[Oe List ...] [Dialogue] The completed life of Rob Duffy

Tue May 17 19:27:21 PDT 2016

Dear OE Colleagues,

When our son, Ben, informed us last week of an e-mail message from his longtime friend, David Duffy, reporting that Rob had died, we were shocked, then deeply saddened.  Rob and Ann were two of the strongest leader-participants in the first ITI in Singapore in 1969.  They partnered with the staff to ensure that the program was a success with their unwavering “can do” stance – a posture we came to know was a mark of all our Australian colleagues in the ITI that summer, and also a year later when we and our infant twins were assigned from Singapore to the Sydney House in October 1970.

Rob’s leadership style was mature, quiet strength, grounded deeply in an understanding of TWLI (RSI). He never needed to “prove” himself, nor did he ever engage in the kind of competition I observed among our younger colleagues.  He and Ann were committed to our common mission, wherever and whenever, and stood as an example of possibility often when others only saw impossibility.

Since David was perhaps 6 months older than our twins, Ann adeptly guided me through the ever changing phases of new motherhood in 1970-71, suggesting when to shift from infant food to junior food, when to shift from formula to boiled milk, then to whole milk as well as what shots were needed at what times.  

Ann and I were assigned to “prior” the Summer ’71 Children’s Camp in Perth, leaving our 3 infants – David, Ben and Jon – in the good care of Jeanette Stanfield in Sydney.  As we took a bus trip across the continent, breakfasting at one point on the Null Abor, we assiduously recruited colleagues on the bus like wonderful John Hutchinson, Julie Braithwaite, Pat Smith and others who had intended to be participants in the adult program, but who chose to work with us as teachers at the camp.  That was the summer that we had a number of children from Mowanjum, many of whom had chronic dysentery and then experienced other disruptions because they were far from home.  Ann was the “Saint” of the “littlees”, as she called them, and the rest of us dealt with the older kids.  What a wonderful summer it was!

In 1994 when Joe began his last appointment to the Washington Park UMC in Providence, RI, David Duffy was visiting Ben and they helped us move into our home in RI. We had lots of opportunities to “hang out”, while moving boxes and enjoying time on the patio. I was deeply impressed with David, as a secular spirit man, deeply grounded in RSI, but utterly open, welcoming and conversant with a new age.

I mention this as a powerful legacy of Rob and Ann’s parenting – teaching but not forcing, modelling but not imposing, inquiring but always being receptive. 

I realize in all that I have written about Rob, it is inextricably related to his life with his wonderful wife Ann.  And why not!   What a blessing you both have been together and continue to be.

Grace, peace and love

Marilyn and Joe

From: OE [mailto:oe-bounces at lists.wedgeblade.net] On Behalf Of via OE
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2016 1:39 PM
To: Jack Gilles; Tracy Longacre via OE; Frank Cookingham via Dialogue
Subject: Re: [Oe List ...] [Dialogue] The completed life of Rob Duffy

We remember Rob the best for his amazing assistance during our time in Tonga.  He was there for the training schools, and was always interested in and helpful to us all in journeying our Tonga colleagues and ourselves in a very isolated place.  We knew we could always depend on him.  At the end of one training event, we took the ferry back to Tongatapu.  It was 12 – 15 hours on an open deck with hardly any shelter.  Rob’s back was hurting him terribly, and he sat bolt upright on a cement post for the whole trip.  I will always remember him as being a pillar of dedication and determination.  Our love to Ann and the family.  Clare & Ken Whitney

From: Jack Gilles via Dialogue <mailto:dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>  

Sent: Monday, May 16, 2016 10:32 AM

To: Tracy Longacre via OE <mailto:oe at lists.wedgeblade.net>  ; Frank Cookingham via Dialogue <mailto:Dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>  

Subject: Re: [Dialogue] The completed life of Rob Duffy

Oh my, what a man! I have such fond memories of both Rob and Ann at summer programs and Priors meetings. They were part of the remarkable spirit colleagues that came from Australia. I am so grateful to have know him and I have such gratitude for his greatness. My prayers are for Ann and all the rest of our beautiful colleagues from “down under”. Blessings to you all. The Australian Southern Cross has another star in it if you look real close. 

Grace and Peace,

Jack

On May 16, 2016, at 11:02 AM, John Ballard via Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net> wrote:

We are sad to hear this news.  Rob was such a distinguished gentleman but when we saw him with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up ready to get to work, we knew he was an exceptional colleague.  He and Ann were always so kind and helpful to us:  both in Chicago and when Rob was prior at the nexus in Hong Kong while we were at Nam Wai HDP.   Blessings and love to Ann and all the family.  You have always been special to us.   

Grace and peace,

Jack, Louise, Chris and Peter

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