[Oe List ...] Bill Grow's Passing

[Mari Crocker]

Dear Order Colleagues, Rebecca, Brad and Ian,

It is with deep sadness that I learned this news, but rejoice that Bill’s passing was peaceful and painless.  I still see Bill and Nan the way they looked on August 16th, 2020 (during our months of being masked if inside) to celebrate their anniversary with a picnic on our front porch. This was just six weeks before Nan passed.  As always, Bill knew how to symbolize and remember the sacred family moments, even if this required a long, round-trip drive from Wallingford CT to Wells ME.  

Similarly, when Nan turned 80, Bill coordinated (long distance from York, PA) a grand birthday party at our home in West Newfield, ME, complete with a roast lamb dinner, lots of “Robbie Burns” poetry recitations, and the company of friends they knew in the greater Portland area.  Joe had just turned 80, and so advised Nan that the next 20 years were to be all about Contemplation.  Joe and I always looked forward to the Grow Family Christmas Letter — and I missed receiving it this year. It was always a masterpiece of poetry, annual history, prayer and music.  

Speaking of music, I was honored when Bill invited me to join him and the Yale Alumni Chorus in its annual performance at Milton Academy, MA  back in the late 90s/early 00s.  He said, “You know, Marilyn, back in my day, there were NO women at Yale — so I got permission to invite a Smith Chamber Singers alumna, because we need strong altos.” Not surprisingly, the program was challenging : Brahms Liebeslider Waltzes.  I not only had to engage a neighbor to coach me in German pronunciation, but also took a few lessons to “recover my feminine voice”, having sung tenor for years in my local church choir.  I could never have declined such a generous and complimentary offer from Bill.

Bill’s passion for the renewal of the Local Church was palpable, even after our Turn to the World in 1972.  And yet he (always also with Nan) graciously flexed to the shift our Order/EI/ICA made to serve as the sensitive and responsive force for renewal in the world through extensive work with ITIs and HDPs and so much more.  I love the video Jim Wiegel shared about Bill’s testimony that “our methods give voice to the nobodies of the world.”

Finally, I was always deeply moved by Bill's (and Nan’s) commitment to love, unconditionally, their four children.  Their grief at losing Cameron was profound; as was their love, respect and pride in Rebecca, Brad and Ian, and their six grandchildren.  I was blessed to know and come to love each of these four fine offspring as they were maturing, off and on, between 1968 and 1984 specifically, and since then as accomplished, gifted adults.

Go gently into this blessed night, dear Bill — we love you

Mari (and Joe) Crocker