I'm not sure this qualifies as an "oldie" but the men in our congregation seemed to appreciate it. Two weeks ago a freak windstorm blew over the old tree in our front yard which crashed into the front of our house. Fox News was on hand to interview me. Play this out to its conclusion: http://www.fox11online.com/dpp/weather/parched-northeast-wisconsin-sees-some... Jim Baumbach On 7/24/2012 9:10 AM, jlepps@pc.jaring.my wrote:
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------------- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM .. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
At 07:42 AM 7/24/2012, you wrote:
Why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
(Ans: So it could hide in cherry trees! ((Did you ever see and elephant in a cherry tree?)))
Jim Baumbach
On 7/24/2012 8:35 AM, James Wiegel wrote:
Why did the cat cross the road?
He was after the chicken
Jim Wiegel
"The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is hard to verify their authenticity." Abraham Lincoln
401 North Beverly Way, Tolleson, Arizona 85353-2401 +1 623-363-3277 skype: jfredwiegel jfwiegel@yahoo.com <mailto:jfwiegel@yahoo.com> www.partnersinparticipation.com <http://www.partnersinparticipation.com/>
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--- On *Tue, 7/24/12, Herman Greene /<hfgreene@mindspring.com>/ <mailto:hfgreene@mindspring.com>* wrote:
From: Herman Greene <hfgreene@mindspring.com> <mailto:hfgreene@mindspring.com> Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] National holiday Tuesday July 24 To: "'Order Ecumenical Community'" <oe@lists.wedgeblade.net> <mailto:oe@lists.wedgeblade.net> Date: Tuesday, July 24, 2012, 5:35 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(Answer: To get to the other side.)
-----Original Message----- From: oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net </mc/compose?to=oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.htm> [mailto:oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net <mailto:oe-bounces@lists.wedgeblade.net>] On Behalf Of James Wiegel Sent: Monday, July 23, 2012 8:54 PM To: Order Ecumenical Community Cc: Colleague Dialogue Subject: [Oe List ...] National holiday Tuesday July 24
National Tell an Old Joke day -- all day.
Jim Wiegel Jfwiegel@yahoo.com </mc/compose?to=Jfwiegel@yahoo.htm>
"One cannot live in the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning; for what was great in the morning will be of little importance in the evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening have become a lie." - Carl Jung
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