[Dialogue] Ruth Carter

Mon Aug 5 14:40:14 PDT 2013

I think I may have bit off more than we can chew. You get in at 5:00 pm 
on Thursday after traveling. We have been driving 4 hours, etc. I am not 
sure if Jim can even drive that long any more. After two hours at a 
party this weekend he had to go home and his temperature was 101 degrees 
from standing around that long. Given Chicago traffic, etc. I am not 
sure how this would work. My initial response was: OK, we will pick you 
up at the airport, go out to dinner and then drive you to the North 
Side. Then I remembered how far it was back to Naperville. Also, our 
little Honda Fit can hold four adults but there would be five of us. My 
spirit was in the right place, but I forgot about the logistics!  
Anyway, if  you wanted to stay somewhere around Naperville or nearby we 
could probably make it work; I know some of the hotels have airport 
services. But the prices there might be steeper than you had planned. I 
will leave it up to you and Bud, but I want you to know that realism 
needs to play a role here with our aging participants!  Let me know your 
thoughts. Jot down my cell phone number just in case. 920-851-1912.
Alice

> Alice,
> Your story got me going.  Thanks to you.  I still feel such deep 
> sadness when I think of Ruth not being on the porch to greet us.
> I did get an email about your plans to take Joe to the service and out 
> to dinner for his birthday but cannot find it right now.  We do want 
> to be with you so let's work it out.  We arrive around 5:00 pm Thur 
> and plan to take the bus to 4750 to spend the night.  We fly home Mon 
> around noon.   We'll go to the service with some of the folks there.  
> And then?    Where dMy i you plan to eat and when?   Let us know and 
> we will figure out what we need to do.... Stay in a nearby motel, go 
> back to 4750 or whatever.
> Looking forward to hearing from you and seeing you.
>       Jan
> -----Original Message-----20-
> From: ALICE M BAUMBACH <abaumbach at new.rr.com>
> To: Colleague Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>
> Sent: Sun, Aug 4, 2013 7:16 pm
> Subject: Re: [Dialogue] Ruth Carter
>
> Thank you Jan. I was hoping you would put this story in writing. Did 
> you get my email about Thursday night? Alice
>
> jbames10 at aol.com <mailto:jbames10 at aol.com> wrote:
>
> The last time Bud and I visited Ruth Carter was just over a year ago.  
> She was standing on her porch waiting for us.  A better welcome there 
> could never be.
>  Of late she seemed to struggle with depression so I made it a 
> practice to call her from time to time.  It was always the same; she 
> answered with a weak voice and ended with a "smile" and some renewed 
> energy.  I talked to her 10 days or so before she died.  In an effort 
> to help her reconnect  to one of her energy sources I asked her if she 
> ever went to the preschool. She said, "Not much but they come to me. 
> They stand on the sidewalk and call 'Ms Carter, Ms Carter, Ms. 
> Carter.  We love you".  She said she would go out on her porch and 
> wave and talk to them.   Neither the children or staff forgot her!  
> Nor did we!
>  And truthfully that is where she died according to Regina; on her 
> beloved front porch.  When Regina's son came home from baseball or 
> basketball practice on the 25th he found her on the porch and couldn't 
> get her to move.  He called his mom and she came.  They called the 
> paramedics who asked Regina what she wanted them to do.  She said 
> "Save my Mama.  Save my Mama".  They tried.!  On the way to Mt. Sinai 
> Hospital they did get a heartbeat and the hospital kept her on 
> life-support for 3 days or so.  Her kids and grandkids filled the room 
> during that time  till they really got it that she was brain-dead, 
> till they could let her go and asked them to take her off life support.
> As Regina and I visited she said she really died on that porch she 
> loved.  And I say just as she planned.  She chose not to have a stent 
> or pacemaker and knew the consequences as did they all.  She waved to 
> us on that porch.  She waved to the 5th City Preschool children and 
> staff on that porch, she stayed connected to the community on that 
> porch and no doubt waved to the angel of death on that porch.  Free, 
> free, free to decide.  She knew it and she did.
>  Not too many days before she sat alone in the preschool yard.  One of 
> her goodbyes?  I think so.  And on the day she left she was up and 
> about her house...visiting with Regina, eating lunch, clearing dishes 
> and wiping the table clean.  When Regina went upstairs to her home 
> Ruth went out on the front porch to her home.
> Hear her sing.  See her dance.  As we all rehearsed with one 
> another.....Free, Free, Free to Decide.
>             May it be so.
>                     Jan Ames
> FYI     Ruth's address (and James and Regina also)  3511 W. Van Buren
> Chicago, IL 60624
>            Denise and Mike are her other 2 children
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