Thanks for sharing this Ken. I ache for you for the year you missed with your son. The Poole's Garfield Heights Methodist Church was part of the Cleveland Galaxy when Ken and I were the priors there.  We left in 1973 so that our daughter would not go into the Student House as a sixth grader. We had seen too many Order children in not very good situations - and too many parents unable to handle the contradictions of family life in the Order and too often thereby basically abandoning their children. I suspect there are many personal memoires written of those experiences - some like mine likely trying to explain to adult children what it was all about.

Again, thanks.

Zoe


 
-----Original Message-----
From: Ken Fisher via OE
Sent: Feb 5, 2016 12:43 PM
To: Order Ecumenical Community , Colleague Dialogue
Subject: [Oe List ...] Grits, Green Beans and the Holy Ghost: Memoirs of a Girl Monk



Grits, Green Beans and the Holy Ghost: Memoirs of a Girl Monk Paperback – December 2, 2015

by Carol J Poole (Author)


I still have occasional conversations with ex-Order members who either deny or minimize the experiences of abuse and neglect our order children and youth experienced.  Now, there are so many examples to choose from, of ruptured families and folks in midlife still healing from their experiences growing up in the Order. For sure there were those who did not have this experience.

I will always experience sadness over leaving my 6 month old son in the Student House and not seeing him for a year while I saved the world in India. And soon after he joined us in Bombay, I left him for another 6 weeks as I went to teach and ITI in north India!

In short, Carol asks: "Who is responsible for my childhood neglect and abuse, and that of my peers?" My answer is: "Those of us who were parents, the Order and Joe Matthew's in particular.”

Metaphorically, Carol responds: "Whether your answer is yes-and-no, or no-and-yes, life itself completely supports your continuation of having hopes and dreams, and invites you to be your mystery, depth and greatness.”

I just re-read Kaye Hayes (Kaze) Gadway summer 2000 apology signed by 150 Order parents and adults. "We are brokenhearted about the suffering we allowed and even more sorry that it has taken so long to acknowledge this to you. This is only an opening of what we hope will be an ongoing dialogue. We need to hear your truth. We are ready to listen." So be it.

Although she never lived the O:E, wife Patricia and I are reading this together.

Ken Fisher


Ken Fisher
1070 Elizabeth Street  Box 75
Sharbot Lake ON  K0H 2P0
613.279.1902
Ken Fisher @KandPtrail