[Oe List ...] Remembering Barbara

Sat Jun 15 16:36:04 PDT 2013

What a great tribute to Bill and Barbara, Marilyn. It really captures the
way I remember them.

Thank you and please give my best to dear Joe.

Love,
Joyce

On Sat, Jun 15, 2013 at 5:23 PM, George Holcombe <grholcombe at gmail.com>wrote:

> Thank you, Marilyn.  I first knew Bill in the New Orleans Cadre, and
> Barbara at 3444. They never gave up.
>
>
> George Holcombe
> 14900 Yellowleaf Tr.
> Austin, TX 78728
> Mobile 512/252-2756
>
> “...we have the choice: we can gratefully cultivate the relationships that
> make us part of a vast network, or we can take them for granted and allow
> them to wither and die.”  Brother David Steindl-Rast, Deeper than Words
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
> On Jun 15, 2013, at 5:01 PM, "Marilyn Crocker" <marilyncrocker at juno.com>
> wrote:
>
> Dear Pat and family,****
>
> ** **
>
> You and I communicated in 2011 at the time of Bill’s passing, and again,
> may I extend my condolences to you on the loss of Barbara, one terrific
> lady.****
>
> ** **
>
> I first met Barb in 1968 on the West Side of Chicago when my husband, Joe,
> and I arrived for an “intern year” with the Ecumenical Institute – a
> commitment that extended for 22 more years as we became members of the
> Order Ecumenical.  Barb was then Barbara Pouler, and I’m not sure she had
> yet even met Bill.  The EI staff lived in the former Bethany Seminary, just
> off the Eisenhower Expressway, and there always seemed to be “repairs and
> improvements” necessary.  As part of our discipline, we had quarterly “work
> weekends” when we scraped and painted and transformed the spaces used by
> participants in regular weekend courses as well as apartments used by staff
> families.  Barb and I were often assigned to the same “team” and her
> company and philosophical conversations made those long, laborious hours so
> full of delight for me – always replete with lots of laughter.  Barb helped
> me to mollify my tendency to take *everything* so seriously.****
>
> ** **
>
> In 1976 I had the treat of being assigned to work with Barb and Bill in
> Kreutsburg Ost, Germany and El Bayad, Egypt, where my role was to train
> them to take over two of the leadership roles Joe and I had played the year
> before in facilitating the first 8 Human Development Consults.  What a gift
> they were  --and such a pair of “quick studies” in the complex research and
> planning processes of the week-long consult in the local community, plus
> another week writing the summary document – a key tool for garnering
> funding for the local socio-economic renewal projects – Barb with her
> easy-going “well let’s think this through another way” approach, and Bill
> with his proactive “let’s get moving or we’ll never pull this off!”  I
> loved them both so much and consider the 2+ months I worked with them a
> treasure – even tho’ that “assignment” had required that I leave Maliwada
> village in India (and my husband and 5 year-old twin sons) just three weeks
> after we had arrived from NYC!  I’m sure Bill and Barb filled you in over
> the years on those quick-turnaround responses to “the mission.”****
>
> ** **
>
> What I beheld in Bill and Barbara’s relationship was akin to what I have
> been blessed with – true and unconditional love.  My husband, Joe, 14 years
> my senior, and now 85, is wrestling with progressive memory loss; Bill was
> 10 years younger than Barb, and must have mourned the loss of her presence
> and spark as his partner in so many activities, especially after she
> entered the long term care facility. I hope her last days were comfortable,
> and that her two years without Bill had some significant meaning and
> spiritual substance.  I say this without knowing at all what her illness or
> frailty was, but believing that if such were within reach, she would
> embrace it.****
>
> ** **
>
> When Bill and Barb visited us here in West Newfield, ME about 10 years
> ago, they gifted us with a lovely Crate and Barrel bowl – far more generous
> than the usual overnight guest’s gift.  I fill it with bananas, grapes,
> strawberries, tomatoes – variously, whatever the season – and always think
> of them.  The other image from their visit is a funny one:  at that time
> our guest room was on the first floor (now it is on the 2nd with queen
> sized bed and private bath) and the old fashioned double bed only allowed
> one night table with lamp in the far corner – plus the guests would have to
> trek to the bathroom through the living room and the dining room!  Ever the
> one to care responsibly for space requirements *and* intellectual
> pursuits, Barb asked me – “So, kiddo, how will Bill (who chose to sleep on
> the side near the door in order to get to the bathroom quickly) be able to
> read HIS book if we’ve only got one light?”  We immediately hooked up a
> floor lamp. J****
>
> ** **
>
> That is such the Barb Alerding I love!!****
>
> ** **
>
> Please know that as long as many of us continue “on this mortal plain,” I
> will hold Barbara before us as one of the first “new” women – of the ilk
> that have, indeed, shaped history.****
>
> ** **
>
> With love and appreciation,****
>
> ** **
>
> Marilyn****
>
> ** **
>
> Marilyn R. Crocker, Ed.D****
>
> 123 Sanborn Rd****
>
> West Newfield, ME 04095****
>
> ** **
>
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