<html><body><div style="color:#000; background-color:#fff; font-family:times new roman, new york, times, serif;font-size:12pt"><div><span>This one is for keeps. I'm still laughing!</span></div><div><span><br></span></div><div><br></div> <div style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 12pt; "> <div style="font-family: 'times new roman', 'new york', times, serif; font-size: 12pt; "> <div dir="ltr"> <font size="2" face="Arial"> <hr size="1"> <b><span style="font-weight:bold;">From:</span></b> Alice Baumbach <abaumbach@new.rr.com><br> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;">To:</span></b> dialogue@lists.wedgeblade.net <br> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sent:</span></b> Tuesday, July 24, 2012 9:51 AM<br> <b><span style="font-weight: bold;">Subject:</span></b> Re: [Dialogue] Weigel said it was Nat'l old joke day<br> </font> </div> <br>
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<div class="yiv1294507260moz-cite-prefix">Another one for old folks!<br>
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<div><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Several days ago as I left a meeting at a
hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.</span></span></div>
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<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">I
was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A
quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Suddenly
I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically,
I headed for the parking lot.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">My
wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the
ignition.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">My
theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Her
theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through
the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Her
theory was right. The parking lot was empty.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">I
immediately called the police. I gave them my location,
confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it
had been stolen.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Then
I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey,"</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">I
stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">"I
left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">There
was a period of silence. I thought the call had been
dropped, but then I heard her voice.</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">"Idiot,"
she barked, "I dropped you off!"</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Now
it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well,
come and get me."</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">She
retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I
have not stolen your car."</span></span></div>
<div class="yiv1294507260MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: x-small; "><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: 10pt; ">Yep
it's the golden years.</span></span></div>
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On 7/23/2012 10:25 PM, <a rel="nofollow" class="yiv1294507260moz-txt-link-abbreviated" ymailto="mailto:KarenBueno@aol.com" target="_blank" href="mailto:KarenBueno@aol.com">KarenBueno@aol.com</a> wrote:<br>
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<div><font style="FONT-SIZE:11pt;" face="Arial">Games For The
Elderly<br>
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1. Sag, You're it<br>
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy<br>
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear<br>
4. Kick the bucket<br>
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over<br>
6. Doc Goose<br>
7. Simon says something incoherent<br>
8. Hide and go pee<br>
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta<br>
10. Musical recliners<br>
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