The last
time Bud and I visited Ruth Carter was just over a
year ago. She was standing on her porch waiting
for us. A better welcome there could never be.
Of late
she seemed to struggle with depression so I
made it a practice to call her from time to
time. It was always the same; she answered
with a weak voice and ended with a "smile" and
some renewed energy. I talked to her 10 days
or so before she died. In an effort to help
her reconnect to one of her energy sources I
asked her if she ever went to the preschool.
She said, "Not much but they come to me.
They stand on the sidewalk and call 'Ms
Carter, Ms Carter, Ms. Carter. We love you".
She said she would go out on her porch and
wave and talk to them. Neither the children
or staff forgot her! Nor did we!
And
truthfully that is where she died according to
Regina; on her beloved front porch. When
Regina's son came home from baseball or
basketball practice on the 25th he found her
on the porch and couldn't get her to move. He
called his mom and she came. They called the
paramedics who asked Regina what she wanted
them to do. She said "Save my Mama. Save my
Mama". They tried.! On the way to Mt. Sinai
Hospital they did get a heartbeat and the
hospital kept her on life-support for 3 days
or so. Her kids and grandkids filled the room
during that time till they really got it that
she was brain-dead, till they could let her
go and asked them to take her off life
support.
As Regina and I visited she said she really
died on that porch she loved. And I say just as
she planned. She chose not to have a stent or
pacemaker and knew the consequences as did they
all. She waved to us on that porch. She waved
to the 5th City Preschool children and staff on
that porch, she stayed connected to the
community on that porch and no doubt waved to
the angel of death on that porch. Free, free,
free to decide. She knew it and she did.
Not too many days before she sat alone in
the preschool yard. One of her goodbyes? I
think so. And on the day she left she was up
and about her house...visiting with Regina,
eating lunch, clearing dishes and wiping the
table clean. When Regina went upstairs to her
home Ruth went out on the front porch to her
home.
Hear her sing. See her dance. As we all
rehearsed with one another.....Free, Free, Free
to Decide.
May it be so.
Jan Ames
FYI Ruth's address (and James and Regina
also) 3511 W. Van Buren
Chicago, IL 60624
Denise and Mike are her other 2
children