[Oe List ...] Death Team

Margaret Aiseayew aiseayew at netins.net
Tue Dec 17 14:02:48 PST 2019


I was very fortunate that when my father died he had written everything down.  He had also made his own casket and made sure we knew the barn in which it was hanging.  My step mom was not quite so organized.  I had felt since the time of my father’s death and several experiences I had with parishioners that this was my calling upon retirement from the UMC.  I left the day after Dorothy died for a class and got back in time for her funeral.  I came back a Certified Death Midwife.

We search diligently for assistance with other signal events in our life—like the birth of a child.  We pretend we need no help with the next greatest event in our life.  Dorothy’s funeral was the second worst funeral I ever attended and it was largely because there was no objective third party to mediate between the family and the minister. The worst was due to a weak, misguided minister and bad theology.  As you can probably tell, I still struggle with some guilt about Dorothy’s send off, but Dorothy knew what I was planning to do and thought it was right for me.  She told me she didn’t intend to get in the way of my training and that I should go no matter what happened in the next few days.

I would like very much to participate with the Death Team.

Thanatopsis has been my favorite poem since I first encountered it in a book of my grandmothers.  At one time, I had the whole poem memorized.  It isn’t just short term memory that suffers with age.

Blessings to all, Margaret

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