[Dialogue] Ruth Carter

[jbames10 at aol.com]

Alice,
Your story got me going.  Thanks to you.  I still feel such deep sadness when I think of Ruth not being on the porch to greet us.

I did get an email about your plans to take Joe to the service and out to dinner for his birthday but  cannot find it right now.  We do want to be with you so let's work it out.  We arrive around 5:00 pm Thur and plan to take the bus to 4750 to spend the night.  We fly home Mon around noon.   We'll go to the service with some of the folks there.  And then?    Where do you plan to eat and when?   Let us know and we will figure out what we need to do....  Stay in a nearby motel, go back to 4750 or whatever.

Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you.
      Jan


-----Original Message-----
From: ALICE M BAUMBACH <abaumbach at new.rr.com>
To: Colleague Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>
Sent: Sun, Aug 4, 2013 7:16 pm
Subject: Re: [Dialogue] Ruth Carter


Thank you Jan. I was hoping you would put this story in writing. Did you get my email about Thursday night? Alice

jbames10 at aol.com wrote:

The  last time Bud and I visited Ruth Carter was just over a year ago.  She  was standing on her porch waiting for us.  A better welcome there could  never be. 
 
 Of late she seemed to struggle with  depression so I made it a practice to call her from time to time.  It was  always the same; she answered with a weak voice and ended with a "smile" and  some renewed energy.  I talked to her 10 days or so before she died.   In an effort to help her reconnect  to one of her energy sources I  asked her if she ever went to the preschool.  She said, "Not much but they  come to me.   They stand on the sidewalk and call 'Ms Carter, Ms  Carter, Ms. Carter.  We love you".  She said she would go out on her  porch and wave and talk to them.   Neither the children or staff  forgot her!  Nor did we! 
 
 And truthfully that is where she died  according to Regina; on her beloved front porch.  When Regina's son came  home from baseball or basketball practice on the 25th he found her on the porch  and couldn't get her to move.  He called his mom and she  came.  They called the paramedics who asked Regina what she wanted them to  do.  She said "Save my Mama.  Save my Mama".  They  tried.!  On the way to Mt. Sinai Hospital they did get a heartbeat and  the hospital kept her on life-support for 3 days or so.  Her kids and  grandkids filled the room during that time  till they  really got it that she was brain-dead, till they could let her go and asked them to take her off life  support.  
 
As Regina and I visited she said she really died on that porch she loved.  And I say just  as she planned.  She chose not to have a stent or pacemaker and knew the  consequences as did they all.  She waved to us on that porch.  She  waved to the 5th City Preschool children and staff on that porch, she stayed connected to the community on that porch and no doubt  waved to the angel of death on that porch.  Free, free, free to  decide.  She knew it and she did.
 
 Not too many days before she sat alone in the preschool  yard.  One of her goodbyes?  I think so.  And on the day she left  she was up and about her house...visiting with Regina, eating lunch, clearing  dishes and wiping the table clean.  When Regina went upstairs to her home  Ruth went out on the front porch to her home.
 
Hear her sing.  See her dance.  As we all rehearsed with one  another.....Free, Free, Free to Decide.
            May it  be so.
                     Jan Ames
 
 
FYI     Ruth's address (and James and Regina also)  3511 W. Van Buren
                                                                                     Chicago, IL 60624
           Denise and Mike are her other 2 children

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