[Oe List ...] Ongoing Reflections

[Marsha Hahn]

 Cheryl,
Thank you for your words. I'm sorry if anyone felt judgment from my comment about the silence. I assumed that most people were processing and reflecting in their own way, and not sure how to respond. 
People who know me know that I am not one who relishes rocking the boat, my recent writing notwithstanding. I have found myself sitting with the discomfort of having rocked the boat. Part of that discomfort is because I profoundly do not want to cause pain, and I know I have done just that. I probably could have tried to raise this topic more gently, in bite-size pieces, and I had pondered trying to do that. Because others (David and Shelley) raised the topic, and I already had something written for the archives, I leapt. And it's really damned uncomfortable now, certainly for me, and probably for lots of us. 
I don't know what comes next. I so appreciate Sunny chiming in, and Diane sharing about her family's pain and healing. I'm trusting there's a way forward that is respectful of everyone. I'm trusting we can hear each other, can debate and disagree, can find new ways of seeing things, and can discover larger truths that can hold seemingly disparate feelings and experiences. I don't think there's any rush, though. We'll figure it out.
With profound love and respect for each of you.
Marsha
    On Sunday, July 6, 2025 at 08:17:56 PM PDT, Cheryl Hood <cheryl.hood at gmail.com> wrote:  
 
 Marsha,
I am going to be very presumptive here and offer a reponse on behalf of the many good folks in this community.  The deafening silence you hear is not people avoiding the topic you raised; but people who have been stunned, shamed, and humiliated into silence, not knowing what the proper response is.
The proper response includes NO defenses, or justification. We are all internalizing the intense pain you must have felt. How alone, how powerless, you must have experienced yourself. On behalf of all of us, I offer an abject apology that we weren't present to that pain at the time.
I was so moved by your affirmation of the other gifts of the Order, and your colleagues, in the face of that pain. Thank you for offering that; it provides a glimpse into the healing that has taken place.
I hope that you had the opportunity and experience of confronting this - and resolving it - with your parents. As a parent, I can tell you that the pain of knowing your child suffered something so devastating is only matched by the pain of knowing we failed you in that moment. All the wonderful Order teachings and platitudes about Grace fall away in the face of our children's pain at our own hands.

We appreciate your courage as we wrestle with our own justification. Thank you for sharing; and forgive our inadequate responses.
Cheryl Hood
On Sat, Jul 5, 2025 at 4:09 PM Marsha Hahn via OE <oe at lists.wedgeblade.net> wrote:

 Marilyn,
I so appreciate your thoughtful reply. I'm aware of the silence on the OE listserv since I wrote several days ago. A heaviness has come over me, too. 
Thank you for your deep, honest sharing. I appreciate hearing the intensely compelling things going on in the world and the church that drew you and Joe to the Order. That was a time of awakening and consciousness-raising -- civil rights, war protest, etc. I can see how the OE and EI were a vehicle for living out that new consciousness. 
It sounds like a brave move for you, Judy, and Mimi to make your case to JWM to take your children with you to India. I'm glad the three of you prevailed. I have no doubt that it mattered to you and your kids. 
Thank you again for being so open and honest in your sharing.
Marsha

    On Thursday, July 3, 2025 at 08:53:49 PM PDT, Mari Crocker <maricrocker at gmail.com> wrote:  
 
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