The following is up for the Friday edition of Saipan Tribune. Sharing it with this listserv in case there are interested parties who might wish to comment. The usual caveat: curious, welcome; not, see you at the bend. Jaime Tiger’s Fried Chicken I crossed theinternational dateline shortly after I turned 20, heading by ship (MNL, HK,Yokohama, Hawaii, SF) for a little town outskirt of Lexington KY in a bastionof evangelicals who decided not to have anything to do with modernism. The town voted down a proposed InterstateHighway to pass through its neighborhood. But they were warm-hearted Wesleyans who sang their hymns with vigor andcried their sins easily in the communion rails at Vespers. I did not know Iwas going to be an Asian trophy when I left the boonies of northern Luzon to theenvirons of what I thought was one of America’s citadel of liberallearning. There were two black faces inmy freshman class, both from Liberia. Otherblack faces on campus maintained the premises, or cooked meals in thekitchen. They lived in shacks across therail tracks in town with their Sunday revival services more vibrant than theMain Street’s Protestant edifice complexes. On scholarship,I work part time and the kitchen ladies loved my labor ‘cause my Mama taught meto always leave the pots and pans polished like silver. I ate with the kitchen help so I always hadan extra helping of fried chicken, along with a slice of watermelon, and aplateful of collard greens (also pronounced coloredgreens). I naturally devoured the veggies though I thought it needed a dabof anchovy sauce (patis), which theladies would not touch since the Louisiana variety labeled it sauce poisson; they were not wild to eatpoison! This is a longishintro to Kentucky fried chicken, before the Colonel made KFC a common householdword globally, but when the golfer Sergio Garcia jokingly used it in referenceto what he would serve Tiger Woods for dinner, it did not sit well with the tiger. The young’uns inmy English class recite a local pre-school ditty that begins with Yi ge da xi gua… (“I haveone big watermelon …”) in tai chi-likemovement that we recite to practice pronouncing English words. I did not know even in Kentucky and Texas that eatingwatermelon was also racially-laced Porgy and Bess. Happily, it is one of the cheapest Vitamin Esource in China without a taint of racial overtone. We recently dida Sergio Garcia faux pas when wepassed along a Pope Francis joke about his blessing the crowd at his Mass,first, on mankind with “Tuti Homini”, then adding womankind with “et TutiFemini”, and finally, with the LGBT crowd, “et Tuti Fruiti.” My listserv is a pretty liberal crowd, but someof my colleagues took offense to our flighty indiscretion, and I was promptly heldto account on my insensitivity. The use of therace card remains a volatile issue for those who use it, and those offended byit. Bill Clinton in the 2008presidential campaign leveled the charge against Obama as using the race cardto his advantage while in the stomp in VA and SC. I residedin DC while the Clintons were in the White House, and Bill fancied himself as being the first American BlackPresident, albeit, albino. Obama carriesthat card well in his presidency, intentionally, I hope. His popularity was tested in his GOP-upsettingreelection that upended many pundits who predicted that Romney was heading forPennsylvania Ave. It is anothermatter to the erstwhile Buddhist Tiger Woods, playfully half Thai with his African-AmericanDNA. When he won the 1997 Masters,Fuzzy Zoeller commented that he should not serve Fried Chicken and Collards atthe Champions’ dinner; that makes Garcia’s jibe old but still totally inappropriate. Racial slurs v. Obama, and now withEric Holder in the hot seat, remain common but toothless in the nation’scapital. Being ofPhilippine descent, I was lumped along with many of the SVES teachers asfavoring Filipinos to gain honors at graduation against equally deserving Chamorrosand Carolinians. I used to dismiss thisas just another instance of racial prejudice until a parent actually asked thePrincipal to convene a conference so that she could hear for herself thereasons why her son was not going to graduate Valedictorian. If we point outthat the six awardees in the recent CNMI Math Court havenames that are more Hangeul than Marianitas, and the top five at NMC have onlyone name that comes close to deriving from Iberian masters, it would be clearthat the NMD’s call to fame on island will not be for being at the heap of PSS’ western standardized tests. Does it really matter? It is the LGBTcrowd that is now getting the brunt of prejudicial asides. The Pope Francis joke forwarded by a devout Catholiccolleague was funny to me because it let the Catholic Church laugh at its ownblindside. There is hope for the humanrace. Recent images of reactionary demonstrations in France held this week in protest of new same-sex marriage laws, the news that the venerable ChurchEngland unveiled plans to ordain female priests in every diocese by 2014, that 12States in the Union already legalized same-sex unions, President Obama openlyfor the legal stature, and DOMA under review by the Supreme Court, the TigerWoods of the LGBT crowd can enjoy their friend chicken! Got time for awatermelon joke? j'aime la vie Yesterday, appreciate; tomorrow, anticipate; today, participate. In all, Celebrate!