Mary Lou, my "da
lao po" (primal spouse) in Zhongwen,
just caught up with the Frank-Ellery-Carol march of the saints. She sent me an alert.
This week, one of four friends on survival mode post-chemo
parted with her oxygen tank at 81. We
wrote of her three years ago in Saipan when she was given three-to-six months
of breathing space. I was also making my
adieu. We said then: "This is
my penultimate submission for this year.
My valedictory article(s) will come next week. After that, should I ever pick up on doing
social commentary again, it will surely be in honor and in the fearless
tradition of Ruth L. Tighe, On My Mind! Thank
you, Ruth, and let the 'goodbyes' come
when they come!"
She took her time (wrote her last On
My Mind column turned blog Friday).
So did I. Am still hacking my
OpEd pieces for the same daily.
Frank and Aimee are inseparable, in our recollection - Aimee the
soft-spoken spokesperson, and Frank the brooder and bold strategist. We needed a building in Sudtonggan's training
center, especially after the staff house burned down. Frank passed the word down from Manila that money was never the problem. With Qing On of
Hong Kong, we convinced a Chinese lumberman in Cebu City to advance all the
materials we needed to construct a "log house". We got the building up in a jiffy. Dick Alton settled our account. Later, Frank planned to shed a few pounds off his Texas-size girth,
and did so in three months. I remembered
this when I heard of Frank's passing; responded with a weight watch of my own in
his memory!
Ellery and Tony are a duo in my ITI and Davao pictures of them. Ours was a fellowship of levity and
gaeity. The cerveza de San Miguel was a help but the comaraderie came naturally. Jon was mostly Kemper, and Debra,
Sudtonggan. They were family, especially
Tony's booming "Arriva!
Arriva!" all the way to the barrio of Sol de Septiembre! We located Tres Equis in China this week and downed the brew for the
Elizondos.
One can't remember Carol without recalling Joe as well. Joe on discontinuity in the Seoul ITI of '72, nursed a tumbler at the bar while listening to Neil Diamond
croon, "I am, I said, to no one there!" I dusted my vinyl the first day I got back to
Manila, and immediately moved in to the Manila House when it became obvious I
was not valued just for my ecclesiastical connection. Serendipitously, we moved in the same day
Marcos declared martial law, so Mary Lou was with Caucasians, and I decided not
to throw away my green card, just in case.
It must have been the spring of '82 when I decided to proceed to the
Guardians' meeting at Kemper, extending a trek from Majuro to Honolulu since
the additional cost was a bargain. I
'bumped' into Carol and Joe Crocker at O'Hare, and asked where they were headed
(thought they were on a development trip).
Carol smiled me to breakfast, and announced the Panjayat's sense that
I might visit my mother-in-law, then come to Kemper after the weekend. Majuro called
in panic. Someone speculated on the damage I might cause if my tongue wagged loose on tender ears who have contributed much of their life savings to our
project's economic debacles.
In her characteristic charm and power of persuasion, Carol cut me by the
balls without my feeling pain. In fact,
when she and Joe drove me to Sandwich, Illinois where mother-in-law lived, I
ended up the apologetic, self-effacing, grateful Asian, for their time and attention. I spent a week at Kemper later, watching W. Marshall J. meticulously finesse to perfection and some, the global film.
That was the year Mary Lou and I took our sabbatical at a local church in Guam. Frank and Aimee sent us
out over lunch and wished us health when we returned. I am not sure where the Elizondos were
then. Four years later, I would pen in
Sudtonggan another farewell reflection (with a few other stragglers left behind
when the Cebu House moved across the channel to the City). We never seem to get our memoirs of the
Order's last '84-'88 quadrennium before oblivion beyond poetry of goodwill and veiled
self-congratulations. Maybe we should
romp on the O of ORID without apology or remorse, if we still can.
Summer 2010, I overnighted at Kemper, said "Ni Hao" (You Good) to Terry, Marge, Mary Laura, and
their crew, and exorcised any remaining demons that may still bedevil us.
In sentiment, I am with Joe Pierce:
"I am, I said, to no one there ..." But Carol was never shy in factually
articulating the truth, as she saw it.
We found her candor and lucidity refreshing and healing.
For now, we join Frank, Ellery, and Carol in the parade. Their goose steps are also our own.
j'aime la vie
Yesterday, appreciate; tomorrow, anticipate; today, participate. In all, Celebrate!