I need to confess that, much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I just can't resist the taste of a juicy, greasy hamburger.Problem is, my house in Maggie Valley has about 20+ cows in the back yard, just beyond the barb wire.They just love it when I feed 'em apples--locally grown, of course.So when I sneak out to get one of those perfectly prepared medium rare cheeseburgers with ripe avocado and tomato slices and grilled onions and chopped lettuce and special sauce, with pickles and sweet potato fries on the side, I have to be real sneaky about it, or they will just stare right at me like they already know where I'm heading.Then when I return, inevitably licking my lips, I have to apologize to them. They hope I didn't eat any of their relatives.Every year there's a bunch of little black angus bulls running around (literally) and chasing one another and having a blast. They don't have a clue that they will be hamburger, plus expensive cuts of steak. All they know is that they love being grass-fed.So what to do?I've tried fake burgers. That would be Ozo burgers or Impossible burgers.They're very expensive. But you can close your eyes and pretend you're tasting the real thing.Even though you know you're not.Years ago I gave up eating steaks. Now steak eating seems outrageous and ridiculous to me.Not to mention environmentally wasteful.But I can't seem to totally renounce my sense of bourgeois carnivore privilege. Especially when I can easily afford a great burger. Occasionally.Marshall