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<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Paul--</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> An interesting request. I
suppose the last 15 weddings I've conducted had something of a secular focus. In
particular was one in a Kansas State Prison to an atheist prisoner and an
agnostic woman. We talked for 14 hours getting clear how his "reality" thinking
could be translated into the Christian liturgy; it was a beautiful wedding for
which they wrote the vows. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> Let me look through my files and
do a little research to share with you. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> The altar is a place for several
symbols:</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>In place of a cross, a Mystery Rock is
used.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>==A Family Candle set is used consisting of a
candle representing his side of the family, and another for hers. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>==A Wedding Candle is used by the couple who use
their Family Candles to light the candle representing a new family in
history.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>I make the case that there are a lot more attending
the wedding than those present in the seats. First is her family history, second
is his family history, and another one representing the State of Kansas (or
whatever).</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> I place the State License on the
altar and prepare to sign it at the time following the lighting of the Couple's
Family Candle. In this way, the State of Kansas is present. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> In place of the candles, I've
arrange for a small tube vase for each family and use colored balls usually used
in fish bowels: one color for each side of the family--the couple take their
color and combine it in a larger tube so that there is a mix of colors.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> At the very beginning with the
seating of the families, they bring their color marbles to put into their jar.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> At the beginning of any
counseling or conversation about the couple's expectations, I remind them that
I'll be in prayer for them and will have a symbolic gift for them to be
presented at the service. Frequently, I've used "Salt" reading from the Gospels:
find a glass salt shaker (or an old aluminum Stove model) and engrave their
name, wedding date, and the script. reference on it, requesting it be placed on
their stove where it can be seen and used daily with the prayer that it become a
reminder of their wedding vows. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> For this same purpose, I've used
an old t-towel from the kitchen with stains and a hole in it and use it to tie
their hands together at the end of the service; this is to remind them that
every time they pick up a t-towel they are to recall their wedding vows. To this
same end, I've use warm washrags asking each couple to wash the hands of the
other--this can be particularly meaningful when children of blended families are
involved. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> As you can see, use whatever
comes to mind to use as metaphors for what the wedding ritual means.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> The couple can be asked to write
their personal vows; or sing to each other. Whatever. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> Let me see what else can be
found. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> Perhaps, this will get the
juices flowing. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>Remember, the vows are really for the State. The
ritual could be no more or less than: "You want him?" You want her?"
You're married. Let's go party. (Ever see the movie "Joe versus The Volcano?"
These were the vows standing on the lip of the volcano said by the Island Chief.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>
Later, </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> Bill Salmon</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV>----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
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dir=ltr>
<DIV
style="FONT: 10pt arial; BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=oe@lists.wedgeblade.net href="mailto:oe@lists.wedgeblade.net">Paul
Schrijnen via OE</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=oe@lists.wedgeblade.net
href="mailto:oe@lists.wedgeblade.net">Order Ecumenical Community</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Wednesday, January 07, 2015 10:32
PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Oe List ...] Request for ideas
for wedding service</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Dear colleagues, dear friends,</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>My best wishes to you all for 2015. </DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>My son Patrick is getting married this summer and would like me
to </DIV>
<DIV>conduct a secular wedding service. </DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>I am looking for help and ideas. I suspect that a number of you
have </DIV>
<DIV>run such services - or would have a wealth of ideas for such a
service.</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>1. what structure makes sense?</DIV>
<DIV>2. what congregational singing would work? </DIV>
<DIV><SPAN style="WHITE-SPACE: pre" class=Apple-tab-span></SPAN>- what secular
songs might be easily sung by the group of guests?</DIV>
<DIV><SPAN style="WHITE-SPACE: pre" class=Apple-tab-span></SPAN>- what Church
songs might work, even in a secular setting? His bride is Welsh…</DIV>
<DIV>3. ideas for readings, poetry.</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>I appreciate your liturgical help!</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>With best wishes,</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Paul</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV><BR>
<DIV apple-content-edited="true">
<DIV
style="TEXT-TRANSFORM: none; TEXT-INDENT: 0px; WORD-WRAP: break-word; WHITE-SPACE: normal; LETTER-SPACING: normal; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); WORD-SPACING: 0px; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px">
<DIV>Paul Schrijnen</DIV>
<DIV><A
href="mailto:paulschrijnen@gmail.com">paulschrijnen@gmail.com</A></DIV>
<DIV><A href="mailto:pschrijnen@aol.com">pschrijnen@aol.com</A></DIV>
<DIV>13 Bloemfontein Avenue</DIV>
<DIV>London W12 7BJ</DIV>
<DIV>+44 7973 206 766</DIV>
<DIV>skype: paulus.schrijnen</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV></DIV><BR class=Apple-interchange-newline><BR
class=Apple-interchange-newline></DIV><BR>
<DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE type="cite">
<DIV>On 25 Dec 2014, at 17:35, Jeanette Stanfield via OE <<A
href="mailto:oe@lists.wedgeblade.net">oe@lists.wedgeblade.net</A>>
wrote:</DIV><BR class=Apple-interchange-newline>
<DIV>
<DIV dir=ltr>Dear Colleagues,
<DIV>Thank you for being my global community throughout most of my adult
life. With deep gratitude for all of you. </DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Your constant compassion and care for this planet and all of its people
is an unbelievable gift threaded into the very being of mother
earth. </DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Happy Christmas. </DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Jeanette</DIV></DIV>_______________________________________________<BR>OE
mailing list<BR><A
href="mailto:OE@lists.wedgeblade.net">OE@lists.wedgeblade.net</A><BR>http://lists.wedgeblade.net/listinfo.cgi/oe-wedgeblade.net<BR></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV><BR>
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