[Dialogue] Aging options

Wed Apr 9 13:18:02 PDT 2025

Dear Jim,

Thank you for sharing some of your journey. There are indeed so many factors at play. May we each find our way to be happy and serve others as long as we can. Bonnie and I are starting a conversation about aging in place with four other families in our HOA of 34 families. We'll see where it goes. I am learning from what you, Ellie, Vera, Terry, Jo, and others are sharing. Let's keep the dialogue going.

Best wishes,

Rob

Robertson Work
Books and bio<https://www.amazon.com/Robertson-Work/e/B075612GBF>    Essays on Substack<https://robertsonwork.substack.com/>    Videos and articles<https://www.globalcompassioncoalition.org/author/robertson-work/>    Interviews and poetry<https://www.globalheart2heart.com/a-compassionate-civilization-creating-a-new-future-now/?fbclid=IwAR2EAy4c64wCRzlzUCzVKXokqce3hePofFvzdzvCM5aDYRb9QgdFyQPUyxU>

________________________________
From: James Wiegel <jfwiegel at yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, April 9, 2025 1:32 AM
To: Ellie Stock <elliestock at aol.com>; ICA Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>; Frank Knutson via OE <oe at lists.wedgeblade.net>
Cc: Robertson Work <warkers at msn.com>
Subject: Re: [Dialogue] Aging options

Jim Wiegel here.  Great question, Rob, great responses Ellie and Vera.  Would be great to hear more.

Judy and I are still at home, the only one we ever purchased and it is quite life giving to us.  Our plan is to stay here while we are able to keep up the gardening and work.  At the moment we have one grandchild here with us working to save money for college and are expecting her brother (just graduated from university in Germany) later in the month, also looking for work.  One son and grandsons live here in the Phoenix area and we get together for Sunday dinners at our house.

We visited the elder place where Tom and Connie Reemtsma are staying and went for a site visit to a place in central Phoenix called Beatitudes.  We are trying to get familiar with some options before our next place is necessary.

Here is the thing.  Our kids are thinking about retirement!!  So, the little cottage for us on Jenny and Winston's lot in Managua isn't going to get built . . .

That is as far as we are -- only 79 -- so we still have time to consider!

Wanda Holcombe is in a 55plus community that she is really excited about in Texas.

Jim Wiegel <http://partnersinparticipation.com/james-wiegel/>

The unknown is what is.  And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that.  Unknown is what is.  Accept that it's unknown, and it's plain sailing.    John Lennon

401 North Beverly Way, Tolleson, Arizona 85353

623-363-3277

jfwiegel at yahoo.com<mailto:marilyn.oyler at gmail.com>

www.partnersinparticipation.com<http://www.partnersinparticipation.com/>

On Tuesday, April 8, 2025 at 05:25:24 PM MST, Robertson Work via Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net> wrote:

Dear Ellie,

Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. It is a remarkable story of a life rich in learning, creativity, connections, and service to others.

Best wishes in the years ahead,

Rob

Robertson Work
Books and bio<https://www.amazon.com/Robertson-Work/e/B075612GBF>    Essays on Substack<https://robertsonwork.substack.com/>    Videos and articles<https://www.globalcompassioncoalition.org/author/robertson-work/>    Interviews and poetry<https://www.globalheart2heart.com/a-compassionate-civilization-creating-a-new-future-now/?fbclid=IwAR2EAy4c64wCRzlzUCzVKXokqce3hePofFvzdzvCM5aDYRb9QgdFyQPUyxU>
________________________________
From: Ellie Stock <elliestock at aol.com>
Sent: Tuesday, April 8, 2025 7:24 PM
To: ICA Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net>; Frank Knutson via OE <oe at lists.wedgeblade.net>
Cc: Robertson Work <warkers at msn.com>
Subject: Re: [Dialogue] Aging options

Hi Robertson,

Thanks for sharing your wisdom, writings, your poems and your question re aging.  Below is my response regarding your question on our journey on aging.

Carleton is 81 and I turned 80 in December.  We started thinking about where we wanted to be in 2021 during the ICA list serve book study on Choosing Earth, by Duane Elgin, which among other questions, posed the question of where we need to be during this time of Climate Crisis.  At that time, we were living in St. Louis (in the Ferguson area), retired from the pastorate for 10 years, and focusing on building community to address ecological and racial justice issues. We first considered moving closer to our family so we could support each other if and when times got tougher.  Pittsburgh, near our oldest child, a daughter and her family, was a first option, since we lived there for almost 18 years before St. Louis, knew the area, and also had friends there.  We were thinking perhaps of living in the neighborhood of a very progressive church we had occasionally attended and where our second daughter, then working overseas, was a member.  The more we thought about it, the more we realized we didn't want to buy another house (the one in St Louis was the only one we had bought and was paid off) or condo or live in an apartment building.  That neighborhood had gentrified and was now very expensive.  We also decided we wanted to be part of a supportive and active community.  We had friends who lived in a senior community north of Pittsburgh.  They said being there was their gift to their children who wouldn't have to worry about taking care of them or their healthcare.  We had never before considered living in a senior community.  This one was a quiet gated community in its own enclave but surrounded by a very busy, heavily-trafficked suburban area.  You would need a car to go anywhere.

We almost signed on there until we learned about Kendal at Oberlin, a progressive senior community in Oberlin, OH, about a mile from Oberlin College (can audit classes free) in the heart of town, and within walking distance (at least now) of stores, art museum, historical society, library, and the college.  It is a welcoming, not-for-profit CCRC or Life Care community and is not a gated community.  It is not religiously affiliated but is based on Quaker Values ("SPLICES": Simplicity, Peace, Love, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship/Sustainability) and is part of a larger Kendal network. It has a heavy focus on environmental sustainability (a work in progress), life-long learning, the arts, recreation, and well-being.  There is no "social director."  Programs are initiated, created, and coordinated by the residents.  The residents are almost all Democrats (not diverse that way) and emphasize social justice within and beyond the community.  It is a place where folks go, not to die, but to thrive and continue living and serving to their full capacities, given age and health abilities.

It's a community of about 330 residents (about a100 of whom participated in last Saturday's Hands Off Rally in Oberlin for which 2 buses and carpools were provided as well as materials to make signs.).  Coming from living in an almost all African American Community, Kendal is not diverse racially--just a handful of Black and Asian residents.  It has a strong LGBTQ+ community and is mostly very educated population.  So, yes, we miss the racial, economic, educational, and political diversity of our previous living locations but that is provided by the surrounding community and county.

>From Sept-June, weekly schedules include life-long learning, health and exercise classes (tai chi, yoga, water aerobics, balance, etc.), lectures, 4 dance groups (Line Dancing, English Country Dancing, Square/Contra Dancing, Rollater Dancing--live band for the last three), Music Groups (choir, band, bells, recorder) concerts (resident musicians as well as students/faculty from the Oberlin Conservatory and College, quarterly art exhibits on hallway walls, sports (e.g., tennis, pickleball, table tennis, swimming), readers plays, meetings of any of 70+ groups and committees, movies, and other special events and programs.  Residents also engage in many volunteer activities within and beyond Kendal: helping with Assisted Living residents, working with the on-campus childcare center children and staff, serving at the Art Museum, Historical Society, Oberlin Community Services, Oberlin College, etc. Before we came here, we decided to continue our work related to the environment and Indigenous Peoples and, since arriving, have become active in the Environmental Concerns Committee which connects with the larger Oberlin area and beyond (started a monthly environmental film/conversation event), the Indigenous Peoples Interest Group (which also connects with Oberlin College, Oberlin, and beyond), and a Protecting Democracy Group which links up with various community and county groups.  Weekly and monthly newsletters, daily TV Kendal station and other announcements keep people informed.  There is also a literary journal, "Eureka!" published 3x/year.  One of my poems will be included in this May's edition.  The campus is a Level II Arboretum with ponds and wildlife.

After two plus years on the Priority List, a cottage was available.  We downsized, sold our house and last June moved into an 1100 Sq ft 1 bedroom, 1 den, living room/sunroom cottage.  The  open design, floor to ceiling windows, light colors makes the place feel spacious and bright.  There are various meal plans.  We usually have breakfast and lunch in the cottage and dinner in the main building dining room.  We eat with different people every night and meals are usually filled with lively conversation.  Post the election and "coronation" of this administration, times have also been created for folks to come together to share their concerns.  We have taken advantage of the on campus medical care which has been convenient.  What can't be done here is referred elsewhere.

Since deciding to move here, our younger daughter, who had been serving overseas, relocated with her family to the Cleveland area where our son and his family also live.  My sister/family also live within a half hour.  We attend a progressive Presbyterian Church (USA) Congregation (a Sanctuary church--figuring out what that means now) where our daughter/son and families (our youngest grandchildren attend.)  It is 50 minutes away but provides almost weekly connection with our family as well as a very active, serving justice congregation.  We also connect with the local UCC congregation for environmental issues and other programs.

So, that's our story.  So far, it's been a good fit for us and has provided many avenues of service within and beyond the community and a way to connect with others to engage in efforts and movements to try to address the chaos, turbulence and possibilities of these times.

Grace and peace ~

Ellie [Emoji] [Emoji]
elliestock at aol.com

On Tuesday, April 8, 2025 at 12:28:56 PM EDT, Robertson Work via Dialogue <dialogue at lists.wedgeblade.net> wrote:

Dear colleagues,

How are you aging? Bonnie and I are considering options of aging in place where we are, or downsizing and then aging in place, or moving into a senior community. What have you done? How do you find it? Any lessons or advice to give? What are you planning to do?

Best wishes,

Rob

Robertson Work
Books and bio<https://www.amazon.com/Robertson-Work/e/B075612GBF>    Essays on Substack<https://robertsonwork.substack.com/>    Videos and articles<https://www.globalcompassioncoalition.org/author/robertson-work/>    Interviews and poetry<https://www.globalheart2heart.com/a-compassionate-civilization-creating-a-new-future-now/?fbclid=IwAR2EAy4c64wCRzlzUCzVKXokqce3hePofFvzdzvCM5aDYRb9QgdFyQPUyxU>
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