[Dialogue] from Cynthia Vance

Wed Aug 15 11:00:11 PDT 2018

 Hello Cynthia,

Thank you for your word of Bob's passing and of his journeying on.  What a good man!

I remember the two of you in Jaipur in 1984 and your decision shockingly thereafter to embody that 'watershed'' moment by leaving the OE.

I recall today when Bob and I were among a few American students in Germany during 1959 and 1960.

Vividly grounded in my being is going with him out on the streets in Fifth City during the 1968 riots in response to the killing of MLK.

You, too, are a joyful memory as a buoyant smiling college student in the winter snow on the newly cleared sidewalks in Drew's forest campus.

The two of you were a nonchalant image of a family as priors with a deep sense of practical purpose, gentle humor and straightforwardness.

Many will be grateful to both of you for your family commitment to each other and for your caring for friends.  A special thanks to those who are there to support you, your sister, Cecily, and other immediate family. 

May Bob's ashes in the Gulf of Mexico replenish its health, may his brain edify researchers, and may you be more and more well, Cynthia!  

Reminiscences in a world of impermanence is becoming now one of our common rituals of collegial presence and appreciation.

With gratitude for your journey,  Charles

Al Lingo
clingojr at aol.com

-----Original Message-----
From: Cynthia Vance via Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>
To: dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>
Cc: Cynthia Vance <facilitationfla at aol.com>
Sent: Wed, Aug 15, 2018 5:30 am
Subject: [Dialogue] from Cynthia Vance

DearFriends and Colleagues,

My dearBob passed away today, Monday, August 13.

On July11 I enrolled him in Hospice at Home, due to his increasing symptoms from (possibly)Lewy Body dementia and I cared for him since then.  Last Sunday morning heawoke with extreme difficulties. The Hospice nurse came and felt he probably hada 'neurological event' the Saturday evening before, perhaps whilesleeping.  She took him to the Venice Hospice House at 6pm thatnight.  

Ivisited him 90 minutes later. He was very calm but not very responsive. I sharedmy reflections as I showed him 4 photos -- his parents, his brothers Neil andDenny, our doxies Star and Matilda and finally Bob and me. I also read twopoems I had written (about the dogs!) and a love letter highlighting andthanking him for the special times we shared as a team in our community service/civilrights efforts, followed by our strategic planning consulting, and finally in ourvarious nature adventures.  We had had these discussions before and had agreedthat history had given us a fine ride! – and that hopefully we made the world alittle better.  He died peacefully 5hours later, 1:30 am, early Monday morning. 

I’mgrateful for the wonderful life and marriage we had.  I could ask for nomore. Our home was one of peace, love, respect, creative planning and always inanticipation of our next birding or butterflying adventure.  He was always kind to others and was aterrific partner in our life work together!  

Manyof you, our colleagues over the years, wrote letters to him or telephoned himin the past 10 days.  He was so pleased to hear from you and I’m gratefulthat you reached out to us.  You shared your appreciation of his life andbrought us great joy.

Mysister, Cecily, has been with me for 2 days and as an R.N. has given meguidance during this journey. Other friends locally have compassionatelyreached out to me.

Bobhas donated his brain to the University of Miami Brain Endowment Bank to bothconfirm (or not) the diagnosis and to contribute to their research.  We will be spreading his ashes in ourButterfly Garden and the Gulf of Mexico where he proudly completed 990 SCUBA dives to collect hundreds ofvertebrate fossils. 

Grace and Peace,

Cynthia 

facilitationfla at aol.com

941-483-9165

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