<html><head><style type="text/css"><!-- DIV {margin:0px;} --></style></head><body><div style="font-size: 16px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family: georgia,serif;"><div>Thanks for sharing this Ken. I ache for you for the year you missed with your son. The Poole's Garfield Heights Methodist Church was part of the Cleveland Galaxy when Ken and I were the priors there.  We left in 1973 so that our daughter would not go into the Student House as a sixth grader. We had seen too many Order children in not very good situations - and too many parents unable to handle the contradictions of family life in the Order and too often thereby basically abandoning their children. I suspect there are many personal memoires written of those experiences - some like mine likely trying to explain to adult children what it was all about. </div><div><br></div><div>Again, thanks.</div><div><br></div><div>Zoe</div><div><br></div><div><br> <br></div><blockquote style="padding-left: 5px; margin-left: 0px; border-left: #0000ff 2px solid; font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; font-size: 10pt; font-family: arial,sans-serif; color: black;">-----Original Message-----
<br>From: Ken Fisher via OE <oe@lists.wedgeblade.net>
<br>Sent: Feb 5, 2016 12:43 PM
<br>To: Order Ecumenical Community <oe@lists.wedgeblade.net>, Colleague Dialogue <dialogue@lists.wedgeblade.net>
<br>Subject: [Oe List ...] Grits, Green Beans and the Holy Ghost: Memoirs of a Girl Monk

<br><br><zzzhtml><zzzhead><zzzmeta content="text/html charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></zzzmeta></zzzhead><zzzbody style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;"><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Grits-Green-Beans-Holy-Ghost/dp/099703680X" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Grits-Green-Beans-Holy-Ghost/dp/099703680X</a></div><div><br></div><div><div class="feature" id="booksTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="booksTitle"><div class="a-section a-spacing-none" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 0px !important;"><h1 class="a-spacing-none a-size-large" id="title" style="box-sizing: border-box; padding: 0px; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; margin-bottom: 0px !important; font-size: 21px !important; line-height: 1.3 !important;"><span class="a-size-large" id="productTitle" style="box-sizing: border-box; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; line-height: 1.3 !important;">Grits, Green Beans and the Holy Ghost: Memoirs of a Girl Monk</span> <span class="a-color-secondary a-text-normal a-size-medium" style="box-sizing: border-box; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; color: rgb(85, 85, 85) !important; font-size: 17px !important; line-height: 1.255 !important; font-weight: 400 !important;">Paperback</span> <span class="a-color-secondary a-text-normal a-size-medium" style="box-sizing: border-box; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; color: rgb(85, 85, 85) !important; font-size: 17px !important; line-height: 1.255 !important; font-weight: 400 !important;">– December 2, 2015</span></h1></div><div class="feature a-spacing-micro a-section bylineHidden" id="byline" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 4px !important;">by <span class="author notFaded" style="box-sizing: border-box;" data-width=""><a class="a-link-normal" style="box-sizing: border-box; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 102, 192);" href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1?ie=UTF8&text=Carol+J+Poole&search-alias=books&field-author=Carol+J+Poole&sort=relevancerank" target="_blank">Carol J Poole</a> <span class="contribution" style="box-sizing: border-box;" spacing="none"><span class="a-color-secondary" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(85, 85, 85) !important;">(Author)</span></span></span></div></div><div class="feature" id="averageCustomerReviews_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 7px; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="averageCustomerReviews"><div class="a-spacing-none" id="averageCustomerReviews" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 0px !important; display: inline;" data-ref="dpx_acr_pop_" data-asin="099703680X"><span title="5 out of 5 stars" class="reviewCountTextLinkedHistogram noUnderline" id="acrPopover" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="a-declarative" style="box-sizing: border-box;" data-a-popover='{"max-width":"700","closeButton":"false","position":"triggerBottom","url":"/gp/customer-reviews/widgets/average-customer-review/popover/ref=dpx_acr_pop_?contextId=dpx&asin=099703680X"}' data-action="a-popover"><a class="a-popover-trigger a-declarative" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(0, 102, 192);" target="_blank"><i class="a-star-5 a-icon-star a-icon" style="box-sizing: border-box; background-image: url(http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/AUIClients/AmazonUIBaseCSS-sprite_1x-8fe8c701c7a6f38368f97a8a3f04d5f25875be4d._V2_.png); -webkit-background-size: 400px 650px; background-size: 400px 650px; display: inline-block; vertical-align: text-top; position: relative; width: 80px; height: 18px; background-position: -5px -368px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat;"><span class="a-icon-alt" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: absolute; left: -9999px; top: auto; display: block; width: 1px; height: 1px; line-height: 1px; font-size: 1px; overflow: hidden;">5 out of 5 stars</span></i> <i class="a-icon-popover a-icon" style="box-sizing: border-box; background-image: url(http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/AUIClients/AmazonUIBaseCSS-sprite_1x-8fe8c701c7a6f38368f97a8a3f04d5f25875be4d._V2_.png); -webkit-background-size: 400px 650px; background-size: 400px 650px; display: inline-block; vertical-align: text-top; margin: 5px 0px 0px 0.385em; width: 7px; height: 5px; opacity: 0.6; background-position: -90px -5px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat;"></i></a> </span><span class="a-letter-space" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: inline-block; width: 0.385em;"></span> </span><span class="a-declarative" style="box-sizing: border-box;" data-action="acrLink-click-metrics" data-acrlink-click-metrics="{}"><a class="a-link-normal" id="acrCustomerReviewLink" style="box-sizing: border-box; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 102, 192);" href="http://www.amazon.com/Grits-Green-Beans-Holy-Ghost/dp/099703680X#customerReviews" target="_blank"><span class="a-size-base" id="acrCustomerReviewText" style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 19px !important;">11 customer reviews</span></a></span></div></div><div class="feature" id="seriesTitle_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="seriesTitle"></div><div class="feature" id="zeitgeistBadge_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="zeitgeistBadge"></div><div class="feature" id="socialFabric_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="socialFabric"></div><hr style="box-sizing: border-box; height: 1px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-top-style: solid; border-top-color: rgb(231, 231, 231); line-height: 19px; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 14px; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div class="feature" id="adoptedData" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="adoptedData"></div><div class="feature" id="MediaMatrix" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="MediaMatrix"><div class="a-spacing-large a-section responsive" id="formats" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 22px !important;"><a class="a-spacing-top-micro a-size-small a-link-expander a-spacing-small" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(0, 102, 192); display: inline-block; position: relative; padding-left: 11px; font-size: 12px !important; line-height: 1.5 !important; margin-top: 4px !important; margin-bottom: 10px !important;" target="_blank"><i class="a-icon-expand a-icon" id="formatsIcon" style="box-sizing: border-box; background-image: url(http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/AUIClients/AmazonUIBaseCSS-sprite_1x-8fe8c701c7a6f38368f97a8a3f04d5f25875be4d._V2_.png); -webkit-background-size: 400px 650px; background-size: 400px 650px; display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; width: 7px; height: 7px; position: absolute; top: 50%; margin-top: -4px; left: 0px; opacity: 0.6; background-position: -366px -86px; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat;"></i><span class="tmmShowPrompt" id="showMoreFormatsPrompt" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: inline;">See all formats and editions</span></a><div class="a-row" id="tmmSwatches" style="box-sizing: border-box; width: 747px; white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden;"><ul class="a-button-list a-nostyle a-horizontal" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-left: -6px; padding: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px !important;"><li class="swatchElement selected" style="box-sizing: border-box; list-style: none; word-wrap: break-word; margin: 0px 0px 0px 6px; display: inline-block; vertical-align: top;" data-width="115"><span class="a-list-item" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="a-spacing-mini a-button a-button-selected a-button-toggle format" id="a-autoid-2" style="box-sizing: border-box; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-top-left-radius: 3px; border-top-right-radius: 3px; border-bottom-right-radius: 3px; border-bottom-left-radius: 3px; border: 1px solid rgb(231, 118, 0); cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: middle; overflow: visible; width: 114.9375px; margin-bottom: 6px !important;"><span class="a-button-inner" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; position: relative; overflow: hidden; height: auto; box-shadow: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.6) 0px 1px 0px inset; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; background-image: none; background-color: rgb(254, 248, 242); background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><a class="a-button-text" id="a-autoid-2-announce" role="button" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); background-color: transparent; border: 0px; display: block; line-height: 19px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 5px 10px 5px 11px; text-align: left; width: 112.9375px; height: 48px; font-weight: 700;" target="_blank"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Paperback</span> <br style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="a-color-base" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="a-color-price" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(177, 39, 4) !important;">$19.95</span></span></a></span></span><span class="tmm-olp-links" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; padding: 0px 11px;"></span><span class="tmm-olp-links" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; padding: 0px 11px;"><span class="olp-new olp-link" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; line-height: 15px;"><a class="a-size-mini a-link-normal" style="box-sizing: border-box; text-decoration: none; color: rgb(0, 102, 192); font-size: 11px !important; line-height: 1.465 !important;" href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/099703680X/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_new_olp_sr?ie=UTF8&condition=new&qid=&sr=" target="_blank">2 New <span class="olp-from" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">from</span> $19.95</a></span></span></span></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="feature" id="campusInfo" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="campusInfo"></div><div class="feature" id="extraProductInfoFeatureGroup" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="extraProductInfoFeatureGroup"><div class="feature" id="newerVersion_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: table;" data-feature-name="newerVersion"></div><div class="feature" id="productAlert_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: table;" data-feature-name="productAlert"></div></div><div class="feature" id="dynamicIframe_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" data-feature-name="dynamicIframe"></div><div class="feature" id="bookDescription_feature_div" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(17, 17, 17); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 10px !important;" data-feature-name="bookDescription"><div id="bookDesc_outer_postBodyPS" style="box-sizing: border-box; overflow: hidden; z-index: 1; height: auto;"><div id="bookDesc_postBodyPS" style="box-sizing: border-box; overflow: hidden;"><div class="maxReadableWidth" id="bookDesc_iframe_wrapper" style="box-sizing: border-box; max-width: 650px;"><zzziframe class="ap_never_hide" id="bookDesc_iframe" style="box-sizing: border-box; height: 88px;" width="100%" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></zzziframe></div></div></div></div></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><font size="4">I still have occasional conversations with ex-Order members who either deny or minimize the experiences of abuse and neglect our order children and youth experienced.  Now, there are so many examples to choose from, of ruptured families and folks in midlife still healing from their experiences growing up in the Order. For sure there were those who did not have this experience.</font></div><div><font size="4"><br></font></div><div><font size="4">I will always experience sadness over leaving my 6 month old son in the Student House and not seeing him for a year while I saved the world in India. And soon after he joined us in Bombay, I left him for another 6 weeks as I went to teach and ITI in north India!</font></div><div><font size="4"><br></font></div><div><font size="4"><span style="color: rgb(20, 24, 35); background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);">In short, Carol asks: "Who is responsible for my childhood neglect and abuse, and that of my peers?" My answer is: "Those of us who were parents, the Order and Joe Matthew's in particular.</span><font color="#141823">”</font></font></div><div><span style="color: rgb(20, 24, 35); background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);"><font size="4"><br></font></span></div><div><font size="4"><span style="background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);"><font color="#141823">Metaphorically, Carol responds: "Whether your answer is yes-and-no, or no-and-yes, life itself completely supports your continuation of having hopes and dreams, and invites you to be your mystery, depth and greatness.</font></span><font color="#141823">”</font></font></div><div><span style="color: rgb(20, 24, 35); background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);"><font size="4"><br></font></span></div><div><font size="4"><span style="background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);"><font color="#141823">I just re-read </font></span><span style="color: rgb(20, 24, 35); background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Kaye Hayes (Kaze) Gadway</span><span style="background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);"><font color="#141823"> summer 2000 apology signed by 150 Order parents and adults. "We are brokenhearted about the suffering we allowed and even more sorry that it has taken so long to acknowledge this to you. This is only an opening of what we hope will be an ongoing dialogue. We need to hear your truth. We are ready to listen." So be it.</font></span></font></div><div><span style="background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);"><font color="#141823" size="4"><br></font></span></div><div><font color="#141823" size="4"><span style="background-color: rgb(246, 247, 248);">Although she never lived the O:E, wife Patricia and I are reading </span>this together.</font></div><div><font color="#141823" size="4"><br></font></div><div><font color="#141823" size="4">Ken Fisher</font></div><font size="4"><br><br></font><div apple-content-edited="true">
<div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; border-spacing: 0px;"><div style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;"><div><div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial" size="4">Ken Fisher</font></div><div><font size="4"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial">1070 Elizabeth Street  </font><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial">Box 75</font></font></div><div><font size="4"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial">Sharbot Lake ON  </font><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial">K0H 2P0</font></font></div></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial" size="4">613.279.1902</font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial" size="4"><a href="mailto:kenfisher1942@gmail.com" target="_blank">kenfisher1942@gmail.com</a></font></div><div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial" size="4">Ken Fisher @KandPtrail</font></div></div><div style="font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px;"><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><br></font></span></div></font></div></div></div></span></div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline">
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