Bonham’s bonfemme In the historic inauguration of Modi, the newly elected Prime Minister of India, attendedby invited Nawaz Sharif, PM of Pakistan, with Hamid Karzai of Afghanistan and Mahinda Rajapaksa of Sri Lanka, the attempt at bonhomie in the political camaraderie during event was evident. The euphoria was shattered by thenews that a pregnant woman in Lahore was stoned to death by members of her ownfamily for bearing the child of the man she loved rather than kowtow to thepractice of family arranged marriage. Her father arrested for murder was following the “honor killings”conducted by relatives of women as punishment for alleged “adultery or otherillicit sexual behavior,” aka, not following family elders’ lead. I am colleague to a self-consciousgroup within the Christian covenant that tries to overcome the normal patternsof patriarchy deeply embedded in the symbol system of 3,000 years oftradition. Renegades of institutional ritesand rituals, they try to rearticulate previous metaphorical expressions intoexistential language that might resonate on the reality of living in ourtime. Appropriately, the group is calledthe Realistic Living Institute, holding Christian Resurgence Circles in their localsocial net as a formation tactic to promote its understanding and behavior. There is no “bonfemme” in the French language as used in out title. I use it in lieu of “bonhomie” (from bonhomme, good fellow), which means“cheerful friendliness”; a geniality in the sense of, “he exuded good humor andbonhomie”. We often see it used like theword “mankind” and “manpower” for both genders, sticking with the masculineterm. Its insidious subversive qualityof patriarchal superiority is often not appreciated until we refer to a femalehead of a committee as the “chairman”! The man’s liberation movement of myfamiliarity appropriates intense sensuality in instinct, passionate engagementin intuition, comprehensive broadness in both lateral and longitudinal lines ofintelligence, and inclusiveness of corporate intent and behavior in acts anddeeds, qualities normally attributed to the influence of the female of thespecie! In the US, women finally voted in1920. The great lengths women wentthrough to break into restricted areas like journalistic covering of theNormandy landings to the running of the Boston marathon is viewed asheroic. We shall keep quoting the oldChinese saying that “women hold half of the sky” (Nu ren/fu nu neng ding ban bian tian), revived by Mao Zedongduring his Zhongguo watch, not because it accomplished the paradigm shift itwas meant to accomplish, for it didn’t, but the notion that the female of thespecie is a partner to their chosen counterparts highlight the wisdom that aperson is not complete without partnering with someone in a social net. (Partnering has since gone beyond the genderlimits as same-sex marriages are legalized.) Institutions of covenant, as it isbeing reasserted in marriage in all its forms, means a relationship of mutualconsent and trust where the French sense of vivela difference is not just assumed but honored and encouraged. This is most evident at the way we are askedto be sensitive in the use of our best social tool, language. The Ecumenical Institute (EI) ofChicago, and its related institutional offspring hold itself accountable to itsfaithfulness to its own “faith” statements mirrored in the practices of its owninstitutions. It was a hard awakening asit became clear how deeply embedded the assumption of male dominance was in itslanguage in spite of its enlightenment. The Realistic Living Institute, an offshoot of the spirit movement thatEI came to represent, struggles with the same contradiction within its memberseven with the heightened consciousness of its own duplicity, unconsciously asit often comes, in the sad affair. To their credit, the EI folks andtheir extended relations are, at least, conscious of the very contradiction itidentifies as also a part of its own body operation and is working on alternatives. Clearing up the language is just thebeginning; that’s why I was delighted to read of a young High School studentwho started using “ze” to replace the pronouns “he and she,” which I had temporaryslashed with “s/he”. “Ze” is morecreative and innovative! More importantthan retranslating historic sacred writs beyond their authors cultures of patriarchyto the core of experience, is the appropriation of soft technologies and traitsespecially those articulated by the female of the specie. MSNBC TV recently picked up researchthat indicated the casualty difference between hurricanes with feminine andmasculine names showed a higher rate at almost three times in the formeragainst the latter. Why anyone wouldmake this research is anyone’s guess; why MSNBC decided to air the result is,in my view, to cater to a high morning female TV audience! Still, we agree on awakening the femaleaudience to the biases we hold. My point: the female of the specieis still getting a bum steer. Bonfemme is a bombshell I recommend to the“fair thee well” crowd to use. j'aime la vie pinoypanda2031@aol.com yesterday, appreciate; tomorrow, anticipate; today. participate. In all, celebrate!