[Dialogue] Birthday Witness

[Richard Alton]

*The Day of the Dead*

I am writing this witness on this 2021 Day of the Dead as I am prepare for
my 80th birthday witness. It seems an appropriate time as I enter, what is
likely, my last decade. And the movie Coco (animated film about the Land of
the Dead) had such a profound impact on me about what it means to honor the
dead and prepare them to return from the Land of the Dead. You must have
their picture on your desk or on your wall. The key to coming back from the
Land of the Dead is knowing you are being remembered. I now have my Mom and
Dad’s picture on my desk.

            Maybe more importantly, death has had a major impact in my last
couple of years. But ever since reading the Carlos Castaneda quote, “When
you need an answer look over your left shoulder and ask your death…. death
is the only wise advisor we have”, I have been fascinated by death.

            I have always done something special on entering a new decade
and, somehow, each has had something to do with a ‘death defining’ event.

While celebrating my *50th birthday* I was in Zambia staying with the
Bergdalls. They decided to help me celebrate my 50th by giving me a gift:
free white water rafting down the Zambezi River. Should have known better
when they said you first had to practice falling out of the raft in a
swimming pool and explained the river is incredible, a class 5 rapids (only
goes up to 5), rushing with many hidden dangers. And we practiced a dead
man’s float. The guidebook said it was considered Extreme Entertainment.
Plus, to get us in the right readiness, the guides told us about people
they had lost in the last week. To say this was a life changing experience
of living on the edge would put it mildly… but I made it.

And then there was my *70th in Nepal*. Sally and two of our friends went
four days early to the ICA Global Conference in Katmandu. My daughter, the
travel planner said we would love walking the Himalayan Mountains foothills
with guides and Sherpas (the guys who carry your bags). We chose the
Annapurna area to go trekking along the foothills. We started talking about
20,000 feet (where you need additional oxygen) but kept lowering the height
till we decided to go to 6,000 feet. Did well going up. But then on the
third day it was time to come down. The new, added ingredient was rain-
heavy rain. The trail is just rocks, but now wet and slippery- going down
was twice as hard with death defying drops. I barely made it down.

So, you can see my decade celebrations have turned out to be wild
adventures that brought me to the edge of my life experiences. But this 80th
decade decided to bring its own life-edge experiences. My partner Sally
Stovall’s death was an awesome experience into the mystery of life. To mark
this experience, a group of friends helped design a program for people
dealing with death. Seva Gandhi was critical as a master of a zoom/google
drive that allows for dialogue and a highly engaging process. The support
team is Pam Bergdall, Cheryl Kartes and Mary D’Souza. I just wrote a note
on the Last Chapter Program I would like to share- it is the results of
focusing on our death.

*The Last Chapter Program*

*Shaping my relationship to the mystery of my death and, therefore, my life*
.

In 2020, we prepared a four-session program that would help people think
through their aspirations for the later part of their life. This pilot
program has guided seventy-two people from 5 different countries in 4
different cohorts: two in 2020 and two in 2021 There are currently 5 people
who are coaches for the course. After 2021 we anticipate offering the
program to the public. The demand to look at what some call “a real
spiritual deficit in our society” is enormous. Before I die, what do I want
to accomplish? Let’s be serious about this one life we have.

*The What:* We are piloting a workshop/seminar or series, that would allow
people (no matter what age) to think seriously and intentionally about
their final journey in life, their death, and make concrete decisions about
their funeral/memorial service, organ or body donation, distribution of
assets, obituary, burial/ cremation/ natural, etc. The course allows for
many small groups which is conducive to listening to others and doing
exercises.

*The Four Sessions*. One crucial aspect is that we end each of the 4
four-hour monthly sessions by sharing individually what we want to
accomplish by our next gathering.

*Session One*: *Life Story*. A lifetime Planning exercise: reflection on
your life to tell your unique story through identifying turning points and
themes. The session ends with what are your next steps of your life work:
obituary work, book groups and movies to watch.

*Session Two*: *Scenario Planning* Workshop: Identifying and then creating
scenarios to enable you to intentionally and meaningfully live out the
remainder of your life over the next ten years. What are key factors,
external forces, and critical uncertainties of my future. Finally, what are
common issues which are blocks to end of life planning?

*Session Three*: Action Planning for the next six months; when, what and
how; planning your memorial service.

*Session Four:* Building your Life Plan and using it to help shape your
constructive relationship to end of life. Life planning- What’s next.

*Participants Reflections:*

·      “It provided a community learning experience regarding a topic not
usually spoken about, while it is a universal experience.”

·      “It was a vehicle to state my intent for my wishes after death for
my resources and legacy”

·       My starting premise is that many, many people need this and will
benefit. It is a service to them, to their children and communities- and
far too few have given this any thought, much less a thorough examination.”

*A useful guide book: “I’m Dead, Now What?”*



Dick Alton. A member of the Other World, since 1968


-- 
Richard H. T. Alton
One Earth Film Fest ( OEFF)
ICA Global Fund
Methodist Eco-Sustainability T/F
T: 773.344.7172
richard.alton at gmail.com
**Save the Date! One Earth Film Festival 2022, March 4-13,  Earth Day Fest,
April 19-24*
http:www.oneearthfilmfestival.org

Make Plain the Vision, Habakkuh 2:2
Won't you be my neighbor?
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