[Oe List ...] 8/26/2021, Progressing Spirit: Rev. Deshna Shine: It is Time for Compassionate Nuanced Conversations, Part 1; Spong revisited
Ellie Stock
elliestock at aol.com
Thu Aug 26 04:57:34 PDT 2021
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It is Time for Compassionate
Nuanced Conversations, Part 1
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| Essay by Rev. Deshna Shine
August 26, 2021Humans have lost the art of nuance.Critical thinking has been reduced to memes and tweets.And I am f#*king exhausted.Okay, maybe it isn’t that extreme. Here I am wanting to discuss the complex topic of nuance and I am starting this column with zero shades of grey. And not even those shades of grey. Sigh.I have always been a middle path kind of gal. But these times in the United States and the world in general are arching ever more toward extremes. Blue or Red. Vaxxer or Anti-Vaxxer. Black or White. Evangelical or Progressive. Right or Left. You know this list is innumerable.It’s easy, even for this middle of the road walker, to get pulled into an epic rivalry of us versus them. I mean… they are just so ignorant!I see bold statements of belief splattered all over social media. I see mass shaming and name calling. Each side of every issue is a breeding ground for narcissism, white guilt, and over identification.Our teenage daughter shares at the dinner table that teens these days don’t get to be in the middle. That it feels there are literally only two sides to every topic. You love that star or you think she is a horrible person. You support that author or you boycott her. You love that music or you cancel that musician.When did we lose the right to be flawed, learning human beings that will never always get it right?Emboldened by a veil of anonymousness, social media platforms are the stage for every ego-centered extremist… and the rest of us, their cheerleaders who follow them, share their posts, applaud with our hearts and emojis, and constantly re-elect them as mayors of our beliefs and likes.This is who I am, we scream, with our fake photos and our two-second shares.Have we lost the art of compassionate nuanced conversation?Ironically, even those of us who are defending the right to nuanced gender and personal identifications get stuck in the cyclic whirlpool of mirroring beliefs and extremism.We grossly debate things we don’t understand. We skim the post sharing an article that we don’t take the time to read, we affirm internally our beliefs we have done little to no research on, and then we publicly declare which side we are on.In reality, the world around us is an infinite rainbow of nuance, complexity, and brilliance! Unlike other animals and living creatures, people are as unique as there are infinite shades of colors in this world. More so, even. We come with these spirits full of experiences and lessons, we come with unique fingerprints, DNA, personalities, likes and dislikes, smells and textures, skin tones, sexualities, body types, talents, and ideas.Our dreams are a waterfall cascade of magical and terrifying psychedelic adventures and narratives which show the diversity of our thoughts and imaginations. And yet… an issue becomes centered publicly and we often revert to just two sides. Again and again. Over and over.Exhausted by the trauma we experience as well as the trauma we subject ourselves to by trolling and scrolling, we have little energy for compassion or patience. We certainly can’t imagine having the energy for a compassionate nuanced conversation with, say, a right wing fundamentalist, or the ex-husband who is spewing anti-vax misinformation to anyone who will listen. I should say something to them, we think, and then, ugh, I just don’t have the energy for a conversation though. And so we scroll some more. Or we pour a glass of wine and start a Netflix binge.But are there really just two sides to most public controversies? Or do we only see those two sides on the media and social media that we begin to believe only those two exist? Are the vast majority of us somewhere in the middle?What about topics like racism which our daughter and her friends have proclaimed, is one of those topics which there is only one way or the other. Is there nuance to discuss there?Of course there is. Within the extremes of racism being, let’s say: bad or good, there is a cacophony of complex history, brainwashing, culture, economics, trauma and more. These all being interwoven with every other issue — climate change, economics, the housing market, religion, culture…Sure, we can agree, most of us reading this newsletter, there are moral values that are simply wrong or right. Racism is wrong.But is the racist bad? Not always! Can we teach them to be better? Yes, but it takes vulnerable conversation and a desire to understand the complexity of the situation… the nuance, let’s say.The toxic patriarchal conception of whiteness is harmful and destructive and has been historically oppressive, violent and racist.. But are white people bad? Not usually. Can white people learn to be anti-racist, non patriarchal allies willing to give up their comfort and their safety for the sake of their human siblings? Yes.Minds will never change when we are just shouting across the field at each other, aiming our weapons and firing.Minds will only change when we come face to face, ask questions, and share vulnerably with a willingness to understand each other and the nuance of the topic. And it's not always about changing minds. More often than not, it is about nudging (rather than shoving) people to consider alternatives, to act more justly, to find more empathy. On social media we shove. In real life, we can practice the nuance of the nudge.Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN Chief Medical Correspondent, shares his experience that one-on-one conversations with friends, family and colleagues are the most effective way of changing minds. “These are the real discussions I have been having with friends and colleagues and I know winning over people in this last camp may be the most difficult of all, because it does involve conversation – possibly a series of ongoing conversations – with loved ones, friends and perhaps a personal physician or trusted pastor, who can talk to the hesitant or reluctant person in a way that resonates with them personally. And victory will be hard won, measured one person at a time.”Tayo Rockson, on Medium, writes, “Growing up in two dictatorships, I saw how governments used these types of binary thinking to advance a message or policy to promote propaganda. It’s how colonialism and slavery grew — divide people into groups and label them enemies before even knowing them or giving them a chance to connect.”Nuance is necessary for conversation and a fuller understanding of an issue. And therein lies our biggest threat to compassionate nuanced conversations. We think we are having conversations on social media. We aren’t. We are in full on battle mode. We are having debates and wars. And texts, comments, likes or dislikes, or posts are not conversations. They just aren’t. They are, as John Herman, of the New York Times describes, performance, announcements, tokens, all of which are limited by the structure of social media which are “conflict machines.”And while we think we are having these conversations and making a difference, in reality we are just traumatizing ourselves further and getting more and more exhausted. Our emotional and energetic reserves are emptied. Borrowed, even, from future reserves.We need to reclaim the fullness of our humanity and our ability to be vulnerable and start talking to real humans, face to face again. We need to have real conversations and for real conversations we need compassion and nuance.To be clear, I am not saying we shouldn’t take a stand on such issues like racism, vaccines, theology, or queer rights. I am not calling for being a so-so person, a safe-in-the-middle-maybe person, a silent majority, a peaceful- avoiding conflict - kind of people. No. I am asking us to be brave and start having real face to face, compassionate, open minded and open hearted conversations again. And again. And… again.The problem is the middle is often too silent. Those of us complaining about the lost nuance have also lost the desire to have nuanced conversations. How many of us just sit here “watching the show” with trepidation?Fundamentalism leaves no space for nuance. But Jesus spent his life as a Rabbi teacher, speaking in and using nuance. Consider the story of the woman at the well, which holds so much nuance and complexity! More on that in Part 2. As progressives, we have to be willing to see things outside the boxes, to ask questions, and to challenge even our own beliefs.Will more shaming or judging open minds? Will closed doors?I fully recognize that some doors need to remain closed and I encourage closing doors and setting boundaries when needed with certain people. Boundaries are a very vital part of healing from trauma, self care, and self love. God willing, those people have others in their lives who are willing to have compassionate nuanced conversations.It takes a lot more time and energy, but I am committing myself to careful research, bravery in conversations, seeking to understand the nuance in any given topic by asking questions and listening with an open mind, and a desire to learn new things and grow. I am committed to making room at the table so conversations can happen.Fatigue makes it hard for us to remember nuance and self compassion. So maybe we can start there. Prioritize rest, self care, and healing. Fill our cups until they flow over. Get off social media. Stop watching the news before bed. Get out of the house and into nature. Exercise, breathe, laugh, dance, sing, make love, receive love, fill our bodies with nourishing food. Rest some more. And then pause.Consider, is my cup full enough to spend energy on that conversation I have been putting off? If you feel a yes, well then by all means call ‘em up. Meet them for tea. Ask questions and be curious. Listen with an open mind and heart. If they are able to listen as well, share only what you know about. Share without name calling, without shaming, without the need to be right. Then go home, sage yourself and your space, drink a big glass of water, shake it off and let it go. Nap some more.It will take many of these small steps but it’s the only way forward.~ Rev. Deshna Shine
Read online here
About the Author
Rev. Deshna Shine is Project Director of ProgressiveChristianity.org’s Children’s Curriculum. She is an ordained Interfaith Minister, author, international speaker, and visionary. She grew up in a thriving progressive Christian church and has worked in the field for over 13 years. She graduated from UCSB with a major in Religious Studies and a minor in Global Peace and Security. She was Executive Director of ProgressiveChristianity.org, Executive Producer of Embrace Festival and has co-authored the novel, Missing Mothers. Deshna is passionate about sacred community, nourishing children spiritually and transforming Christianity through a radically inclusive lens. |
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Question & Answer
Q: By A Reader
My husband of 38 years is a quiet fundamentalist. Everyday he listens to podcasts by J. Vernon Magee and Alastair Begg, two Bible literalists. He subscribes to Charles Stanley literature. I am a progressive Christian, although when I use the word “Christian” it carries a nuance with it that I’m not comfortable with. Whenever we have tried to discuss our beliefs I get attacked. I’ve also been told I’m going to Hell because I do not have a “personal relationship with Jesus” whatever that really means. I think all religions have merit and I can’t stand the “us” against “them” mentality that goes along with being “saved”. I have read many books that have opened my eyes about dogmatic religion and he refuses to read anything but fundamentalist articles.
My question is: How do I not perceive my loving husband as ignorant? He’s so intelligent otherwise that I don’t understand how he can believe in the Bible as a literal history.
A: By Brian D. McLaren
Dear Reader,Thanks for this question. I think many people will feel a resonance with similar situations in their own families, whether with a spouse, a parent, or a child.Before I try to respond to your question, I can’t help but mention a tension within it. You called your husband “loving” and “intelligent otherwise.” But your husband also “attacks” and tells you that you’re going to hell. That is an incongruity many people experience, I think. Their partner, parent, or child is loving in general, but becomes the least loving when religious beliefs are the subject of discussion.The idea of multiple belonging helps me understand your husband’s behavior. Your husband “belongs” to your marriage, but he also belongs to the community of fundamentalist Christianity. He demonstrates his loyalty to that community by the teachers he chooses - and the influences he rejects. Being married to you is, in a sense, out of sync with his membership in that community, and to avoid conflict with you, he is usually “quiet” about his membership.Whenever you criticize his beliefs, he feels an acute conflict of loyalty. He is loyal to you, and to fundamentalist community. So he defends his community and its beliefs against what must feel to him like attacks by you … attacks on his community, which is part of his identity, which is part of him.So, here’s what I’d recommend, put very briefly in three steps. First, try to feel some empathy with your husband and especially with his predicament of multiple belonging. This should be easier when you realize you experience this tension too. You belong to progressive Christian (and other) circles whose beliefs are in conflict with your husband’s beliefs. That tension causes you pain.Second, once you feel that empathy, stop criticizing your husband’s beliefs. Understand that every criticism will feel like an attack, and every attack will engender a defensive or offensive response.
Third, after cultivating empathy and desisting from criticism, try to show genuine curiosity. That doesn’t meaning asking, “How can an intelligent person like you believe such ridiculous things?” It means asking, “Tell me how it used to feel for you when I used to criticize some of your deeply held beliefs. I’m curious. I really want to understand.” If you want to talk about beliefs (again, only after spending significant time in the first two steps), stay away from argument. Instead, show sincere curiosity, “Tell me how you first came to believe in literal six-day creationism. Tell me what benefits it brings you. Tell me how your life would change if you lost this belief.” Again, this can’t be as a gotcha set-up, where he is vulnerable and you pounce.Through this process, I think you’ll come to understand that your husband isn’t ignorant. He’s human, and his beliefs are framed less by reason than by belonging to groups in which those beliefs are essential. If you’re interested in more on this subject, you might find the first six episodes of my podcast Learning How to See to be helpful.~ Brian D. McLaren
Read and share online here
About the Author
Brian D. McLaren is an author, speaker, activist, and public theologian. A former college English teacher and pastor, he is an Auburn Senior Fellow and a leader in the Convergence Network, through which he is developing an innovative training/mentoring program for pastors, church planters, and lay leaders called Convergence Leadership Project. He works closely with the Center for Progressive Renewal/Convergence, the Wild Goose Festival and the Fair Food Program‘s Faith Working Group. His most recent book is Faith After Doubt. He is the author of the illustrated children’s book (for all ages) called Cory and the Seventh Story, The Great Spiritual Migration, We Make the Road by Walking, and Why Did Jesus, Moses, the Buddha, and Mohammed Cross the Road? Brian is a popular conference speaker and a frequent guest lecturer for denominational and ecumenical leadership gatherings. He has written for or contributed interviews to many periodicals, including Leadership, Sojourners, Tikkun, Worship Leader, and Conversations and is a frequent guest on television, radio, and news media programs. |
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Bishop John Shelby Spong Revisited
Examining the Meaning of the Cross, Part IV:
The Symbols of the Hebrew Scriptures in the Crucifixion
Essay by Bishop John Shelby Spong
March 24, 2011The first narrative account of Jesus’ crucifixion in the Bible is found in the gospel of Mark written some 40-43 years, or approximately two generations, after the events it purports to describe. You may read it in Mark 14:17-15:47. It does not claim to be an eye witness account. Indeed it draws most of its details not from anyone’s memory, but from the Hebrew Scriptures. It is clearly an interpretive account designed to see the death of Jesus as the fulfillment of Jewish messianic hopes.
The two major sources from which Mark has crafted his story of the crucifixion are Psalm 22 and Isaiah 53. We are generally familiar with these details primarily because we are familiar with Mark’s passion story. Our awareness of the original sources, however, is generally quite limited. From Psalm 22, Mark draws the only words that he claims Jesus spoke from the cross. Psalm 22:1 says: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Psalm 22 then goes on to say in verses 7 and 8, “All that see me laugh me to scorn. They shoot out their lips and they shake their heads saying, ‘He trusted in the Lord that he would deliver him. Let him deliver him seeing he delighted in him.’” Compare these words with Mark 15:29, “They that passed by railed on him, wagging their heads and saying, ‘Ah, thou that destroyest the Temple and buildest it in three days, save thyself and come down from the cross….He saved others; himself he cannot save. Let Christ the King of Israel come down from the cross that we may see and believe’.”
Psalm 22 continues with these words, “I am poured out like water. All my bones are out of joint…My tongue cleaveth to my jaws…They pierced my hands and feet…I may tell all my bones.” All of these images and ideas are written into Mark’s story of the cross and they grow in form through the other synoptic accounts. When John writes his version of the crucifixion almost thirty-five years after Mark, he has Jesus cry, “I thirst” and he attests to the fact that none of his bones were broken.
Psalm 22 goes on to say (v. 18) “They part my garments among them and cast lots upon my vesture.” Mark writes in 15:24: “And when they had crucified him, they parted his garments, casting lots upon them what every man should take.” No, Jesus did not miraculously fulfill the “predictions” of the Hebrew Scriptures in some predestined way, as I was once taught in my fundamentalist Sunday school, the gospels rather were written with the Hebrew Scriptures open and the gospel writers conformed their memory of Jesus to fit the expectations of those scriptures, which enabled them to interpret him in the light of these Jewish expectations. Mark’s original passion narrative is thus not the report of an eye witness to the crucifixion at all. It is, rather, an example of how the disciples of Jesus searched the Jewish scriptures for clues that they could use to prove that Jesus was in fact the expected messiah. We are not dealing with history in the story of Jesus’ passion, but with interpretive material drawn from the Hebrew Scriptures.
The other favorite passage from the Old Testament that was used to illumine the entire Jesus experience in general, but the story of the crucifixion in particular, was what we now call “the servant passages” from II Isaiah (40-55). Much of that text is also familiar to us not because we have read Isaiah, but because George Frederick Handel drew from it as the basis of his magnificent oratorio known as “Messiah.” The best known images from this section of Isaiah’s servant passages are found in chapter 53. Mark’s narrative of the crucifixion shows a deep compatibility with this part of II Isaiah’s work. “He was wounded for our transgressions…by his stripes we are healed.” These are among the familiar words from Isaiah 53. “He was despised, rejected, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” are also words said of the “servant”, but they have been applied so deeply to Jesus that most of us think these words were actually written about Jesus. II Isaiah says of the Servant that he was “numbered with the transgressors.” I am convinced that it was from this reference that the story of Jesus being crucified between two thieves or malefactors was derived. It is interesting to watch the story of these two thieves develop. In Mark their presence is noted, but they are not quoted as having said anything. In Matthew, a decade later, both of them revile Jesus and pour out hostility on him. By the time we come to Luke, perhaps a decade later, only one thief reviles him while the other in penitence is made to say to Jesus: “Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Later in Isaiah 53, we are told that the servant “made his grave with a rich man.” From this reference, I believe, came the developed story of Joseph of Arimathea who was said to be a ruler of the Jews and thus a rich man. To portray Jesus as having been buried in Joseph’s tomb served two purposes. First, it “fulfilled the scriptures” and second it covered the embarrassment of the apostolic abandonment, which was so real it could not have been denied, with a proper burial.
Another indication that we are not dealing with eye witness history in this narrative comes a bit earlier in Mark’s text when he announces that when Jesus was arrested, “all of his disciples forsook him and fled.” Please note the text of Mark says “all” not “some.” It is hard even today, but necessary if we are to engage the Jesus story honestly, to face the high probability that Jesus died alone. There was no eye witness tradition that the gospel writers could draw on about the crucifixion because there were no eyewitnesses.
The final evidence that this first narrative of the cross was not history comes from a deeper analysis of Mark’s whole passion story. It is divided into eight three-hour segments. The hours are marked and are meant to be noted. It is written in a twenty-four hour format. Let me trace it.
In 14:17 Mark notes that “when evening came they were gathered in one place” for the Passover meal. The phrase “when evening came” means that Mark was telling us that it was approximately 6 p.m. on the day we now call Maundy Thursday. We know from other Jewish sources that the Passover meal normally included the extended family and it lasted about three hours. That measure of time included games, the meal itself and the recitation of Israel’s historical beginnings, usually told by the male patriarch in response to the question, “Father, why is this night different from all other nights?” asked by the youngest male child. The Passover ended with a hymn and the gathered family members then left for their own homes.
Mark tells us in this first segment of the passion of Jesus, that at the end of the meal they sang a hymn and departed into the night. It is thus now 9 p.m. We are then told that Jesus and his disciples went into the Garden of Gethsemane, where it was said that Jesus took three of his disciples to “watch” with him while he prayed. They were, however, unable to perform this duty without falling asleep. Indeed they could not watch with him one, two or three hours. The second segment of the twenty-four hours was thus over.
Jesus then comes out of the garden to meet Judas and the contingent of solders from the Temple guard. It is midnight. The darkest deed in human history is to take place at the darkest hour of the night. Jesus is then taken to the Sanhedrin for interrogation. This interrogation takes us from midnight to 3 a.m. The third segment of the vigil is complete.
The period of the night between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. was called “Cockcrow.” Into this segment, Mark has installed the story of Peter’s threefold denial before the “cock crowed,” presumably one denial for each hour. Then right on cue, Mark says, “When morning came,” which means it is now 6 a.m. Here Mark tells us the details of the trial before Pilate; the introduction of Barabbas; the torture, and the mocking purple robe and crown of thorns.
Mark then says “it was at the third hour” or 9 a.m., when they crucified him. At the sixth hour or 12 noon Mark says “darkness covered the whole earth.” It lasted, not surprisingly, for three hours. At 3 p.m. Jesus uttered, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” and died or as the Elizabethan translation we call the King James Version says, “He gave up the ghost.”
>From 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. we hear of the negotiations of Joseph of Arimathea to bury him in his tomb, a task that is completed before the sun goes down to mark the beginning of the Sabbath, the day of rest.
Two things become obvious in this study. First, most of the familiar details of the crucifixion story are not eye witness accounts of things that actually happened. They are rather interpretive accounts based upon the Hebrew Scriptures in which Jesus is seen, despite the fact that he had been crucified, as the anticipated messiah. Second, they were not written to describe what actually happened, but to lead worshippers to new insights through a twenty-four hour liturgical vigil. Just as the Jews had marked the beginning of their life as the people of God with a three-hour liturgical celebration known to us as “The Passover,” so Christians decided to mark the beginning of their life as a distinct people called to a new relationship with God in which they found salvation with a matching liturgical act. In the process they stretched the three hour Passover into a twenty-four hour vigil. What we are reading as Mark’s story of Jesus’ passion is a liturgical rite in which they could relive the last events in the life of one they believed was messiah and through whom they were convinced that they saw God in a dramatically new way.
We have been blinded to the holiest moments in our faith story by our failure to grasp the fact that the story of the cross is not literal, but interpretive. Its purpose was not to tell us how Jesus died, but who Jesus was and how his death revealed that. Armed with this clue, we can enter an entirely new dimension of the Bible itself.~ John Shelby Spong |
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