> work,
we're so busy communicating that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1011000> we
often don't have time to think, we
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1014000> don't
have time to talk, about
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1017000> the
things that really matter. Change
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1019000> that.
Most <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1021000>
important, we all really need to listen to each other, including
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1025000> to the
boring bits. Because
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1029000> it's
when we stumble or
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1031000>
hesitate or lose our words that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1034000> we
reveal ourselves to each other.
Technology
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1038000> is
making a bid to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1041000>
redefine human connection -- how
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1043000> we
care for each other,how
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1045000> we
care for ourselves -- but
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1047000> it's
also giving us the opportunity to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1049000> affirm
our values and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1051000> our
direction. I'm
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1053000>
optimistic. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1055000> have
everything we need to start. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1058000> have
each other. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1060000> we
have the greatest chance of success if
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1063000> we
recognize our vulnerability. That
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1066000> we
listenwhen
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1068000>
technology says it
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1070000> will
take something complicated and
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1073000>
promises something simpler.
So <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1076000> in
my work, I
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1078000> hear
that life is hard, relationships
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1081000> are
filled with risk. And
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1083000> then
there's technology -- simpler,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1085000>
hopeful, optimistic,
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1087000>
ever-young. It's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1090000> like
calling in the cavalry. An ad
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1092000>
campaign promises that
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1094000> online
and with avatars, you
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1096000> can
"Finally, love your friends love
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1100000> your
body, love your life, online
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1103000> and
with avatars." We're
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1106000> drawn
to virtual romance, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1108000>
computer games that seem like worlds, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1111000> the
idea that robots, robots, will
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1115000>
someday be our true companions. We
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1118000> spend
an evening on the social network instead
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1121000> of
going to the pub with friends.
But <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1124000>
our fantasies of substitution have
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1126000> cost
us. Now <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1129000>
we all need to focus on
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1132000> the
many, many ways technology
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1134000> can
lead us back to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1136000> our
real lives, our own bodies, our
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1139000> own
communities, our
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1141000> own
politics, our
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1143000> own
planet. They
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1145000> need
us. Let's
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1147000> talk
about how
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1149000> we can
use digital technology, the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1152000>
technology of our dreams, to
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1155000> make
this life the
<http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1157000> life
we can love.
Thank <http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1159000>
you.
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1
Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effectsof new tech...
by Del Morrill 20 Oct '12
by Del Morrill 20 Oct '12
20 Oct '12
I know its Sherry Turkle - I need to know how I get ahold of her so I can
get her permission to publish the article.
Thanks much.
Del
_____
From: oe-bounces(a)lists.wedgeblade.net
[mailto:oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of LAURELCG(a)aol.com
Sent: Saturday, October 20, 2012 2:16 PM
To: oe(a)lists.wedgeblade.net
Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effectsof
new tech...
It's Sherry Turkle, I believe.
Jann
In a message dated 10/20/2012 12:59:53 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
del(a)hypnocenter.com writes:
I am overwhelmed by that fantastic and profound essay. I'd love to add it
to the articles on my web site if someone points the way to the author.
Del
1
0
Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effects of new tech...
by LAURELCG@aol.com 20 Oct '12
by LAURELCG@aol.com 20 Oct '12
20 Oct '12
It's Sherry Turkle, I believe.
Jann
In a message dated 10/20/2012 12:59:53 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
del(a)hypnocenter.com writes:
I am overwhelmed by that fantastic and profound essay. I’d love to add it
to the articles on my web site if someone points the way to the author.
Del
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.
Del Hunter Morrill, M.S., N.B.C.C.H.
Personal Guide & Hypnotherapist, Teacher, Lecturer
And Author of the GREAT ESCAPES Script Volumes
TRANSITIONS, a Center for Personal Guidance
And home of NEW BEGINNINGS PUBLISHING
3217 North Mason Avenue, Tacoma Washington 98407 USA
Phone (253) 383-5757; _www.hypnocenter.com_ (http://www.hypnocenter.com/)
To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually
thrown out of the nest. (Pema Chodron)
____________________________________
From: oe-bounces(a)lists.wedgeblade.net
[mailto:oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of Shelley Hahn
Sent: Saturday, October 20, 2012 7:39 AM
To: Order Ecumenical Community
Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] some thoughts about the unintended side effects
of new technology
Thanks for sharing this, Paul. Very profound and important.
Shelley
On Thu, Oct 18, 2012 at 4:40 AM, <_PSchrijnen(a)aol.com_
(mailto:PSchrijnen@aol.com) > wrote:
further to our little conversation about the impact of different
technological platforms.......
This TED talk by Sherry Turkle covers the challenge of what the digital
revolution
is doing to our communication, connection and capacity to cause and use
reflection
This is well worth the 19 minutes.
Paul
_www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html)
And here is a transcript:
_Just a moment ago,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#0) _my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#2000) _Her text said,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#6000) _"Mom, you will
rock."_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#8000) _I
love this._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#11000)
_Getting that text_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#13000) _was like getting a hug._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#15000) _And so there you have it._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#17000) _I embody_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#20000) _the central paradox._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#22000) _I'm a
woman_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#24000)
_who loves getting texts_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#26000) _who's going to tell you_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#28000) _that too many of them can be a problem._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#30000)
_Actually that reminder of my daughter_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#33000) _brings me to the beginning of my story._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#36000) _1996,
when I gave my first TEDTalk,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#39000) _Rebecca was five years old_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#43000) _and she was sitting right there_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#45000) _in the
front row._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#47000) _I had just written a book_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#49000) _that celebrated our life on the internet_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#51000) _and I was about
to be on the cover_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#53000) _of Wired magazine._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#56000) _In those heady days,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#58000) _we were experimenting_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#60000) _with chat rooms and
online virtual communities._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#62000) _We were exploring different aspects of ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#65000) _And then
we unplugged._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#69000) _I was excited._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#71000) _And, as a psychologist, what excited me most_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#73000) _was the idea_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#76000) _that we would
use what we learned in the virtual world_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#78000) _about ourselves, about our identity,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#81000) _to live
better lives in the real world._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#84000)
_Now fast-forward to 2012._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#87000) _I'm back here on the TED stage again._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#90000) _My daughter's 20.
She's a college student._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#93000) _She sleeps with her cellphone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#96000) _so do I._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#100000) _And I've just written a new
book,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#102000) _but
this time it's not one_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#105000) _that will get me on the cover_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#108000) _of Wired magazine._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#110000) _So what happened?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#112000) _I'm
still excited by technology,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#115000) _but I believe,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#118000) _and I'm here to make the case,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#120000) _that we're letting
it take us places_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#122000) _that we don't want to go._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#124000)
_Over the past 15 years,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#126000) _I've studied technologies of mobile communication_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#128000) _and I've
interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#131000) _young and old,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#134000) _about their plugged in
lives._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#136000) _And
what I've found_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#138000) _is that our little devices,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#140000) _those little devices in our pockets,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#142000) _are so
psychologically powerful_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#145000) _that they don't only change what we do,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#147000) _they change who we
are._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#151000) _Some
of the things we do now with our devices_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#154000) _are things that, only a few years ago,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#156000) _we
would have found odd_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#159000) _or disturbing,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#161000) _but they've quickly come to seem familiar,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#163000) _just how we do
things._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#166000)
_So just to take some quick examples:_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#168000) _People text or do email_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#171000) _during corporate board
meetings._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#173000) _They text and shop and go on Facebook_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#176000) _during classes, during presentations,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#179000)
_actually during all meetings._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#182000) _People talk to me about the important new skill_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#184000) _of making eye
contact_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#187000)
_while you're texting._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#189000) _(Laughter)_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#191000) _People explain to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#193000) _that it's hard, but that it can be
done._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#195000)
_Parents text and do email_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#198000) _at breakfast and at dinner_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#200000) _while their children complain_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#202000) _about
not having their parents' full attention._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#205000) _But then these same children_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#207000) _deny each other
their full attention._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#209000) _This is a recent shot_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#212000) _of my daughter and her friends_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#214000) _being together_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#217000) _while
not being together._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#219000) _And we even text at funerals._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#222000) _I study this._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#224000) _We remove ourselves_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#226000) _from our
grief or from our revery_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#228000) _and we go into our phones._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#230000)
_Why does this matter?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#233000) _It matters to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#235000) _because I think we're setting ourselves up
for trouble --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#237000) _trouble certainly_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#240000) _in how we relate to each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#242000) _but also trouble_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#244000) _in how we relate
to ourselves_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#246000) _and our capacity for self-reflection._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#249000) _We're getting used to a new way_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#252000) _of
being alone together._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#254000) _People want to be with each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#257000) _but also elsewhere --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#259000) _connected to all
the different places they want to be._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#261000) _People want to customize their lives._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#264000) _They want
to go in and out of all the places they are_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#267000) _because the thing that matters most
to them_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#270000)
_is control over where they put their attention._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#272000) _So you want to go to that
board meeting,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#276000) _but you only want to pay attention_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#279000) _to the bits that interest you._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#281000) _And some
people think that's a good thing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#283000) _But you can end up_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#286000) _hiding from each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#288000) _even as we're all
constantly connected to each other._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#290000)
_A 50-year-old business man_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#293000) _lamented to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#295000) _that he feels he doesn't have colleagues
anymore at work._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#297000) _When he goes to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#300000) _he
doesn't call._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#303000) _And he says he doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#305000) _because, he says,
"They're too busy on their email."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#308000) _But then he stops himself_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#311000) _and he says, "You know, I'm
not telling you the truth._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#313000) _I'm the one who doesn't want to be interrupted._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#315000) _I think I
should want to,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#318000) _but actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#320000)
_Across the generations,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#324000) _I see that people can't get enough of each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#326000) _if and
only if_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#330000)
_they can have each other at a distance,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#332000) _in amounts they can control._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#335000) _I call it the
Goldilocks effect:_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#337000) _not too close, not too far,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#340000) _just right._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#343000) _But what might feel just right_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#345000) _for that
middle-aged executive_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#347000) _can be a problem for an adolescent_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#349000) _who needs to develop
face-to-face relationships._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#351000) _An 18-year-old boy_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#355000) _who uses texting for almost everything_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#357000) _says to me
wistfully,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#360000) _"Someday, someday,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#362000) _but certainly not now,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#365000) _I'd like to learn how to have a
conversation."_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#367000)
_When I ask people_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#371000) _"What's wrong with having a conversation?"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#373000) _People say, "I'll tell
you what's wrong with having a conversation._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#376000) _It takes place in real time_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#380000) _and you
can't control what you're going to say."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#383000) _So that's the bottom line._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#387000) _Texting, email,
posting,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#389000)
_all of these things_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#392000) _let us present the self as we want to be._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#394000) _We get to edit,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#397000) _and that means
we get to delete,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#399000) _and that means we get to retouch,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#402000) _the face, the voice,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#405000) _the flesh, the
body --_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#407000)
_not too little, not too much,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#409000) _just right._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#412000)
_Human relationships_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#414000) _are rich and they're messy_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#416000) _and they're demanding._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#418000) _And we clean them
up with technology._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#420000) _And when we do,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#423000) _one of the things that can happen_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#425000) _is that we sacrifice
conversation_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#427000) _for mere connection._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#429000) _We short-change ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#431000) _And over time,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#434000) _we seem to forget
this,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#436000) _or
we seem to stop caring._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#438000)
_I was caught off guard_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#441000) _when Stephen Colbert_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#445000) _asked me a profound question,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#447000) _a profound
question._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#451000)
_He said, "Don't all those little tweets,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#454000) _don't all those little sips_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#460000) _of online
communication,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#463000) _add up to one big gulp_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#466000) _of real conversation?"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#469000) _My answer was no,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#473000) _they don't add up._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#475000)
_Connecting in sips may work_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#477000) _for gathering discreet bits of information,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#481000) _they may work for
saying, "I'm thinking about you,"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#485000) _or even for saying, "I love you," --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#489000) _I mean, look at how
I felt_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#491000)
_when I got that text from my daughter --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#493000) _but they don't really work_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#496000) _for learning
about each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#498000) _for really coming to know and understand each other._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#500000) _And we use
conversations with each other_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#504000) _to learn how to have conversations_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#508000) _with ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#510000) _So a flight from
conversation_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#512000) _can really matter_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#514000) _because it can compromise_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#516000) _our capacity for self-reflection._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#518000) _For
kids growing up,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#520000) _that skill is the bedrock of development._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#522000)
_Over and over I hear,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#526000) _"I would rather text than talk."_ (http://www.t
ed.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#528000) _And what I'm seeing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#531000) _is that people
get so used to being short-changed_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#533000) _out of real conversation,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#535000) _so used to getting by
with less,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#537000) _that they've become almost willing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#540000) _to dispense with people altogether._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#542000) _So for
example,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#544000)
_many people share with me this wish,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#546000) _that some day a more advanced version of
Siri,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#548000) _the
digital assistant on Apple's iPhone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#551000) _will be more like a best friend,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#554000) _someone who will
listen_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#556000)
_when others won't._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#558000) _I believe this wish_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#560000) _reflects a painful truth_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#562000) _that I've learned in the
past 15 years._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#564000) _That feeling that no one is listening to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#567000) _is very important_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#571000) _in our
relationships with technology._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#573000) _That's why it's so appealing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#575000) _to have a Facebook page_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#577000) _or a Twitter
feed --_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#579000)
_so many automatic listeners._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#581000) _And the feeling that no one is listening to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#584000) _make us
want to spend time_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#587000) _with machines that seem to care about us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#589000)
_We're developing robots,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#592000) _they call them sociable robots,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#594000) _that are specifically
designed to be companions --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#596000) _to the elderly,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#599000) _to our children,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#601000) _to us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#603000) _Have we so lost confidence_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#605000) _that we
will be there for each other?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#608000) _During my research_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#612000) _I worked in nursing homes,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#614000) _and I brought in
these sociable robots_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#616000) _that were designed to give the elderly_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#619000) _the feeling that they
were understood._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#621000) _And one day I came in_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_t
urkle_alone_together.html#624000) _and a woman who had lost a child_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#626000) _was talking to a
robot_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#628000) _in
the shape of a baby seal._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#630000) _It seemed to be looking in her eyes._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#633000) _It seemed to be following
the conversation._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#635000) _It comforted her._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#638000) _And many people found this amazing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#641000)
_But that woman was trying to make sense of her life_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#645000) _with a machine that had no
experience_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#650000) _of the arc of a human life._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#653000) _That robot put on a great show._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#656000) _And we're
vulnerable._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#658000)
_People experience pretend empathy_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#660000) _as though it were the real thing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#663000) _So during that moment_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#666000) _when
that woman_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#670000) _was experiencing that pretend empathy,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#672000) _I was thinking, "That robot can't
empathize._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#675000) _It doesn't face death._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#678000) _It doesn't know life."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#680000)
_And as that woman took comfort_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#682000) _in her robot companion,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#684000) _I didn't find it amazing;_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#686000) _I found
it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#688000) _in my 15 years of work._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#692000) _But when I
stepped back,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#696000) _I felt myself_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#698000) _at the cold, hard center_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#700000) _of a perfect storm._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#703000) _We expect more from
technology_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#705000)
_and less from each other._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#708000) _And I ask myself,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#711000) _"Why have things come to this?"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#713000)
_And I believe it's because_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#716000) _technology appeals to us most_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#718000) _where we are most
vulnerable._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#721000) _And
we are vulnerable._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#723000) _We're lonely,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#725000) _but we're afraid of intimacy._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#727000) _And so from social networks
to sociable robots,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#729000) _we're designing technologies_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#732000) _that will give us the illusion of
companionship_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#734000) _without the demands of friendship._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#737000) _We turn to technology to help us feel
connected_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#739000) _in ways we can comfortably control._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#742000) _But we're not so comfortable._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#745000) _We are not so
much in control._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#747000)
_These days, those phones in our pockets_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#750000) _are changing our minds and hearts_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#753000) _because
they offer us_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#755000) _three gratifying fantasies._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#757000) _One, that we can put our attention_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#759000) _wherever we want
it to be;_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#761000) _two, that we will always be heard;_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#763000) _and three, that we will never have to be
alone._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#766000)
_And that third idea,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#769000) _that we will never have to be alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#771000) _is central to changing
our psyches._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#774000) _Because the moment that people are alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#776000) _even for a few seconds,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#779000) _they become
anxious, they panic, they fidget,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#781000) _they reach for a device._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#784000) _Just think of people at a
checkout line_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#786000) _or at a red light._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#788000) _Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be
solved._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#790000) _And
so people try to solve it by connecting._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#794000) _But here, connection_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#797000) _is more like a symptom
than a cure._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#799000) _It expresses, but it doesn't solve,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#802000) _an underlying problem._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#805000) _But more than a
symptom,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#807000)
_constant connection is changing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#809000) _the way people think of themselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#811000) _It's shaping a new
way of being._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#813000)
_The best way to describe it is,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#816000) _I share therefore I am._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#818000) _We use technology to define
ourselves_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#821000) _by sharing our thoughts and feelings_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#824000) _even as we're having them._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#826000) _So before it
was:_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#828000) _I
have a feeling,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#830000) _I want to make a call._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#832000) _Now it's: I want to have a feeling,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#834000) _I need to send a
text._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#837000)
_The problem with this new regime_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#839000) _of "I share therefore I am"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#842000) _is that, if we don't have
connection,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#844000) _we don't feel like ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#846000) _We almost don't feel ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#848000) _So what do we
do? We connect more and more._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#850000) _But in the process,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#853000) _we set ourselves up to be isolated._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#855000)
_How do you get from connection to isolation?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#858000) _You end up isolated_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#862000) _if you don't
cultivate the capacity for solitude,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#864000) _the ability to be separate,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#866000) _to gather yourself._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#869000) _Solitude is
where you find yourself_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#871000) _so that you can reach out to other people_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#874000) _and form real
attachments._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#876000)
_When we don't have the capacity for solitude,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#879000) _we turn to other people in order
to feel less anxious_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#882000) _or in order to feel alive._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#885000) _When this happens,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#887000) _we're not able to
appreciate who they are._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#889000) _It's as though we're using them_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#892000) _as spare parts_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#894000) _to support our fragile
sense of self._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#896000) _We slip into thinking that always being connected_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#899000) _is going to make us
feel less alone._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#902000) _But we're at risk,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#906000) _because actually it's the opposite that's true._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#908000) _If we're
not able to be alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#911000) _we're going to be more lonely._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#913000) _And if we don't teach our children
to be alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#915000) _they're only going to know_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#918000) _how to be lonely._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#920000)
_When I spoke at TED in 1996,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#922000) _reporting on my studies_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#925000) _of the early virtual
communities,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#927000) _I
said, "Those who make the most_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#929000) _of their lives on the screen_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#932000) _come to it in a spirit of
self-reflection."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#934000) _And that's what I'm calling for here, now:_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#937000) _reflection and, more than
that, a conversation_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#940000) _about where our current use of technology_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#943000) _may be taking us,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#946000) _what it
might be costing us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#948000) _We're smitten with technology._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#950000) _And we're afraid, like young
lovers,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#953000)
_that too much talking might spoil the romance._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#956000) _But it's time to talk._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#959000) _We grew up with
digital technology_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#961000) _and so we see it as all grown up._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#964000) _But it's not, it's early days._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#966000) _There's
plenty of time_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#969000) _for us to reconsider how we use it,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#971000) _how we build it._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#973000) _I'm not suggesting_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#975000) _that we
turn away from our devices,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#977000) _just that we develop a more self-aware relationship_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#979000) _with
them, with each other_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#982000) _and with ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#984000)
_I see some first steps._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#987000) _Start thinking of solitude_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#989000) _as a good thing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#991000) _Make room for it._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#993000) _Find
ways to demonstrate this_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#995000) _as a value to your children._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#998000) _Create sacred spaces at home --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1000000) _the
kitchen, the dining room --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1002000) _and reclaim them for conversation._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1004000) _Do the same thing at
work._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1007000) _At
work, we're so busy communicating_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1009000) _that we often don't have time to think,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1011000) _we don't
have time to talk,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1014000) _about the things that really matter._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1017000) _Change that._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1019000) _Most important, we
all really need to listen to each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1021000) _including to the boring bits._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1025000) _Because it's
when we stumble_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1029000) _or hesitate or lose our words_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1031000) _that we reveal ourselves to each
other._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1034000)
_Technology is making a bid_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1038000) _to redefine human connection --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1041000) _how we care for each
other,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1043000)
_how we care for ourselves --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1045000) _but it's also giving us the opportunity_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1047000) _to affirm our
values_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1049000)
_and our direction._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1051000) _I'm optimistic._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1053000) _We have everything we need to start._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1055000) _We have each
other._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1058000)
_And we have the greatest chance of success_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1060000) _if we recognize our vulnerability._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1063000) _That
we listen_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1066000) _when technology says_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1068000) _it will take something complicated_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1070000) _and promises something
simpler._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1073000)
_So in my work,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1076000) _I hear that life is hard,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1078000) _relationships are filled with risk._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1081000) _And then
there's technology --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1083000) _simpler, hopeful,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1085000) _optimistic, ever-young._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1087000) _It's like calling in the
cavalry._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1090000) _An ad campaign promises_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1092000) _that online and with avatars,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1094000) _you can "Finally, love
your friends_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1096000) _love your body, love your life,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1100000) _online and with avatars."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1103000) _We're drawn to
virtual romance,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1106000) _to computer games that seem like worlds,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1108000) _to the idea that robots,
robots,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1111000)
_will someday be our true companions._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1115000) _We spend an evening on the social network_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1118000)
_instead of going to the pub with friends._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1121000)
_But our fantasies of substitution_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1124000) _have cost us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1126000) _Now we all need to focus_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1129000) _on the many,
many ways_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1132000) _technology can lead us back_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1134000) _to our real lives, our own bodies,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1136000) _our own
communities,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1139000)
_our own politics,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1141000) _our own planet._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1143000) _They need us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1145000) _Let's talk about_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1147000) _how we can use digital
technology,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1149000) _the technology of our dreams,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1152000) _to make this life_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1155000) _the life we can love._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1157000)
_Thank you._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1159000)
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20 Oct '12
further to our little conversation about the impact of different
technological platforms.......
This TED talk by Sherry Turkle covers the challenge of what the digital re
volution
is doing to our communication, connection and capacity to cause and use
reflection
This is well worth the 19 minutes.
Paul
_www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html)
And here is a transcript:
_Just a moment ago,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#0) _my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#2000) _Her text said,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#6000) _"Mom, you will
rock."_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#8000) _I
love this._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#11000)
_Getting that text_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#13000) _was like getting a hug._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#15000) _And so there you have it._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#17000) _I embody_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#20000) _the central paradox._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#22000) _I'm a
woman_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#24000)
_who loves getting texts_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#26000) _who's going to tell you_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#28000) _that too many of them can be a problem._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#30000)
_Actually that reminder of my daughter_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#33000) _brings me to the beginning of my story._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#36000) _1996,
when I gave my first TEDTalk,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#39000) _Rebecca was five years old_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#43000) _and she was sitting right there_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#45000) _in the
front row._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#47000) _I had just written a book_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#49000) _that celebrated our life on the internet_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#51000) _and I was about
to be on the cover_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#53000) _of Wired magazine._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#56000) _In those heady days,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#58000) _we were experimenting_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#60000) _with chat rooms and
online virtual communities._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#62000) _We were exploring different aspects of ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#65000) _And then
we unplugged._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#69000) _I was excited._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#71000) _And, as a psychologist, what excited me most_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#73000) _was the idea_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#76000) _that we would
use what we learned in the virtual world_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#78000) _about ourselves, about our identity,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#81000) _to live
better lives in the real world._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#84000)
_Now fast-forward to 2012._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#87000) _I'm back here on the TED stage again._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#90000) _My daughter's 20.
She's a college student._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#93000) _She sleeps with her cellphone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#96000) _so do I._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#100000) _And I've just written a new
book,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#102000) _but
this time it's not one_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#105000) _that will get me on the cover_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#108000) _of Wired magazine._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#110000) _So what happened?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#112000) _I'm
still excited by technology,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#115000) _but I believe,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#118000) _and I'm here to make the case,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#120000) _that we're letting
it take us places_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#122000) _that we don't want to go._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#124000)
_Over the past 15 years,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#126000) _I've studied technologies of mobile communication_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#128000) _and I've
interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#131000) _young and old,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#134000) _about their plugged in
lives._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#136000) _And
what I've found_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#138000) _is that our little devices,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#140000) _those little devices in our pockets,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#142000) _are so
psychologically powerful_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#145000) _that they don't only change what we do,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#147000) _they change who we
are._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#151000) _Some
of the things we do now with our devices_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#154000) _are things that, only a few years ago,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#156000) _we
would have found odd_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#159000) _or disturbing,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#161000) _but they've quickly come to seem familiar,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#163000) _just how we do
things._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#166000)
_So just to take some quick examples:_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#168000) _People text or do email_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#171000) _during corporate board
meetings._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#173000) _They text and shop and go on Facebook_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#176000) _during classes, during presentations,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#179000)
_actually during all meetings._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#182000) _People talk to me about the important new skill_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#184000) _of making eye
contact_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#187000)
_while you're texting._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#189000) _(Laughter)_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#191000) _People explain to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#193000) _that it's hard, but that it can be
done._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#195000)
_Parents text and do email_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#198000) _at breakfast and at dinner_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#200000) _while their children complain_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#202000) _about
not having their parents' full attention._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#205000) _But then these same children_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#207000) _deny each other
their full attention._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#209000) _This is a recent shot_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#212000) _of my daughter and her friends_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#214000) _being together_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#217000) _while
not being together._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#219000) _And we even text at funerals._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#222000) _I study this._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#224000) _We remove ourselves_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#226000) _from our
grief or from our revery_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#228000) _and we go into our phones._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#230000)
_Why does this matter?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#233000) _It matters to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#235000) _because I think we're setting ourselves up
for trouble --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#237000) _trouble certainly_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#240000) _in how we relate to each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#242000) _but also trouble_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#244000) _in how we relate
to ourselves_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#246000) _and our capacity for self-reflection._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#249000) _We're getting used to a new way_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#252000) _of
being alone together._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#254000) _People want to be with each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#257000) _but also elsewhere --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#259000) _connected to all
the different places they want to be._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#261000) _People want to customize their lives._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#264000) _They want
to go in and out of all the places they are_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#267000) _because the thing that matters most
to them_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#270000)
_is control over where they put their attention._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#272000) _So you want to go to that
board meeting,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#276000) _but you only want to pay attention_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#279000) _to the bits that interest you._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#281000) _And some
people think that's a good thing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#283000) _But you can end up_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#286000) _hiding from each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#288000) _even as we're all
constantly connected to each other._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#290000)
_A 50-year-old business man_ (http://w
ww.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#293000) _lamented to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#295000) _that he feels he doesn't have colleagues
anymore at work._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#297000) _When he goes to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#300000) _he
doesn't call._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#303000)
_And he says he doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#305000) _because, he says,
"They're too busy on their email."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#308000) _But then he stops himself_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#311000) _and he says, "You know, I'm
not telling you the truth._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#313000) _I'm the one who doesn't want to be interrupted._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#315000) _I think I
should want to,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#318000) _but actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#320000)
_Across the generations,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#324000) _I see that people can't get enough of each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#326000) _if and
only if_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#330000)
_they can have each other at a distance,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#332000) _in amounts they can control._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#335000) _I call it the
Goldilocks effect:_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#337000) _not too close, not too far,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#340000) _just right._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#343000) _But what might feel just right_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#345000) _for that
middle-aged executive_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#347000) _can be a problem for an adolescent_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#349000) _who needs to develop
face-to-face relationships._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#351000) _An 18-year-old boy_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#355000) _who uses texting for almost everything_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#357000) _says to me
wistfully,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#360000) _"Someday, someday,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#362000) _but certainly not now,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#365000) _I'd like to learn how to have a
conversation."_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#367000)
_When I ask people_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#371000) _"What's wrong with having a conversation?"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#373000) _People say, "I'll tell
you what's wrong with having a conversation._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#376000) _It takes place in real time_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#380000) _and you
can't control what you're going to say."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#383000) _So that's the bottom line._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#387000) _Texting, email,
posting,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#389000)
_all of these things_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#392000) _let us present the self as we want to be._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#394000) _We get to edit,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#397000) _and that means
we get to delete,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#399000) _and that means we get to retouch,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#402000) _the face, the voice,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#405000) _the flesh, the
body --_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#407000)
_not too little, not too much,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#409000) _just right._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#412000)
_Human relationships_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#414000) _are rich and they're messy_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#416000) _and they're demanding._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#418000) _And we clean them
up with technology._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#420000) _And when we do,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#423000) _one of the things that can happen_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#425000) _is that we sacrifice
conversation_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#427000) _for mere connection._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#429000) _We short-change ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#431000) _And over time,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#434000) _we seem to forget
this,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#436000) _or
we seem to stop caring._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#438000)
_I was caught off guard_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#441000) _when Stephen Colbert_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#445000) _asked me a profound question,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#447000) _a profound
question._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#451000)
_He said, "Don't all those little tweets,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#454000) _don't all those little sips_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#460000) _of online
communication,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#463000) _add up to one big gulp_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#466000) _of real conversation?"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#469000) _My answer was no,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#473000) _they don't add up._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#475000)
_Connecting in sips may work_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#477000) _for gathering discreet bits of information,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#481000) _they may work for
saying, "I'm thinking about you,"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#485000) _or even for saying, "I love you," --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#489000) _I mean, look at how
I felt_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#491000)
_when I got that text from my daughter --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#493000) _but they don't really work_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#496000) _for learning
about each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#498000) _for really coming to know and understand each other._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#500000) _And we use
conversations with each other_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#504000) _to learn how to have conversations_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#508000) _with ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#510000) _So a flight from
conversation_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#512000) _can really matter_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#514000) _because it can compromise_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#516000) _our capacity for self-reflection._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#518000) _For
kids growing up,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#520000) _that skill is the bedrock of development._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#522000)
_Over and over I hear,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#526000) _"I would rather text than talk."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#528000) _And what I'm seeing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#531000) _is that people
get so used to being short-changed_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#533000) _out of real conversation,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#535000) _so used to getting by
with less,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#537000) _that they've become almost willing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#540000) _to dispense with people altogether._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#542000) _So for
example,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#544000)
_many people share with me this wish,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#546000) _that some day a more advanced version of
Siri,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#548000) _the
digital assistant on Apple's iPhone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#551000) _will be more like a best friend,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#554000) _someone who will
listen_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#556000)
_when others won't._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#558000) _I believe this wish_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#560000) _reflects a painful truth_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#562000) _that I've learned in the
past 15 years._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#564000) _That feeling that no one is listening to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#567000) _is very important_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#571000) _in our
relationships with technology._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#573000) _That's why it's so appealing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#575000) _to have a Facebook page_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#577000) _or a Twitter
feed --_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#579000)
_so many automatic listeners._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#581000) _And the feeling that no one is listening to me_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#584000) _make us
want to spend time_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#587000) _with machines that seem to care about us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#589000)
_We're developing robots,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#592000) _they call them sociable robots,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#594000) _that are specifically
designed to be companions --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#596000) _to the elderly,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#599000) _to our children,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#601000) _to us._ (http:
//www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#603000) _Have we so lost confidence_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#605000) _that we
will be there for each other?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#608000) _During my research_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#612000) _I worked in nursing homes,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#614000) _and I brought in
these sociable robots_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#616000) _that were designed to give the elderly_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#619000) _the feeling that they
were understood._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#621000) _And one day I came in_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#624000) _and a woman who had lost a child_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#626000) _was talking to a
robot_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#628000) _in
the shape of a baby seal._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#630000) _It seemed to be looking in her eyes._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#633000) _It seemed to be following
the conversation._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#635000) _It comforted her._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#638000) _And many people found this amazing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#641000)
_But that woman was trying to make sense of her life_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#645000) _with a machine that had no
experience_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#650000) _of the arc of a human life._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#653000) _That robot put on a great show._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#656000) _And we're
vulnerable._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#658000)
_People experience pretend empathy_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#660000) _as though it were the real thing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#663000) _So during that moment_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#666000) _when
that woman_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#670000) _was experiencing that pretend empathy,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#672000) _I was thinking, "That robot can't
empathize._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#675000) _It doesn't face death._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#678000) _It doesn't know life."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#680000)
_And as that woman took comfort_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#682000) _in her robot companion,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#684000) _I didn't find it amazing;_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#686000) _I found
it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#688000) _in my 15 years of work._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#692000) _But when I
stepped back,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#696000) _I felt myself_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#698000) _at the cold, hard center_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#700000) _of a perfect storm._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#703000) _We expect more from
technology_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#705000)
_and less from each other._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#708000) _And I ask myself,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#711000) _"Why have things come to this?"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#713000)
_And I believe it's because_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#716000) _technology appeals to us most_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#718000) _where we are most
vulnerable._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#721000) _And
we are vulnerable._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#723000) _We're lonely,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#725000) _but we're afraid of intimacy._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#727000) _And so from social networks
to sociable robots,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#729000) _we're designing technologies_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#732000) _that will give us the illusion of
companionship_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#734000) _without the demands of friendship._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#737000) _We turn to technology to help us feel
connected_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#739000) _in ways we can comfortably control._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#742000) _But we're not so comfortable._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#745000) _We are not so
much in control._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#747000)
_These days, those phones in our pockets_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#750000) _are changing our minds and hearts_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#753000) _because
they offer us_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#755000) _three gratifying fantasies._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#757000) _One, that we can put our attention_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#759000) _wherever we want
it to be;_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#761000) _two, that we will always be heard;_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#763000) _and three, that we will never have to be
alone._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#766000)
_And that third idea,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#769000) _that we will never have to be alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#771000) _is central to changing
our psyches._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#774000) _Because the moment that people are alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#776000) _even for a few seconds,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#779000) _they become
anxious, they panic, they fidget,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#781000) _they reach for a device._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#784000) _Just think of people at a
checkout line_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#786000) _or at a red light._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#788000) _Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be
solved._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#790000) _And
so people try to solve it by connecting._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#794000) _But here, connection_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#797000) _is more like a symptom
than a cure._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#799000) _It expresses, but it doesn't solve,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#802000) _an underlying problem._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#805000) _But more than a
symptom,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#807000)
_constant connection is changing_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#809000) _the way people think of themselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#811000) _It's shaping a new
way of being._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#813000)
_The best way to describe it is,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#816000) _I share therefore I am._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#818000) _We use technology to define
ourselves_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#821000) _by sharing our thoughts and feelings_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#824000) _even as we're having them._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#826000) _So before it
was:_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#828000) _I
have a feeling,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#830000) _I want to make a call._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#832000) _Now it's: I want to have a feeling,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#834000) _I need to send a
text._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#837000)
_The problem with this new regime_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#839000) _of "I share therefore I am"_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#842000) _is that, if we don't have
connection,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#844000) _we don't feel like ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#846000) _We almost don't feel ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#848000) _So what do we
do? We connect more and more._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#850000) _But in the process,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#853000) _we set ourselves up to be isolated._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#855000)
_How do you get from connection to isolation?_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#858000) _You end up isolated_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#862000) _if you don't
cultivate the capacity for solitude,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#864000) _the ability to be separate,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#866000) _to gather yourself._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#869000) _Solitude is
where you find yourself_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#871000) _so that you can reach out to other people_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#874000) _and form real
attachments._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#876000)
_When we don't have the capacity for solitude,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#879000) _we turn to other people in order
to feel less anxious_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#882000) _or in order to feel alive._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#885000) _When this happens,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#887000) _we're not able to
appreciate who they are._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#889000) _It's as though we're using them_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#892000) _as spare parts_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#894000) _to support our fragile
sense of self._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#896000) _We slip into thinking that always being connected_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#899000) _is going to make us
feel less alone._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#902000) _But we're at risk,_ (http://w
ww.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#906000) _because actually it's the opposite that's true._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#908000) _If we're
not able to be alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#911000) _we're going to be more lonely._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#913000) _And if we don't teach our children
to be alone,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#915000) _they're only going to know_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#918000) _how to be lonely._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#920000)
_When I spoke at TED in 1996,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#922000) _reporting on my studies_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#925000) _of the early virtual
communities,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#927000) _I
said, "Those who make the most_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#929000) _of their lives on the screen_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#932000) _come to it in a spirit of
self-reflection."_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#934000) _And that's what I'm calling for here, now:_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#937000) _reflection and, more than
that, a conversation_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#940000) _about where our current use of technology_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#943000) _may be taking us,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#946000) _what it
might be costing us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#948000) _We're smitten with technology._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#950000) _And we're afraid, like young
lovers,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#953000)
_that too much talking might spoil the romance._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#956000) _But it's time to talk._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#959000) _We grew up with
digital technology_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#961000) _and so we see it as all grown up._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#964000) _But it's not, it's early days._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#966000) _There's
plenty of time_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#969000) _for us to reconsider how we use it,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#971000) _how we build it._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#973000) _I'm not suggesting_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#975000) _that we
turn away from our devices,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#977000) _just that we develop a more self-aware relationship_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#979000) _with
them, with each other_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#982000) _and with ourselves._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#984000)
_I see some first steps._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#987000) _Start thinking of solitude_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#989000) _as a good thing._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#991000) _Make room for it._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#993000) _Find
ways to demonstrate this_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#995000) _as a value to your children._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#998000) _Create sacred spaces at home --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1000000) _the
kitchen, the dining room --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1002000) _and reclaim them for conversation._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1004000) _Do the same thing at
work._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1007000) _At
work, we're so busy communicating_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1009000) _that we often don't have time to think,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1011000) _we don't
have time to talk,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1014000) _about the things that really matter._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1017000) _Change that._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1019000) _Most important, we
all really need to listen to each other,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1021000) _including to the boring bits._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1025000) _Because it's
when we stumble_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1029000) _or hesitate or lose our words_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1031000) _that we reveal ourselves to each
other._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1034000)
_Technology is making a bid_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1038000) _to redefine human connection --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1041000) _how we care for each
other,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1043000)
_how we care for ourselves --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1045000) _but it's also giving us the opportunity_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1047000) _to affirm our
values_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1049000)
_and our direction._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1051000) _I'm optimistic._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1053000) _We have everything we need to start._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1055000) _We have each
other._ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1058000)
_And we have the greatest chance of success_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1060000) _if we recognize our vulnerability._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1063000) _That
we listen_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1066000) _when technology says_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1068000) _it will take something complicated_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1070000) _and promises something
simpler._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1073000)
_So in my work,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1076000) _I hear that life is hard,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1078000) _relationships are filled with risk._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1081000) _And then
there's technology --_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1083000) _simpler, hopeful,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1085000) _optimistic, ever-young._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1087000) _It's like calling in the
cavalry._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1090000) _An ad campaign promises_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1092000) _that online and with avatars,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1094000) _you can "Finally, love
your friends_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1096000) _love your body, love your life,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1100000) _online and with avatars."_ (htt
p://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1103000) _We're drawn to
virtual romance,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1106000) _to computer games that seem like worlds,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1108000) _to the idea that robots,
robots,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1111000)
_will someday be our true companions._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1115000) _We spend an evening on the social network_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1118000)
_instead of going to the pub with friends._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1121000)
_But our fantasies of substitution_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1124000) _have cost us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1126000) _Now we all need to focus_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1129000) _on the many,
many ways_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1132000) _technology can lead us back_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1134000) _to our real lives, our own bodies,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1136000) _our own
communities,_ (http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1139000)
_our own politics,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1141000) _our own planet._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1143000) _They need us._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1145000) _Let's talk about_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1147000) _how we can use digital
technology,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1149000) _the technology of our dreams,_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1152000) _to make this life_
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1155000) _the life we can love._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1157000)
_Thank you._
(http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1159000)
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Dear Colleagues
This is the 50th year of ICA and the 35th of ICAI. Over the next few
months we will be looking at the next 50 as local ICA's and as ICA
International.
I think all have been invited but I wanted to make sure. The conference
is scheduled Oct 29 - Nov 2 followed by and ICA Gathering in Nov 3-4
The context for each event is below
With respect, Larry
*ICAI global conference in Nepal context* for those interested.
Since 1984, the Institute of Cultural Affairs International has hosted
eight international conferences concerned with the human factor in
development and re-emergence of civil society. These conferences were
highly participatory and focused on practical sharing of approaches that
work. Interchange, dialogue and designing creative responses to
particular areas of concern in society is the aim of all ICA conferences.
Overarching Focus Question for this conference: What are the ideas
(models, practices, images, frameworks, strategies, etc.) for human
emergence that lead to a world that works?
Focus areas are:
Growing a New Sense of Leadership
Building a Viable Future for Planet
Building Strategies for Comprehensive Development
Resourcing Human Development
Peace Building and Good Governance
Reshaping Education for the 21st Century
We intend through collective exploration to discover and catalyze
approaches that work and to build personal and collaborative commitment
to act beneficially on behalf of the whole.
This conference will go on virtually for at least 6 months but will be
physically grounded in Kathmandu Oct 29-Nov 2. All are welcome
http://www.virtual.ica-nepal.org/ or
http://conference.ica-nepal.org/
*ICA Gathering*
context: This is intended as a deliberative event for the ICA's and
colleagues present to deliberate on the conference results and other
topics. This is not a decision making General Assembly. Our general
Assembly will be virtual on December 14.
Any colleague in the world is invited to participate and share
questions, topics or input.
With respect, Larry
--
Lawrence Philbrook, Certified ToP Facilitator
Director, Institute of Cultural Affairs Taiwan
www.icatw.com Tel: 8862-2871-3150 Fax: 8862-2871-2870
Skype: icalarry
President ICA International/ Member Global Leadership Team
ICAI Office c/o ICA Canada, 655 Queen Street East
Toronto, ON. M4M 1G4 Canada
www.ica-international.org
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*MEMORIAL GIFTS FOR CAROL PIERCE*
Carol Pierce's memorial service will be Saturday, October 20, 2012. Many of
you will not be able to attend because of distance or schedule. But we can
all remember her skills, humor and strength. People have inquired about how
they might participate.
Gifts in memory of Carol Pierce are a way to honor her life, as well as the
people she taught, touched, supported, motivated and sustained.
If you wish to make such a contribution, you may do so either on-line or
via postal mail. Her family will be informed of your memorial gift. The
contribution is tax deductible.
· Online – www.ica-usa.org/donate
· Postal mail with check
o ICA-USA (with memo line: “in memory of Carol Pierce”.)
o Attn: Development Office
o 4750 Sheridan Rd.
o Chicago, Illinois 60640
Such a gift would reflect on her life of service and continue her tradition
of opening opportunities for others. She would be so pleased.
Ruth
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Dear Colleagues,
On behalf of the crew working on the archives, we'd like you to be aware of the current health challenges of Steve Harrington, one of the stalwarts of our work.
Steve has a chronic lung condition, tentatively named ideopathic pulmonary fibrosis, which is scaring in the lung tissue with no known cause. With no clear cause, there is no treatment. There are several possible causes two are treatable one isn't, except with a lung transplant.
Thoratic surgery will be next Wednesday afternoon in Regions Hospital They are going to cut into his chest and lungs to take some tissue samples for a biopsy. There are 3 people doing the diagnosis of the biopsy one at Regions and 2 at Mayo Clinic. The surgery take about 40 minutes and will involve a 4 day hospital stay and 2 weeks recovery with chest tubes. He is on the list for, perhaps, a lung replacement, if there is no treatment.
Steve will be recovering at his sister's for about 2 weeks and he hope to return to Costa Rica in November with a new treatment regimen and a really fast internet connection.
Our prayers are offered for his quick recovery and return to full service. Those of us working on the archives are so grateful for his passion and creativity for our work.
Jack Gilles
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Thanks for delivering that good news Lee! Prayers continue for Dan as well as Pat.
------Original Message------
From: Lee Early
Sender: oe-bounces(a)lists.wedgeblade.net
To: OE: Dialogue
To: Order Ecumenical Community
Cc: ICA Dialogue Dialogue
ReplyTo: Order Ecumenical Community
Subject: [Oe List ...] Dan Tuecke
Sent: Oct 18, 2012 2:23 PM
I talked with Pat a little after noon. I'm sure she will update everyone later but, she has her hands full at the moment.
Dan is in ICU. The surgery was successful. His spine is not lined up - - as in normal. He lost some blood. No surprise there. Pat says they pumped in some and he seems to have a full tank again. He is not comfortable but, expects to be moved our of ICU later this evening.
Getting off the morphine will now be a challenge.
Thanks,
Lee
Lee Early
19230 Forest Park Dr. NE, A102
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155
Home: (206) 922-3182
Lee's mobile: (425) 212-7997
lees.mail(a)comcast.net
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Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
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1
Just saw on facebook that it's Pat's birthday today.
Jann
In a message dated 10/18/2012 7:36:21 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
elliestock(a)aol.com writes:
Thanks for letting us know how Dan is doing. We continue to keep Dan and
Pat in prayer.
Ellie
-----Original Message-----
From: Lee Early <_lees.mail(a)comcast.net_ (mailto:lees.mail@comcast.net) >
To: OE: Dialogue <_OE(a)topica.com_ (mailto:OE@topica.com) >; Order
Ecumenical Community <_oe(a)lists.wedgeblade.net_ (mailto:oe@lists.wedgeblade.net) >
Cc: ICA Dialogue Dialogue <_ica-dialogue(a)igc.topica.com_
(mailto:ica-dialogue@igc.topica.com) >
Sent: Thu, Oct 18, 2012 12:37 pm
Subject: [Oe List ...] Dan Tuecke
I talked with Pat a little after noon. I'm sure she will update everyone
later but, she has her hands full at the moment.
Dan is in ICU. The surgery was successful. His spine is not lined up - -
as in
normal. He lost some blood. No surprise there. Pat says they pumped in
some
and he seems to have a full tank again. He is not comfortable but,
expects to
be moved our of ICU later this evening.
Getting off the morphine will now be a challenge.
Thanks,
Lee
Lee Early
19230 Forest Park Dr. NE, A102
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155
Home: (206) 922-3182
Lee's mobile: (425) 212-7997
_lees.mail(a)comcast.net_ (mailto:lees.mail@comcast.net)
_______________________________________________
OE mailing list
_OE(a)lists.wedgeblade.net_ (mailto:OE@lists.wedgeblade.net)
_http://lists.wedgeblade.net/listinfo.cgi/oe-wedgeblade.net_
(http://lists.wedgeblade.net/listinfo.cgi/oe-wedgeblade.net)
_______________________________________________
OE mailing list
_OE(a)lists.wedgeblade.net_ (mailto:OE@lists.wedgeblade.net)
_http://lists.wedgeblade.net/listinfo.cgi/oe-wedgeblade.net_
(http://lists.wedgeblade.net/listinfo.cgi/oe-wedgeblade.net)
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