[Dialogue] Ruth Carter

[Mary Kurian D'Souza]

Thank you Jan for this description . . .

Sent from my iPhone

On 04-Aug-2013, at 9:17 PM, jbames10 at aol.com wrote:

> The last time Bud and I visited Ruth Carter was just over a year ago.  She was standing on her porch waiting for us.  A better welcome there could never be.
>  
>  Of late she seemed to struggle with depression so I made it a practice to call her from time to time.  It was always the same; she answered with a weak voice and ended with a "smile" and some renewed energy.  I talked to her 10 days or so before she died.  In an effort to help her reconnect  to one of her energy sources I asked her if she ever went to the preschool.  She said, "Not much but they come to me.   They stand on the sidewalk and call 'Ms Carter, Ms Carter, Ms. Carter.  We love you".  She said she would go out on her porch and wave and talk to them.   Neither the children or staff forgot her!  Nor did we! 
>  
>  And truthfully that is where she died according to Regina; on her beloved front porch.  When Regina's son came home from baseball or basketball practice on the 25th he found her on the porch and couldn't get her to move.  He called his mom and she came.  They called the paramedics who asked Regina what she wanted them to do.  She said "Save my Mama.  Save my Mama".  They tried.!  On the way to Mt. Sinai Hospital they did get a heartbeat and  the hospital kept her on life-support for 3 days or so.  Her kids and grandkids filled the room during that time  till they really got it that she was brain-dead, till they could let her go and asked them to take her off life support. 
>  
> As Regina and I visited she said she really died on that porch she loved.  And I say just as she planned.  She chose not to have a stent or pacemaker and knew the consequences as did they all.  She waved to us on that porch.  She waved to the 5th City Preschool children and staff on that porch, she stayed connected to the community on that porch and no doubt waved to the angel of death on that porch.  Free, free, free to decide.  She knew it and she did.
>  
>  Not too many days before she sat alone in the preschool yard.  One of her goodbyes?  I think so.  And on the day she left she was up and about her house...visiting with Regina, eating lunch, clearing dishes and wiping the table clean.  When Regina went upstairs to her home Ruth went out on the front porch to her home.
>  
> Hear her sing.  See her dance.  As we all rehearsed with one another.....Free, Free, Free to Decide.
>             May it be so.
>                     Jan Ames
>  
>  
> FYI     Ruth's address (and James and Regina also)  3511 W. Van Buren
>                                                                                      Chicago, IL 60624
>            Denise and Mike are her other 2 children
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