Beloved Community, All day yesterday, I allowed myself to be in denial of Janice's departure. I never met her in person, but we had been in dialogue since she let us all know of her lymphoma diagnosis on May 11. I went through my e-mail files this morning, looking again at the wonder of her last few weeks. Her birthday greeting to Marge, on June 1, is especially poignant, knowing as we now do, the wonderful gift that went with it: "Dear Marge, When I think of you I think of sparkle, and fun, and always welcoming hospitality. Oh yes - and the most dedicated, determined work ethic when you decide something is necessary! Better not get in your way - people, discouragements, or "that's impossibles"! You have cared for your family with such love and insight - then you have reached out to extend that care to your colleagues and people in the communities you have served. Just a few of the many reasons you inspire us. Happy, happy 85th birthday. Gee, we're glad we have known you! Let's see - at least several hundred people from all around the world would love to be at your celebration. Have a wonderful time. And Paula, thanks for honoring this terrific woman. With much affection, Janice Ulangca" I sent her a copy of my book, and cried this morning as I read her response, written hurriedly amid her still-active life of service, on June 6. "Jann, This is a packed day - routine followup med appt 1:45 - need to organize my list of questions to ask before that. Tonite will do 5-minute intro of honoree for community award - 200 people there - so focus energy there. BUT have to say a quick word that your book is incredibly helpful. Am reading a chapter or 2 a day. We will have a lot to talk about. Your poetry is magnificent!" On July 17, she wrote the following to the listserve: "Where I am these days: In the midst of chemo treatments for lymphoma cancer, energy is only available in small amounts. So it's measured out carefully, for important things. Today I turned 78 - and so after lunch with friends and a long nap, made a careful decision to sample Jack Gilles' account. "Maybe just this part ... And this part ... Hey - can't I invest an hour today?! Wouldn't it be great to do this on my birthday (instead of dishes that wait)?" So I did, and it was great. I was captivated and my own memories, current life, and even new decisions made clearer, out of a richer context. So thank you, Jack. And thank you, Michael May, for all you are doing to illuminate our inner stories about our lives. It is important that encounter with these lives be made available. Janice Ulangca" And that same day she wrote this to me: "Dear Jann, One of these weeks I will call - and set up a time when we can talk. Much to share, I think. I just run out of energy so fast - and every little thing takes some. Which normally I haven't given a thought to. Just know that I have MUCH appreciated your book, and the you revealed therein. Healing things - appts., meds, rests - practical things - bills paid, groceries bought, easy cooking, minimal cleaning done. Staying in contact with local friends/colleagues who want it, give me rides, etc. Then one project I'm keeping rolling - see attached. But am still looking forward much to talking with you. Janice" I'm sorry I didn't save the attachment. It was a church-related project. Perhaps someone else can tell us about it. We both listened to the Shift Network broadcast, "The New Scientific Revolution." Here's our conversation about it: Sent: Saturday, July 20, 2013 4:12 PM Subject: Scientific Revolution session Janice, Did you enjoy this session? I thought it was quite powerful and I may just sign up for the course it was out to sell. I had already signed up for the session when you put it on the listserve, but was gratified that you did. When Ken Wilbur was speaking of Carol Gilligan's level of Universal Care, the image of EI/ICA's poster of the Iron Man with "All the Earth Belongs to All the People" came to mind. It's hard to believe now that we didn't include the biosphere, but I suppose that's the way the unfolding of evolution works. I hope you're feeling well. I'm looking forward to our conversation. Blessings, Jann McGuire In response, she sent her notes on the session, and I made comments on her response in red: In a message dated 7/20/2013 4:50:41 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time, aulangca@stny.rr.com writes: "After some food and rest: Hi Jann, Yes I did enjoy this. I process best when I take notes, so I did get 4 pages. The 7 sessions of Laszlo's course sound good - mind-expanding for sure. Haven't decided yet whether to sign up. Feel I must be careful - many things want/need to do, learn about. Am still scheduled to have treatment related injections through 1st week of Sept. But this is foundational, so maybe ... Images that stick with me: Ervin Laszlo: The universe as a cosmic internet! Connecting everything. (Before the internet, don't think we could have imagined any force/entity connecting everything. But now we take that possibility for granted - global connection instantly among people. Can we expand that to include all? Every part of nature, beings of every size . .. )" I wonder how he spells it. I believe Ken Wilber spells it Kosmos when he's speaking of more-than-physical cosmos. "Duane Elgin: working with Joseph Campbell who saw "a life force, moving through everything" - and Duane mentions David Bohm's phrase "a unified whole in flowing movement." Domination doesn't work - dancing with the force does. (Wow!) The Universe has a moral fabric built into it - toward creativity, caring, connectedness. The Cosmic Internet evokes a Living - not a dead - Universe. We are learning to live in a Living Universe! Will ponder how that is different from living in a world with older images of an active God in our lives. That has been too often a way to ask for special privileges - even to help us dominate." I think I resonated more strongly with Duane Elgin than anyone else today, although they're all great. I love to think of NASA having paid psychics. "Riane's focus on relationship systems, from family (how children learn what is possible, what not possible) to politics and economics." Relational Dynamics made me think of the social process triangles. I want to go back and read "The Partnership Way" again. "Barbara's mention of "points of light around the globe as individuals wake up - can they be - are they being - all connected at once?" The word involution grabbed my attention. I do think I'm experiencing it. "Ken Wilbur's 5 kinds of perspectives made my head swim. Any one of them could take an hour to give examples from. He's phenomenally analytical. Have bumped into his levels of spiritual understanding before - found them to be brilliant yet somehow detached. ... I'm with you in finding his mention of Carol Gilligan's examples of the 4th level of care to be meaningful. Well, enough for now. Now need to make a couple of phone calls. Last scheduled chemo this Tues. all day. Will go to my meaningful church tomorrow, use Mon. for errands to prepare for doing nothing 5 days after Tues." I'll be thinking of you as you go through this last round. You won't be doing nothing. You'll be healing. "Thanks for starting a good reflection. Enjoyed it! Janice" That was our last conversation. We never did get to have our phone conversation about our lymphoma experiences. I don't know the cause of death, but I doubt it was lymphoma, which responds to chemotherapy better than any other cancer. The treatment is quite debilitating to the immune and other systems. I appreciate the good fight that Janice fought. Truly, she rests in peace. In my e-mail search, I also found beautiful poetry below she sent in December: Its prophetic tone gave me chills. How beautiful her spirit is. What a privilege to have her as a friend/teacher/mentor. Love and blessings In a message dated 12/14/2012 7:46:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time, aulangca@stny.rr.com writes: "To my friends and many teachers/mentors in the ICA community - I continue learn so much from you! Profound gratitude and wishes for a splendid, radiant season. Janice Ulangca Advent: A coming into being 3rd definition, Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary A Conversation with Advent O Advent I think you are my favorite Of all the seasons in the church year Because you ask that I wake up, be vigilant, And open to some startling surprise, some wonder That never has existed ‘til today. Advent, beyond the rush, the noisy fun, the customary words, There is a vast and tender silence And I will meet you there. At first it may seem boring to be still But slowly in the quietness there will be A radiance, a peace, a profound care. Advent, I will dare to bring you this year’s pain The darkness, failures and the broken plans. Perhaps in the stillness With patience and expectancy They may gently be exchanged For healing and for hope . . . And it will not be fake To welcome Joy. JU 2012