<div>Thanks for sharing this, Paul.  Very profound and important.</div><div> </div><div>Shelley<br><br></div><div class="gmail_quote">On Thu, Oct 18, 2012 at 4:40 AM,  <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:PSchrijnen@aol.com" target="_blank">PSchrijnen@aol.com</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;padding-left:1ex;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-width:1px;border-left-style:solid" class="gmail_quote"><u></u>



<div style="font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt"><font color="#000000" face="Arial">
<div><font style="background-color:transparent" color="#000000" face="Arial">
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"><font>further to our little conversation about the impact of different 
technological platforms.......</font></div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"><font></font> </div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px">This TED talk by 
Sherry Turkle covers the challenge of what the digital revolution </div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px">is doing to our 
communication, connection and capacity to cause and use reflection</div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"> </div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px">This is well worth 
the 19 minutes.</div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"> </div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px">Paul</div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"><br></div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html" target="_blank">www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html</a></div>
<div style="font-family:Geneva,sans-serif;font-size:14px"><br></div>
<div>
<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px">And 
here is a transcript:</p>
<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#0" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Just a moment ago,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#2000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#2000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">my daughter Rebecca texted me for good luck.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#6000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#6000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Her text said,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#8000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#8000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"Mom, you will rock."</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#11000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#11000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I love this.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#13000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#13000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Getting that text</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#15000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#15000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">was like getting a hug.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#17000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#17000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And so there you have it.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#20000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#20000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I embody</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#22000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#22000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the central paradox.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#24000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#24000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'm a woman</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#26000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#26000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">who loves getting texts</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#28000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#28000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">who's going to tell you</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#30000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#30000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that too many of them can be a problem.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#33000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#33000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Actually that reminder of my daughter</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#36000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#36000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">brings me to the beginning of my story.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#39000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#39000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">1996, when I gave my first TEDTalk,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#43000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#43000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Rebecca was five years old</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#45000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#45000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and she was sitting right there</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#47000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#47000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in the front row.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#49000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#49000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I had just written a book</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#51000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#51000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that celebrated our life on the internet</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#53000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#53000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and I was about to be on the cover</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#56000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#56000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of Wired magazine.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#58000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#58000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">In those heady days,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#60000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#60000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we were experimenting</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#62000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#62000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">with chat rooms and online virtual communities.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#65000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#65000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We were exploring different aspects of ourselves.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#69000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#69000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And then we unplugged.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#71000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#71000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I was excited.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#73000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#73000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And, as a psychologist, what excited me most</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#76000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#76000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">was the idea</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#78000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#78000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we would use what we learned in the virtual world</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#81000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#81000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">about ourselves, about our identity,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#84000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#84000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to live better lives in the real world.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#87000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#87000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Now fast-forward to 2012.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#90000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#90000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'm back here on the TED stage again.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#93000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#93000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">My daughter's 20. She's a college student.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#96000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#96000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">She sleeps with her cellphone,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#100000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#100000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">so do I.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#102000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#102000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And I've just written a new book,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#105000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#105000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but this time it's not one</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#108000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#108000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that will get me on the cover</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#110000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#110000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of Wired magazine.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#112000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#112000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So what happened?</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#115000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#115000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'm still excited by technology,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#118000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#118000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but I believe,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#120000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#120000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and I'm here to make the case,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#122000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#122000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we're letting it take us places</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#124000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#124000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we don't want to go.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#126000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#126000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Over the past 15 years,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#128000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#128000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I've studied technologies of mobile communication</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#131000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#131000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and I've interviewed hundreds and hundreds of people,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#134000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#134000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">young and old,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#136000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#136000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">about their plugged in lives.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#138000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#138000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And what I've found</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#140000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#140000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is that our little devices,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#142000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#142000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">those little devices in our pockets,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#145000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#145000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">are so psychologically powerful</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#147000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#147000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that they don't only change what we do,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#151000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#151000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they change who we are.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#154000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#154000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Some of the things we do now with our devices</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#156000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#156000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">are things that, only a few years ago,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#159000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#159000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we would have found odd</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#161000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#161000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or disturbing,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#163000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#163000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but they've quickly come to seem familiar,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#166000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#166000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">just how we do things.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#168000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#168000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So just to take some quick examples:</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#171000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#171000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People text or do email</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#173000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#173000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">during corporate board meetings.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#176000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#176000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">They text and shop and go on Facebook</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#179000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#179000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">during classes, during presentations,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#182000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#182000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">actually during all meetings.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#184000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#184000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People talk to me about the important new skill</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#187000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#187000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of making eye contact</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#189000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#189000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">while you're texting.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#191000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#191000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">(Laughter)</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#193000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#193000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People explain to me</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#195000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#195000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that it's hard, but that it can be done.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#198000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#198000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Parents text and do email</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#200000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#200000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">at breakfast and at dinner</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#202000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#202000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">while their children complain</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#205000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#205000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">about not having their parents' full attention.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#207000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#207000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But then these same children</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#209000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#209000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">deny each other their full attention.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#212000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#212000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This is a recent shot</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#214000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#214000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of my daughter and her friends</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#217000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#217000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">being together</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#219000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#219000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">while not being together.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#222000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#222000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we even text at funerals.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#224000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#224000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I study this.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#226000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#226000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We remove ourselves</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#228000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#228000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">from our grief or from our revery</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#230000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#230000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and we go into our phones.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#233000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#233000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Why does this matter?</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#235000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#235000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It matters to me</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#237000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#237000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because I think we're setting ourselves up for trouble --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#240000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#240000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">trouble certainly</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#242000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#242000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in how we relate to each other,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#244000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#244000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but also trouble</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#246000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#246000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in how we relate to ourselves</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#249000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#249000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and our capacity for self-reflection.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#252000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#252000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We're getting used to a new way</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#254000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#254000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of being alone together.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#257000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#257000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People want to be with each other,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#259000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#259000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but also elsewhere --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#261000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#261000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">connected to all the different places they want to be.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#264000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#264000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People want to customize their lives.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#267000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#267000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">They want to go in and out of all the places they are</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#270000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#270000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because the thing that matters most to them</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#272000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#272000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is control over where they put their attention.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#276000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#276000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So you want to go to that board meeting,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#279000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#279000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but you only want to pay attention</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#281000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#281000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to the bits that interest you.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#283000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#283000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And some people think that's a good thing.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#286000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#286000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But you can end up</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#288000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#288000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">hiding from each other,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#290000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#290000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">even as we're all constantly connected to each other.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#293000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#293000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A 50-year-old business man</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#295000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#295000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">lamented to me</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#297000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#297000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that he feels he doesn't have colleagues anymore at work.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#300000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#300000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When he goes to work, he doesn't stop by to talk to anybody,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#303000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#303000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">he doesn't call.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#305000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#305000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And he says he doesn't want to interrupt his colleagues</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#308000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#308000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because, he says, "They're too busy on their email."</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#311000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#311000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But then he stops himself</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#313000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#313000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and he says, "You know, I'm not telling you the truth.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#315000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#315000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'm the one who doesn't want to be interrupted.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#318000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#318000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I think I should want to,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#320000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#320000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but actually I'd rather just do things on my Blackberry."</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#324000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#324000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Across the generations,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#326000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#326000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I see that people can't get enough of each other,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#330000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#330000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">if and only if</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#332000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#332000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they can have each other at a distance,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#335000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#335000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in amounts they can control.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#337000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#337000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I call it the Goldilocks effect:</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#340000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#340000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">not too close, not too far,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#343000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#343000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">just right.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#345000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#345000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But what might feel just right</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#347000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#347000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">for that middle-aged executive</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#349000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#349000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">can be a problem for an adolescent</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#351000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#351000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">who needs to develop face-to-face relationships.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#355000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#355000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">An 18-year-old boy</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#357000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#357000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">who uses texting for almost everything</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#360000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#360000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">says to me wistfully,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#362000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#362000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"Someday, someday,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#365000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#365000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but certainly not now,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#367000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#367000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'd like to learn how to have a conversation."</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#371000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#371000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When I ask people</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#373000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#373000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"What's wrong with having a conversation?"</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#376000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#376000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People say, "I'll tell you what's wrong with having a 
conversation.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#380000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#380000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It takes place in real time</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#383000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#383000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and you can't control what you're going to say."</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#387000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#387000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So that's the bottom line.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#389000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#389000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Texting, email, posting,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#392000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#392000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">all of these things</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#394000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#394000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">let us present the self as we want to be.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#397000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#397000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We get to edit,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#399000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#399000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and that means we get to delete,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#402000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#402000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and that means we get to retouch,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#405000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#405000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the face, the voice,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#407000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#407000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the flesh, the body --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#409000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#409000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">not too little, not too much,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#412000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#412000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">just right.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#414000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#414000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Human relationships</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#416000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#416000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">are rich and they're messy</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#418000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#418000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and they're demanding.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#420000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#420000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we clean them up with technology.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#423000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#423000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And when we do,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#425000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#425000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">one of the things that can happen</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#427000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#427000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is that we sacrifice conversation</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#429000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#429000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">for mere connection.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#431000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#431000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We short-change ourselves.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#434000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#434000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And over time,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#436000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#436000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we seem to forget this,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#438000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#438000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or we seem to stop caring.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#441000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#441000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I was caught off guard</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#445000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#445000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">when Stephen Colbert</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#447000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#447000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">asked me a profound question,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#451000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#451000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">a profound question.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#454000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#454000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">He said, "Don't all those little tweets,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#460000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#460000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">don't all those little sips</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#463000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#463000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of online communication,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#466000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#466000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">add up to one big gulp</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#469000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#469000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of real conversation?"</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#473000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#473000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">My answer was no,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#475000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#475000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they don't add up.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#477000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#477000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Connecting in sips may work</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#481000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#481000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">for gathering discreet bits of information,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#485000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#485000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they may work for saying, "I'm thinking about you,"</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#489000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#489000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or even for saying, "I love you," --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#491000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#491000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I mean, look at how I felt</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#493000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#493000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">when I got that text from my daughter --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#496000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#496000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but they don't really work</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#498000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#498000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">for learning about each other,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#500000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#500000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">for really coming to know and understand each other.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#504000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#504000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we use conversations with each other</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#508000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#508000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to learn how to have conversations</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#510000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#510000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">with ourselves.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#512000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#512000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So a flight from conversation</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#514000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#514000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">can really matter</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#516000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#516000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because it can compromise</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#518000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#518000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">our capacity for self-reflection.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#520000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#520000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">For kids growing up,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#522000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#522000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that skill is the bedrock of development.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#526000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#526000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Over and over I hear,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#528000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#528000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"I would rather text than talk."</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#531000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#531000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And what I'm seeing</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#533000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#533000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is that people get so used to being short-changed</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#535000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#535000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">out of real conversation,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#537000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#537000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">so used to getting by with less,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#540000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#540000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that they've become almost willing</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#542000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#542000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to dispense with people altogether.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#544000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#544000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So for example,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#546000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#546000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">many people share with me this wish,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#548000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#548000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that some day a more advanced version of Siri,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#551000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#551000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the digital assistant on Apple's iPhone,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#554000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#554000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">will be more like a best friend,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#556000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#556000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">someone who will listen</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#558000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#558000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">when others won't.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#560000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#560000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I believe this wish</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#562000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#562000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">reflects a painful truth</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#564000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#564000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that I've learned in the past 15 years.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#567000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#567000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">That feeling that no one is listening to me</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#571000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#571000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is very important</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#573000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#573000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in our relationships with technology.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#575000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#575000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">That's why it's so appealing</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#577000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#577000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to have a Facebook page</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#579000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#579000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or a Twitter feed --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#581000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#581000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">so many automatic listeners.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#584000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#584000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And the feeling that no one is listening to me</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#587000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#587000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">make us want to spend time</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#589000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#589000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">with machines that seem to care about us.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#592000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#592000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We're developing robots,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#594000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#594000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they call them sociable robots,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#596000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#596000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that are specifically designed to be companions --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#599000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#599000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to the elderly,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#601000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#601000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to our children,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#603000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#603000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to us.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#605000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#605000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Have we so lost confidence</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#608000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#608000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we will be there for each other?</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#612000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#612000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">During my research</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#614000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#614000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I worked in nursing homes,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#616000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#616000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and I brought in these sociable robots</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#619000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#619000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that were designed to give the elderly</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#621000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#621000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the feeling that they were understood.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#624000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#624000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And one day I came in</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#626000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#626000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and a woman who had lost a child</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#628000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#628000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">was talking to a robot</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#630000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#630000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in the shape of a baby seal.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#633000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#633000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It seemed to be looking in her eyes.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#635000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#635000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It seemed to be following the conversation.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#638000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#638000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It comforted her.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#641000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#641000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And many people found this amazing.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#645000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#645000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But that woman was trying to make sense of her life</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#650000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#650000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">with a machine that had no experience</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#653000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#653000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of the arc of a human life.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#656000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#656000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">That robot put on a great show.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#658000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#658000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we're vulnerable.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#660000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#660000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">People experience pretend empathy</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#663000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#663000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">as though it were the real thing.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#666000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#666000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So during that moment</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#670000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#670000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">when that woman</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#672000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#672000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">was experiencing that pretend empathy,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#675000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#675000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I was thinking, "That robot can't empathize.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#678000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#678000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It doesn't face death.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#680000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#680000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It doesn't know life."</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#682000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#682000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And as that woman took comfort</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#684000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#684000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in her robot companion,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#686000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#686000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I didn't find it amazing;</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#688000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#688000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I found it one of the most wrenching, complicated moments</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#692000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#692000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in my 15 years of work.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#696000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#696000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But when I stepped back,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#698000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#698000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I felt myself</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#700000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#700000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">at the cold, hard center</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#703000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#703000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of a perfect storm.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#705000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#705000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We expect more from technology</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#708000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#708000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and less from each other.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#711000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#711000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And I ask myself,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#713000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#713000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">"Why have things come to this?"</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#716000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#716000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And I believe it's because</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#718000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#718000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">technology appeals to us most</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#721000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#721000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">where we are most vulnerable.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#723000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#723000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we are vulnerable.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#725000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#725000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We're lonely,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#727000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#727000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but we're afraid of intimacy.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#729000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#729000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And so from social networks to sociable robots,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#732000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#732000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we're designing technologies</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#734000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#734000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that will give us the illusion of companionship</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#737000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#737000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">without the demands of friendship.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#739000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#739000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We turn to technology to help us feel connected</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#742000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#742000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">in ways we can comfortably control.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#745000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#745000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But we're not so comfortable.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#747000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#747000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We are not so much in control.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#750000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#750000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">These days, those phones in our pockets</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#753000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#753000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">are changing our minds and hearts</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#755000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#755000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because they offer us</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#757000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#757000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">three gratifying fantasies.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#759000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#759000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">One, that we can put our attention</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#761000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#761000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">wherever we want it to be;</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#763000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#763000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">two, that we will always be heard;</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#766000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#766000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and three, that we will never have to be alone.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#769000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#769000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And that third idea,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#771000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#771000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we will never have to be alone,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#774000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#774000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is central to changing our psyches.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#776000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#776000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Because the moment that people are alone,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#779000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#779000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">even for a few seconds,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#781000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#781000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they become anxious, they panic, they fidget,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#784000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#784000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they reach for a device.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#786000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#786000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Just think of people at a checkout line</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#788000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#788000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or at a red light.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#790000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#790000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#794000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#794000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And so people try to solve it by connecting.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#797000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#797000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But here, connection</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#799000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#799000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is more like a symptom than a cure.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#802000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#802000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It expresses, but it doesn't solve,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#805000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#805000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">an underlying problem.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#807000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#807000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But more than a symptom,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#809000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#809000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">constant connection is changing</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#811000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#811000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the way people think of themselves.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#813000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#813000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It's shaping a new way of being.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#816000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#816000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The best way to describe it is,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#818000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#818000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I share therefore I am.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#821000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#821000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We use technology to define ourselves</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#824000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#824000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">by sharing our thoughts and feelings</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#826000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#826000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">even as we're having them.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#828000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#828000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So before it was:</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#830000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#830000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I have a feeling,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#832000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#832000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I want to make a call.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#834000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#834000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Now it's: I want to have a feeling,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#837000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#837000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I need to send a text.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#839000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#839000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The problem with this new regime</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#842000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#842000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of "I share therefore I am"</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#844000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#844000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is that, if we don't have connection,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#846000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#846000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we don't feel like ourselves.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#848000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#848000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We almost don't feel ourselves.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#850000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#850000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So what do we do? We connect more and more.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#853000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#853000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But in the process,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#855000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#855000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we set ourselves up to be isolated.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#858000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#858000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">How do you get from connection to isolation?</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#862000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#862000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">You end up isolated</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#864000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#864000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">if you don't cultivate the capacity for solitude,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#866000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#866000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the ability to be separate,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#869000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#869000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to gather yourself.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#871000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#871000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Solitude is where you find yourself</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#874000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#874000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">so that you can reach out to other people</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#876000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#876000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and form real attachments.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#879000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#879000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When we don't have the capacity for solitude,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#882000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#882000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#885000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#885000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or in order to feel alive.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#887000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#887000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When this happens,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#889000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#889000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we're not able to appreciate who they are.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#892000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#892000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It's as though we're using them</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#894000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#894000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">as spare parts</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#896000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#896000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to support our fragile sense of self.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#899000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#899000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We slip into thinking that always being connected</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#902000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#902000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">is going to make us feel less alone.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#906000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#906000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But we're at risk,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#908000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#908000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">because actually it's the opposite that's true.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#911000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#911000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">If we're not able to be alone,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#913000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#913000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we're going to be more lonely.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#915000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#915000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And if we don't teach our children to be alone,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#918000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#918000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">they're only going to know</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#920000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#920000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">how to be lonely.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#922000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#922000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">When I spoke at TED in 1996,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#925000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#925000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">reporting on my studies</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#927000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#927000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of the early virtual communities,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#929000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#929000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I said, "Those who make the most</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#932000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#932000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">of their lives on the screen</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#934000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#934000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">come to it in a spirit of self-reflection."</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#937000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#937000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And that's what I'm calling for here, now:</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#940000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#940000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">reflection and, more than that, a conversation</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#943000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#943000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">about where our current use of technology</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#946000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#946000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">may be taking us,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#948000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#948000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">what it might be costing us.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#950000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#950000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We're smitten with technology.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#953000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#953000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we're afraid, like young lovers,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#956000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#956000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that too much talking might spoil the romance.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#959000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#959000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But it's time to talk.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#961000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#961000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We grew up with digital technology</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#964000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#964000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and so we see it as all grown up.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#966000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#966000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But it's not, it's early days.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#969000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#969000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">There's plenty of time</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#971000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#971000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">for us to reconsider how we use it,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#973000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#973000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">how we build it.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#975000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#975000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'm not suggesting</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#977000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#977000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we turn away from our devices,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#979000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#979000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">just that we develop a more self-aware relationship</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#982000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#982000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">with them, with each other</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#984000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#984000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and with ourselves.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#987000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#987000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I see some first steps.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#989000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#989000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Start thinking of solitude</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#991000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#991000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">as a good thing.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#993000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#993000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Make room for it.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#995000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#995000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Find ways to demonstrate this</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#998000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#998000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">as a value to your children.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1000000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1000000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Create sacred spaces at home --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1002000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1002000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the kitchen, the dining room --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1004000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1004000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and reclaim them for conversation.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1007000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1007000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Do the same thing at work.</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1009000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1009000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">At work, we're so busy communicating</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1011000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1011000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we often don't have time to think,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1014000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1014000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">we don't have time to talk,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1017000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1017000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">about the things that really matter.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1019000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1019000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Change that.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1021000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1021000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Most important, we all really need to listen to each other,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1025000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1025000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">including to the boring bits.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1029000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1029000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Because it's when we stumble</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1031000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1031000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">or hesitate or lose our words</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1034000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1034000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that we reveal ourselves to each other.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1038000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1038000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Technology is making a bid</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1041000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1041000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to redefine human connection --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1043000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1043000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">how we care for each other,</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1045000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1045000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">how we care for ourselves --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1047000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1047000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">but it's also giving us the opportunity</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1049000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1049000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to affirm our values</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1051000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1051000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and our direction.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1053000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1053000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I'm optimistic.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1055000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1055000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We have everything we need to start.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1058000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1058000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We have each other.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1060000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1060000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And we have the greatest chance of success</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1063000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1063000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">if we recognize our vulnerability.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1066000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1066000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">That we listen</a><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1068000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1068000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">when technology says</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1070000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1070000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">it will take something complicated</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1073000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1073000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">and promises something simpler.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1076000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1076000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">So in my work,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1078000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1078000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I hear that life is hard,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1081000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1081000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">relationships are filled with risk.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1083000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1083000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">And then there's technology --</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1085000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1085000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">simpler, hopeful,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1087000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1087000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">optimistic, ever-young.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1090000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1090000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">It's like calling in the cavalry.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1092000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1092000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">An ad campaign promises</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1094000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1094000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">that online and with avatars,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1096000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1096000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">you can "Finally, love your friends</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1100000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1100000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">love your body, love your life,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1103000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1103000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">online and with avatars."</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1106000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1106000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We're drawn to virtual romance,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1108000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1108000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to computer games that seem like worlds,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1111000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1111000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to the idea that robots, robots,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1115000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1115000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">will someday be our true companions.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1118000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1118000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">We spend an evening on the social network</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1121000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1121000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">instead of going to the pub with friends.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1124000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1124000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">But our fantasies of substitution</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1126000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1126000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">have cost us.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1129000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1129000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Now we all need to focus</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1132000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1132000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">on the many, many ways</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1134000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1134000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">technology can lead us back</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1136000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1136000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to our real lives, our own bodies,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1139000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1139000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">our own communities,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1141000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1141000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">our own politics,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1143000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1143000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">our own planet.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1145000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1145000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">They need us.</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1147000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1147000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Let's talk about</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1149000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1149000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">how we can use digital technology,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1152000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1152000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the technology of our dreams,</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1155000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1155000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">to make this life</a> <a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1157000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1157000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the life we can love.</a></p>

<p style="margin:0px 0px 1em;padding:0px;font-family:arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:13px"><a title="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1159000" href="http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together.html#1159000" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Thank you.</a></p>
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