<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body style="overflow-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; line-break: after-white-space;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; line-height: 18.4px; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">I don’t know anyone who would not feel pain in hearing about the negative events of the past that have been rehearsed. It is hard to know what it means to repent and turn away from those mistakes in 2025. They are reminders of many mistakes we made in our experimentation on ourselves. I have often thought as a community of learning, we were no different than society; we were just the intensification of it. Our community had to create responses to issues just as others in society had to figure out for themselves in their families and communities. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; line-height: 18.4px; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Around 2022 a Junior High page was created on the ICA Global Archives website in an attempt to share ICA intents, experiences and what we learned: <a href="https://icaglobalarchives.org/collections/imaginal-education/demonstrations1/applications/junior-high-education-2/" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114);">https://icaglobalarchives.org/collections/imaginal-education/demonstrations1/applications/junior-high-education-2/</a>. I found it helpful to re-read the writings recently, especially the Student House experience. <b><a href="https://wedgeblade.net/files/archives_assets/21616.pdf" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114);">Patricia Scott’s</a></b> interviews of youth in 1970 are particularly revealing. There are the Student House documents (the <a href="https://wedgeblade.net/files/archives_assets/8676.pdf" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114);"><b>Manual of Operations</b></a><b> </b>(1980) and the <a href="https://wedgeblade.net/files/archives_assets/21911.pdf" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114);"><b>Student House Yearbook: Telling Our Story 1981-1982</b></a>). <a href="https://wedgeblade.net/files/archives_assets/20286.pdf" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114);"><b>Fred and Nancy Lanphear</b></a> tell stories of three years leading Student and High School Houses 1980-82. The <a href="https://wedgeblade.net/files/archives_assets/21644.pdf" style="color: rgb(149, 79, 114);"><b>Celebration 10</b></a> piece celebrated 10 years of the Student House, July 1983. <o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; line-height: 18.4px; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">What I most appreciate about these documents is that they acknowledge both gifts and challenges, strengths and weaknesses of years of learning about what it means to care for youth. Perhaps the writings will shed light on the multiple perspectives, intents and experiences of those experimental years.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt; line-height: 18.4px; font-size: medium; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Peace and love, Karen Snyder Troxel (who interned in the College House in 1966)</p><div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div>On Jul 24, 2025, at 2:54 PM, Mary Combs via OE <oe@lists.wedgeblade.net> wrote:</div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div dir="auto">Thank you, Shelley, for your sharing and willingness to be vulnerable in expression of your truth. My heart goes out to you for your courage and for that suffering. I have only just joined this list and am so grateful to see this kind of healing interaction taking place. The OE was life changing for me and my family, before, during and after. My dad and mom, Braxton & Marge Combs, were students of Joseph Matthews at SMU/Perkins in Dallas and he visited us many times in California where they moved for their ministry. We were in 5th City in the summer of ‘67, lived in Religious House in San Francisco in the early 70’s, my parents lived in the Paris House while I was in (the first?) Student House in ‘73-74. We left and my parents went back to work in the local church in California. Talk about culture shock! Later, to try to make some sense of it, I attended Academy in Chicago and did a paper on the progress in 5th City for college. My husband attended Academy in Belgium in ‘83. More recently, I was (luckily- thanks Julianne!) found on FB and joined that group list in time to join the 2G reunion in Bloomington. <span style="caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">I just got David’s book and am enjoying starting to read it. C</span>onnecting with all of you feels like opening a special gift I didn’t realize I needed. So many rich memories! So much to process. <div>What I know for sure is this: Our OE founders and leaders and our parent’s who joined created a vision for the future that was(is) so profound and radical and, just the fact they did so, that’s still super hopeful for me, especially considering where our world is now. It is still relevant and worthy of celebrating, but the deep sharing and healing from within that must also continue. The story is still being written! <div>Big Love to all,</div><div>Mary Combs</div><div>Aptos, CA</div><div><br id="lineBreakAtBeginningOfSignature"><div dir="ltr">Sent from my iPhone</div><div dir="ltr"><br><blockquote type="cite">On Jul 23, 2025, at 10:41 AM, Shelley Hahn via OE <oe@lists.wedgeblade.net> wrote:<br><br></blockquote></div><blockquote type="cite"><div dir="ltr"><div dir="ltr"><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">It’s been a few weeks since I dropped a bomb on one of the
threads here. It wasn’t my intention to
just go silent. Immediately after my
post my attention was snatched by a flooded basement, two sick pets, and the
need for some changes in my Mom’s care. (All is fine on all fronts now.) After that there had been so much rich
conversation and dialogue that I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of responding
in an articulate and meaningful way; I got paralyzed. Karen Snyder broke through my paralysis when
she contacted me last week to talk about a witness I gave in 1983 (I was 22)
about Celebration 10, a Student House reunion/gathering. After talking with Karen I decided I just
need to write SOMETHING, even if I don’t have all my thoughts and feelings
sorted out. I have no illusions that I
can tell my whole story in one piece of writing. (Marsha spent months writing
her reflections; I think David Marshall spent 20ish (?) years writing “Iron
Boy.”) Today, my only intention is to write from my
heart, to tell some pieces of my experience, my truth. Bear with me if I ramble a bit; if I let my
inner critic get too involved, I’ll never post anything. <span style="font-family:"Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif">😊</span> So … in no particular order:</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">~ Starting with the bomb I dropped a few weeks back … I was
sexually molested by the first prior in the house I was assigned to when I was
in 7<sup>th</sup> grade. I think that
person left the Order not too long after that, and I am almost certain he has
died by now. I pushed that experience and
the memories down for many years and finally faced them when I was in my late
20s. Therapy and conversations with the
people closest to me helped me process, heal and move forward. Even so, as with any powerful life
experience, the experience shapes one, becomes part of one’s fiber, woven
in. The experience does not define
me. It also cannot un-happen. </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">~ I live with an interesting paradox at my center. Unlike many of my 2<sup>nd</sup> Generation
peers, I have never wished I had a different life than I had growing up. I have many very fond memories from my life
in the Order, which started when I was 3 years old. I have always been grateful for the many
gifts that came with that life: community; a big extended family with scores of
extra brothers and sisters and lifelong friendships; a global perspective; a
trained intellect; a profound understanding of and care about the injustices in
the world. There are many others. At the same time, there is just as much that makes
me sad and angry. I could start right
there—emotions. The Order was intellectually
brilliant … and largely devoid of heart and compassion. Love is not just a structural approach; it is
also a human emotion (and I’m not just talking about romantic love). From my perspective, emotion wasn’t just
ignored it was considered weak, wrong, unhelpful … put down and squelched. What a loss for all of us. And to return to one of the central pieces of
recent discussion … in my opinion, separating families and not TRULY caring for
children and youth was a HUGE mistake. I’ve
always felt my parents’ love and I’ve always loved them powerfully, and when my
father died I was devastated to realize how few actual memories I had of time
with him before my parents moved to Bloomington when I was 43 and he was 73. Would there have been hard times and “bad”
memories if we’d been together all those years?
Of course! That doesn't change that I was denied years of connection with my parents. How sad that at some
point the decision was made to take “family” out of “family order.” There’s a lot more I could say about good and
bad, pro and con, but it’s more than I am up to at the moment. Perhaps the main point I want to make is that
acknowledging mistakes doesn’t mean there was no good, no value. I am a product of all of it.</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">~ Back to my appreciation of our community: I have ALWAYS been so grateful for my Order
family. I have wonderful memories of SO
many of you! I remember the Marshalls
and Hahns all going out for dinner in our VW beetle (yes, there were 10 of us!)
one family night. The Barleys took me in
as family and cared for me exquisitely for three months when I was in 4<sup>th</sup>
grade when my parents first went to England.
The Wainwrights and Baileys were my family in Santa Monica, the Averys
and Bonnells (before Clare was even a Bonnell <span style="font-family:"Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif">😊</span>) in England.
Alfrieda Wilkins was my guardian when I was in high school and did a
stellar job in a difficult role—big sister, friend, mentor. Martha Laird was assigned to oversee our youth
cluster at Kemper when I was 16 or 17 and we all adored her (she got off easy
with a fairly responsible bunch <span style="font-family:"Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif">😊</span>). Bob
Rafos was my surrogate dad when I was 18 and largely lost. Seeing so many of your faces and hearing your
words during my father’s Zoom memorial service was the greatest gift I could
have received at that painful time. I could go on and on. I am SO GRATEFUL for this bunch of human
beings. Get ready for the emotion: I have real love for so many of you. This is my truth just as much as the truth
that I was molested as a child.</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">~ And I have to address this separately: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my 2<sup>nd</sup> Generation
family. I have a weekly breakfast with
Tamara McClelland and Jane St. John.
Yesterday as we walked to our favorite haunt, Jane said, “WE are the
greatest gift we got from the Order.” “We”
meaning all of us who grew up in the Order, in all of the different iterations
and phases, with all the attendant joys and pains. She is right.
The love and connection we share with one another is big and intense and
powerful. Three weeks ago my husband and
I drove to Chicago for a get together with Mark & Cari (Boivin) Jewell, Pat
(Boivin) and Tom Price, David Allan and his wife, Susan, Chris Boivin, and
Sharon Rafos. Chris & I realized we
hadn’t seen each other in 35 years. It
didn’t matter. From the instant that we
all greeted each other it was as if not a week had passed. We support each other. We get each other. We celebrate each other. We listen to each other. Our reunions are fantastic. Big love. And I want to say as carefully and gently as
I can: a big part of why we are so tight
is that we get each other’s pain. Many of my peers say we came out as well as
we did in spite of the Order, not because of it. Speaking for myself, I believe it’s a mix. But I think I can guarantee that none of us
feel that the ends justify the means when it comes to the mistakes that were
made with regard to how we were raised. </div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">That’s about as much as I have energy for right now. I mentioned that Karen Snyder contacted me
about a witness I did in 1983. Wow! Karen asked for my permission to share that
piece from the archives. On reflection,
I don’t want to share that without also taking time to do a re-write from my
64-year-old perspective. Perhaps you’ll
be seeing that in the not-too-distant future.</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">A number of you reached out to me after my very short post a
few weeks back. Please forgive me for
not responding to you individually sooner.
I do intend to get back to each of you soon, now that my heart and mind
have settled a bit.</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Thanks to everyone for being out there. Thank you for “listening.” Thank you for being part of an important
dialogue</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">With love and respect,</div><div style="margin: 0in; line-height: 107%; font-size: 11pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Shelley Hahn</div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in;line-height:107%;font-size:11pt;font-family:Calibri,sans-serif"> </p></div>
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